Shopping— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words and minor grammar errors (e.g., “I am” unnecessary). Use linking words like “but” or “so” to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I enjoy shopping because it makes me feel happy. However, I rarely buy things on impulse; I usually focus on useful items like clothes I need or kitchen tools that will last.

제안: Clarify your point and correct unclear phrases. Use a clear topic sentence followed by specific reasons and one linking word. Remove hesitation and incorrect expressions like “avoid all paying.”

예시: Yes, I usually compare prices, especially for electronics. For example, before buying a smartphone I check several websites and reviews so I can find the best features at a reasonable price.

제안: Make a clear, grammatical response. Start with a direct statement about whether it is difficult, then give one or two specific reasons and explain how you decide. Avoid repetition and fill words.

예시: Yes, I sometimes find it hard to choose expensive items because there are many options and features to consider. So I compare products online and read reviews to decide which one offers the best value.

제안: Give a balanced opinion with specific reasons and a linking word to contrast ideas. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid vague words like “facilities.” Use words like “durability,” “features,” and acknowledge exceptions.

예시: I don't think expensive products are always better. Generally, pricier items can offer better quality and extra features, but some affordable products provide excellent performance and value, so I judge each item on reviews and specifications.

× I think yes because shopping gives me a dopamine hit.

✓ I think so because shopping gives me a dopamine hit.

Use 'so' rather than 'yes' after 'I think' in this context; 'I think so' is the natural present-tense response. Replace 'yes' with 'so' for grammatical and idiomatic correctness.

× However I am, I don't buy things impulsively.

✓ However, I don't buy things impulsively.

The phrase 'I am' is unnecessary and breaks sentence structure. Remove the extra words and add a comma after 'However' to connect contrasting ideas correctly.

× The reason is I prefer to buy useful things.

✓ The reason is that I prefer to buy useful things.

In present-tense explanations, include 'that' after 'The reason is' for clarity and grammatical completeness.

× Well, it depends on the products.

✓ Well, it depends on the product.

Context suggests referring to the type of product in general; using the singular 'product' is more natural here. Alternatively, 'the products' is acceptable if you mean multiple categories, but 'product' fits the following examples better.

× For instance, when it comes to uh, electronic shopping or smartphone prices, uh, before buying it, I take my time.

✓ For instance, when it comes to electronics or smartphone prices, before buying one I take my time.

Use 'electronics' (uncountable/plural) instead of 'electronic shopping', and 'one' as the pronoun for 'a smartphone'. Place 'before buying one' together for correct sentence flow.

× So then I purchase items at a reasonable price because I try to avoid all paying.

✓ So I try to purchase items at a reasonable price because I try to avoid overpaying.

'So then' is redundant; use 'So' or 'Therefore'. 'Avoid all paying' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'avoid overpaying'. Keep tense consistent.

× When I am being expensive items or significant, uh, things, uh, it's difficult to make my choice, uh, because there are, uh, a lot of options I have.

✓ When I am buying expensive or important items, it's difficult to make a choice because I have a lot of options.

Replace 'being' with 'buying'; 'significant' should be 'important'; streamline word order: 'make a choice' and 'I have a lot of options'. Remove filler words.

× So then I compare to the online.

✓ So I compare prices online.

'Compare to the online' is ungrammatical. Use 'compare prices online' to express the action clearly and correctly.

× So then I, I try, I try to choose a.

✓ Then I try to make a choice.

This fragmented sentence lacks an object and repeats phrases. Use 'make a choice' to complete the thought in a concise present-tense form.

× In my perspective, actually expensive products, uh, is better than cheaper.

✓ From my perspective, expensive products are actually better than cheaper ones.

Use 'From my perspective' rather than 'In my perspective'. Subject-verb agreement: 'products are' not 'is'. Use 'cheaper ones' to refer back to 'products'.

× The reason is the expensive things uh, included the quality and uh, more useful facilities and cheaper ones, uh, always, uh, cheap.

✓ The reason is that expensive things include higher quality and more useful features, while cheaper ones are often low-quality.

Use present tense 'include' to match general statement. 'Included' (past participle) is incorrect here. Replace 'facilities' with 'features' and rephrase 'always cheap' to 'often low-quality' for clarity and grammatical correctness.