Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Your answer is generally clear but can be improved by correcting grammar and making it more concise. For example, use 'My interests align' instead of 'my interest align' and avoid redundancy by combining sentences effectively.

Exemplo: I'm currently studying Bachelor of Commerce in Marketing at Midway College of Arts and Commerce because my interests align with consumer behaviour and business strategies.

Sugestão: Your answer is informative but a bit long and slightly unclear. Try to be more direct and use linking words to improve coherence. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'very renowned' and specify the type of work you do.

Exemplo: I'm currently doing an internship at a well-known paying guest accommodation branch in Santa Cruz, which helps me understand how a corporate office operates.

Sugestão: Good use of content and linking ideas. However, try to simplify sentences and avoid redundancy. For example, 'focus on our work and our life as well' can be rephrased for clarity.

Exemplo: Although work-life balance is often debated in India, my office offers a supportive environment with facilities like an indoor gym and cafes where we can relax and reduce stress.

Sugestão: Your answer is descriptive and engaging. To improve, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid starting sentences with 'And'.

Exemplo: I really love my workplace because it is surrounded by interesting places; for instance, there's an airport behind the building where you can watch planes take off, and opposite it is Juhu Beach, a popular spot to relax during leisure time.

Sugestão: Your answer is clear and relevant. To enhance it, try to use more precise vocabulary and link your ideas better. For example, explain briefly what user-generated content involves.

Exemplo: As an outgoing person who loves nature, I plan to build a career in travel content creation. Recently, I learned about user-generated content, which involves collaborating with influencers to promote places and restaurants, helping people discover new destinations more easily.

× I want to pursue this because my interest align with the consumer behaviour and business strategies.

✓ I want to pursue this because my interests align with consumer behaviour and business strategies.

The subject 'interest' should be plural 'interests' to agree with the plural verb 'align'. Also, 'consumer behaviour' and 'business strategies' are general concepts and do not need 'the' before them here.

× I'm currently studying in Midway College of Arts and Commerce.

✓ I'm currently studying at Midway College of Arts and Commerce.

The correct preposition to use with institutions like colleges is 'at' rather than 'in'.

× I'm working under a very renowned paying guest accommodation branch which is in Santa Cruz, and it gives me a lot of knowledge on how a corporate office actually works.

✓ I'm working at a very renowned paying guest accommodation branch which is in Santa Cruz, and it gives me a lot of knowledge about how a corporate office actually works.

The preposition 'under' is incorrect here; 'at' is appropriate for workplaces. Also, 'knowledge on' should be 'knowledge about'.

× my office provides us the environment to focus on our work and our life as well while providing indoor gym and cafes to chill out while working and if we feel stressed out.

✓ My office provides us with an environment to focus on our work and our life as well, while providing an indoor gym and cafes to chill out during work or if we feel stressed out.

The phrase 'provides us the environment' should be 'provides us with an environment'. Also, 'indoor gym' and 'cafes' need articles 'an' and plural consistency. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× Even though there are a lot of controversies about work life balance in India, my office provides us the environment to focus on our work and our life as well while providing indoor gym and cafes to chill out while working and if we feel stressed out.

✓ Even though there are a lot of controversies about work-life balance in India, my office provides us with an environment to focus on our work and our life as well, providing an indoor gym and cafes to chill out during work or if we feel stressed out.

The sentence was too long and had awkward conjunctions. Replacing 'and if' with 'or if' and restructuring improves clarity and correctness.

× I actually really love my workplace because of its surrounding as there's an airport just behind the building where you can enjoy watching planes taking off.

✓ I actually really love my workplace because of its surroundings, as there's an airport just behind the building where you can enjoy watching planes taking off.

The noun 'surrounding' should be plural 'surroundings' to refer to the area around the workplace.

× And right opposite to that, there's a very famous beach called Juhu which is one of the most popular in India where you can go and relax in your leisure time.

✓ And right opposite that, there's a very famous beach called Juhu, which is one of the most popular in India, where you can go and relax in your leisure time.

The phrase 'right opposite to that' should be 'right opposite that'. Also, commas improve sentence clarity.