Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is direct and clear with appropriate content. To improve, make the sentence more concise and natural by removing unnecessary words and slightly varying structure (e.g., “I’m a student at Bingbing Secondary School”). Also watch contraction consistency and pronunciation. Keep it to one sentence as a topic sentence followed by an optional brief detail.

Exemplo: I’m a student at Bingbing Secondary School. I study a range of subjects, but I’m especially interested in art and literature.

Sugestão: The answer explains why you don’t work but is a bit long and repetitive. Improve coherence by starting with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “I don’t work”) then give one clear reason using a linking word. Avoid repeating the same idea (underage/not hired).

Exemplo: I don’t work at the moment because I’m still a secondary student. As I’m underage, local employers won’t hire me, so I’m focusing on my studies.

Sugestão: Your answer aims to give reasons but has repetition, minor grammar issues and awkward phrasing (e.g., “it it”, “in at my workplace”). Make a short topic sentence, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words and varied vocabulary (supportive, fair, friendly).

Exemplo: Yes, it is a good place because the staff are friendly and supportive. In addition, the manager treats everyone fairly, which creates a positive working atmosphere.

Sugestão: This repeats previous content and contains many mistakes and repetitions (e.g., “color college colleges”, doubled words). Instead, give a concise direct answer and add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Check word choice and avoid repeating the same points.

Exemplo: Yes, I would, because the environment is rewarding and my colleagues are helpful. Moreover, the boss is supportive and treats everyone fairly, which makes the place enjoyable.

Sugestão: Your answer communicates a general idea but is disorganized, repetitive, and has grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence about your main plan. If you have uncertainty, express it succinctly (e.g., “I hope to work as an artist”). Then give one or two specific steps or actions using linking words (e.g., studying, taking commissions). Avoid filler phrases like “to be honest” repeated.

Exemplo: In the future I hope to work as an artist. To achieve that, I plan to study more art techniques and accept commissions online so I can build a portfolio and earn money.

× I am still a student and I'm currently studying at Bingbing Secondary School.

✓ I am still a student, and I am currently studying at Bingbing Secondary School.

This sentence has minor style/consistency issues rather than grammar errors. 'I'm' is a contraction of 'I am'; using the full form 'I am' makes the sentence consistent and slightly more formal for a test. Keep verb tense present continuous 'am studying' to describe current activity.

× Well since I'm still a secondary student so no places in my neighborhood would hire me because I am underage, so I'm still studying at my school.

✓ Well, since I'm still a secondary student and underage, no places in my neighborhood will hire me, so I'm still studying at school.

This sentence contains redundancy and incorrect clause linking. Remove the extra 'so' after 'Well' and combine clauses with 'and' instead of repeating 'so'. Use 'will hire' (future/predictive) or present simple 'hire' for general truth; 'will hire me' is acceptable here. Simplify 'at my school' to 'at school' for natural English.

× Yes it is because it it provides me good job satisfaction and the workers here are very friendly.

✓ Yes, it is, because it provides me with good job satisfaction, and the workers here are very friendly.

Add commas for clarity and include the preposition 'with' after 'provides me' to form the correct collocation 'provides me with'. Remove repeated 'it'. Maintain present simple 'provides' to describe general facts.

× Also my boss is really supportive and reasonable and also fair to everyone in at my workplace.

✓ Also, my boss is really supportive and reasonable, and fair to everyone at my workplace.

Remove the extra preposition 'in' before 'at my workplace' (double prepositions). Use commas to separate adjectives and clauses. Keep present simple adjectives 'is supportive' to describe a general characteristic.

× Yes of course because it provides me with good job satisfaction. My color college colleges are friendly and and helpful.

✓ Yes, of course, because it provides me with good job satisfaction. My college colleagues are friendly and helpful.

The phrase 'color college colleges' is incorrect; likely meant 'college colleagues' or 'school colleagues'. Remove the duplicated 'and'. Use 'colleagues' to mean peers; keep present simple 'are' for states.

× Also my boss is really supportive and reasonable. He's also a very fair person too.

✓ Also, my boss is really supportive and reasonable. He is also a very fair person.

Avoid redundancy: 'also' and 'too' together are repetitive. Use full form 'He is' for consistency. Maintain present simple to describe characteristics.

× To be honest, I would like my big To be honest my future work plans is not to be unemployed and if I do I would become an artist instead and start start studying more things so I can open my commissions and earn money from it.

✓ To be honest, my future work plan is not to be unemployed; if I am, I would become an artist instead and start studying more so I can take commissions and earn money from them.

This sentence had repetition ('To be honest' twice, 'start start') and subject-verb disagreement ('plans is'). Change 'plans' to singular 'plan' with 'is', or keep plural with 'are'. Use 'if I am' for condition and 'take commissions' as the correct collocation. Use plural 'them' to refer to commissions. Remove redundant words and keep tense consistency.