Hometown— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'young and energetic theory' and 'CD'. Try to use clear and correct expressions, and avoid confusing terms. Also, keep your answer concise and directly related to the question. For example, start with a clear topic sentence stating your hometown and then add one or two specific details.

Exemplo: My hometown is Shenzhen, a modern and vibrant city in southern China. It is known for its rapid development, excellent public transport, and numerous job opportunities, which make it an exciting place to live.

Sugestão: Your answer is fragmented and incomplete, with some sentences not finished and unclear references like 'CD'. Try to give a complete and coherent answer with linking words to connect your ideas. Also, avoid redundancy and ensure your sentences are grammatically correct.

Exemplo: I like the convenient infrastructure in my hometown, especially the subway system, which makes travelling around the city easy and quick. Additionally, the people are very friendly, which creates a welcoming atmosphere.

Sugestão: Your answer provides relevant information but contains grammatical errors and is a bit long. Try to use correct verb forms and punctuation, and keep your answer clear and concise. Also, separate different ideas into sentences for better clarity.

Exemplo: I was born and raised in this city, so I have lived here for almost 20 years. I love it because of its opportunities and atmosphere, and I plan to continue living here in the future.

Sugestão: Your answer has some vocabulary mistakes, such as 'Children' instead of 'Shenzhen', and grammatical errors like 'are have'. Make sure to use the correct city name and verb forms. Also, try to link your ideas smoothly and provide specific examples clearly.

Exemplo: Definitely yes. Shenzhen is a young and energetic city that offers many job opportunities for young people. For example, industries like AI and IT have many companies here, which helps the younger generation achieve their career goals.

× I am living in the city of Shenzhen, which can be considered as my hometown.

✓ I live in the city of Shenzhen, which can be considered my hometown.

The present continuous tense 'am living' is incorrectly used here to describe a permanent situation. The simple present tense 'live' is appropriate for permanent states or facts. Also, 'considered as' is incorrect; 'considered' should be used without 'as'.

× It is a young and energetic theory which of the great job opportunities, vibrant atmosphere and great infrastructure for people, allowing them to travel around the CD easily and enjoy the great city life.

✓ It is a young and energetic city which has great job opportunities, a vibrant atmosphere and great infrastructure for people, allowing them to travel around the city easily and enjoy the great city life.

The word 'theory' is incorrect; it should be 'city'. The phrase 'which of the great job opportunities' is ungrammatical; it should be 'which has great job opportunities'. Also, 'CD' is unclear and likely a typo for 'city'. Articles are missing before 'vibrant atmosphere' and 'great infrastructure'.

× Convenient infrastructure, for example the subway system allowing me to travel around the city easily and conveniently additionally.

✓ The infrastructure is convenient; for example, the subway system allows me to travel around the city easily and conveniently.

The original sentence is a fragment and lacks a main verb. It needs to be restructured into a complete sentence with a subject and verb. Also, 'additionally' is misplaced and unnecessary.

× The people around the CD. Are super friendly which also.

✓ The people around the city are super friendly as well.

The original is fragmented and incomplete. 'CD' is unclear and likely a typo for 'city'. The sentence needs to be combined and completed properly.

× I was born an raised up in this city which means that I have been living here for almost 20 years as I would turn 20 in July and I basically love here for the reason that I have mentioned above and probably I will continue to live here later in my life.

✓ I was born and raised in this city, which means that I have been living here for almost 20 years as I will turn 20 in July. I basically love it for the reasons I have mentioned above and will probably continue to live here later in my life.

The phrase 'an raised up' is incorrect; it should be 'and raised'. 'Would turn' is incorrect for a future event; 'will turn' is correct. 'Love here' is incorrect; it should be 'love it'. The sentence is long and needs punctuation for clarity.

× Definitely yes. Children is a young and energetic city which offers great job opportunities allowing younger generation to achieve their aspirations.

✓ Definitely yes. Shenzhen is a young and energetic city which offers great job opportunities allowing the younger generation to achieve their aspirations.

'Children' is incorrect as the subject; it should be the city's name or 'Shenzhen'. 'Younger generation' needs the definite article 'the'.

× For example, some promising industry such as AI and IT are have many corporations located here which is a great opportunity.

✓ For example, some promising industries such as AI and IT have many corporations located here, which is a great opportunity.

'Industry' should be plural 'industries' to match 'some'. 'Are have' is incorrect; it should be 'have'. The sentence needs commas for clarity.