Hometown— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer provides relevant information but contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Nagasaki is a famous for being attacked...' is grammatically incorrect and the atomic bomb was called 'Fat Man', not 'Fatima'. Also, avoid unnecessary historical details unless directly relevant. Try to give a clear, concise answer with correct facts and natural phrasing.

Exemplo: My hometown is Nagasaki, which is located in the southwest of Japan. It is known for its beautiful scenery and rich history.

Sugestão: Your answer has some good points but contains inaccuracies and redundancy. For example, 'elephants' is likely incorrect as Nagasaki is not known for elephants. Also, avoid repeating 'beautiful' twice. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about what you like. Try to organise your answer clearly and avoid listing places without explanation.

Exemplo: I like Nagasaki because it has stunning natural scenery, including the ocean and mountains. Moreover, it offers a peaceful atmosphere that is different from busy cities like Tokyo or Osaka.

Sugestão: Your answer addresses the question but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'I had a level there'. Use correct verb tenses and clearer expressions. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Try to be concise and precise.

Exemplo: I lived in Nagasaki until I was 18 years old, then I moved to Tokyo to attend university. However, I have many fond memories of my hometown and visit it at least once a year.

Sugestão: Your answer attempts to explain but has grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions, such as 'employers who can much money'. Use correct grammar and clearer vocabulary. Also, provide more specific reasons and use linking words to improve coherence. Avoid vague numbers without context.

Exemplo: I don't think Nagasaki is an ideal place for young people to live long-term because there are limited job opportunities that offer good salaries. As a result, many young people move to bigger cities like Tokyo to find better work.

× Nagasaki is a famous for being attacked by the US in 1945 using an atomic bomb called Fatima.

✓ Nagasaki is famous for being attacked by the US in 1945 using an atomic bomb called Fatima.

The definite article 'a' is incorrectly used before 'famous'. 'Famous' is an adjective and does not require an article in this context. Removing 'a' makes the sentence grammatically correct.

× Nagasaki is filled with beautiful nature including beautiful ocean, mountains and elephants.

✓ Nagasaki is filled with beautiful nature including the beautiful ocean, mountains and elephants.

When referring to specific natural features like 'ocean' in a particular area, the definite article 'the' is needed. 'The beautiful ocean' specifies the ocean near Nagasaki.

× Nagasaki is filled with beautiful nature including beautiful ocean, mountains and elephants.

✓ Nagasaki is filled with beautiful nature including beautiful oceans, mountains and elephants.

If referring to multiple bodies of water, 'oceans' should be plural. However, if referring to one ocean, 'the ocean' is correct. Since the sentence lists multiple features, plural 'oceans' is appropriate if multiple are meant.

× I think it is worth visiting after you travel the Tokyo, Osaka and the Kyoto.

✓ I think it is worth visiting after you travel Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto.

City names do not require the definite article 'the'. Removing 'the' before city names makes the sentence correct.

× I had a level there until I was 18 years old and after that I came to Tokyo to go to university.

✓ I lived there until I was 18 years old and after that I came to Tokyo to go to university.

The phrase 'had a level' is incorrect here. The correct verb to express residing somewhere is 'lived'. Using 'lived' correctly indicates past residence.

× But there are a lot of memories in my hometown and I visited there at least once a year.

✓ But there are a lot of memories in my hometown and I visit there at least once a year.

The phrase 'visited there' is incorrect because 'visit' is a stative verb here and the present perfect or present simple is more appropriate. Also, 'visit' does not require 'there' when the place is already mentioned. Using 'I visit my hometown at least once a year' is better.

× No, I don't think Nagasaki is better place for young people in Japan to live in for a long time because there are not many employers who can much money to young people.

✓ No, I don't think Nagasaki is a better place for young people in Japan to live in for a long time because there are not many employers who can pay much money to young people.

The phrase 'better place' requires the indefinite article 'a'. Also, the verb 'can much money' is incomplete and should be 'can pay much money'.

× No, I don't think Nagasaki is better place for young people in Japan to live in for a long time because there are not many employers who can much money to young people.

✓ No, I don't think Nagasaki is a better place for young people in Japan to live in for a long time because there are not many employers who can pay much money to young people.

The modal verb 'can' must be followed by the base form of the verb 'pay'. Omitting 'pay' makes the sentence grammatically incorrect.

× So over 2000 people in Nagasaki go to Tokyo.

✓ So over 2000 people in Nagasaki go to Tokyo.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.