Work— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Câu trả lời của bạn cần rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn. Bạn nên sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh, tránh lỗi ngữ pháp như 'I'm choose' và diễn đạt ý tưởng một cách tự nhiên hơn. Ngoài ra, hãy tránh những phần không rõ nghĩa như 'follow in my mother first aid' và thay bằng cách giải thích rõ ràng hơn về lý do chọn ngành học.

Exemplo: I am currently a student at the Academy of Finance. I chose this major because my mother works in the finance sector and has inspired me a lot to follow a similar career path.

Sugestão: Bạn nên sử dụng thì đúng và câu hoàn chỉnh, tránh lỗi ngữ pháp như 'I have work' và 'help help'. Ngoài ra, hãy sắp xếp câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn, sử dụng liên từ để kết nối ý và cung cấp thông tin cụ thể hơn về công việc bán thời gian của bạn.

Exemplo: Actually, I am a student, but I work part-time during my free time to support myself. For example, I have worked at a property shop and a small coffee shop in Hanoi. These jobs have helped me gain experience and earn some extra money while studying.

Sugestão: Bạn nên chú ý sử dụng thì đúng và câu hoàn chỉnh, ví dụ như 'had a opportunity' nên là 'I had the opportunity'. Ngoài ra, hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể hơn về kỹ năng bạn đã phát triển hoặc trải nghiệm bạn đã có.

Exemplo: Yes, it's a good place to work because it has helped me develop my skills and gain valuable experience. Also, I had the opportunity to save a lot of money during my free time, which was very useful for me.

Sugestão: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp như 'I'm work' và 'again my experience'. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi, sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh và giải thích rõ ràng về mong muốn công việc tương lai của mình.

Exemplo: Actually, I am currently studying at the Academy of Finance, so I would like to work in a corporate company. Besides, I want to improve my skills and gain more experience.

Sugestão: Bạn nên chú ý sử dụng danh từ số nhiều 'skills' thay vì 'skill' và câu trả lời nên mạch lạc hơn bằng cách sử dụng liên từ. Ngoài ra, hãy tránh lặp từ như 'opportunity for me' và thay bằng cách diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn.

Exemplo: Well, I want to work in a corporate company because my major is finance and banking. I believe working there will help me enhance my skills, gain valuable experience, and improve my career opportunities.

× Student Currently I'm a union student at Academy of Finance.

✓ Currently, I'm a university student at the Academy of Finance.

The word 'union' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'university'. Also, the sentence needs a comma after 'Currently' for proper punctuation.

× I'm choose my major because I want to follow in my mother first aid.

✓ I chose my major because I want to follow in my mother's footsteps.

The verb 'choose' should be in past tense 'chose' to match the context. Also, 'first aid' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'mother's footsteps' to express following someone's path.

× She as she worked in the finance sector and has inspired me a lot.

✓ She worked in the finance sector and has inspired me a lot.

The phrase 'She as she' is redundant and incorrect. It should be simplified to 'She' to maintain clarity and correctness.

× Actually I am a student so I work part time in my free time to support myself.

✓ Actually, I am a student, so I work part-time in my free time to support myself.

The sentence needs commas to separate clauses properly. Also, 'part time' should be hyphenated as 'part-time' when used as an adjective.

× For example, I have work at a property shop and a small coffee in Hanoi.

✓ For example, I have worked at a property shop and a small coffee shop in Hanoi.

The verb 'work' should be in the past participle form 'worked' to correctly follow 'have'. Also, 'coffee' should be 'coffee shop' for clarity.

× This shop, this job help help me get experience and learn more extra money while studying.

✓ This job helps me gain experience and earn extra money while studying.

The sentence has repeated words 'help help' and awkward phrasing. 'Help' should be 'helps' to agree with singular subject 'job'. 'Get experience' is better as 'gain experience', and 'learn more extra money' is incorrect; 'earn extra money' is appropriate.

× Yes, it's a good place to work because it helped me develop my skills and gain a valuable experience.

✓ Yes, it's a good place to work because it helps me develop my skills and gain valuable experience.

The tense should be present tense 'helps' to match 'it's' (it is). Also, 'a valuable experience' should be 'valuable experience' as 'experience' is uncountable here.

× Also had a opportunity to save many during my free time which was very useful for me.

✓ I also had an opportunity to save money during my free time, which was very useful for me.

The sentence is missing the subject 'I'. 'a opportunity' should be 'an opportunity' because 'opportunity' starts with a vowel sound. 'save many' is incorrect; it should be 'save money'.

× Wow, actually I'm work.

✓ Wow, actually I'm working.

The verb 'work' needs to be in the present participle form 'working' to follow 'I'm' (I am).

× Beside I want to improve my skill and again my experience.

✓ Besides, I want to improve my skills and gain more experience.

'Beside' is incorrect; the correct word is 'Besides'. 'Skill' should be plural 'skills'. 'Again my experience' is incorrect; it should be 'gain more experience'.

× Well, actually I want to work in a corporate company because my major is finance and banking.

✓ Well, actually, I want to work in a corporate company because my major is finance and banking.

A comma is needed after 'actually' for correct punctuation.

× So I believe working there can help me enhance my skill, gain valuable experience and improve my opportunity for me.

✓ So I believe working there can help me enhance my skills, gain valuable experience, and improve my opportunities.

'Skill' should be plural 'skills' to match the context. 'Opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' as it refers to multiple chances or prospects. Also, 'for me' is unnecessary and can be omitted.