Shopping— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like “umm” and correct tense and agreement errors.

예시: Yes, I enjoy shopping because it helps me relax after studying. For example, when I feel stressed I often browse online stores or visit a nearby mall to buy small items, which makes me feel refreshed.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and organize reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (plural/singular, verb forms) and choose precise vocabulary (check/refresh app, cheaper option). Remove repetitions.

예시: Yes, I usually compare prices because I want to find the best deal. For instance, when I see an item in a store I check an online app to compare prices and discounts so I can buy the cheaper option.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence and then explain clearly using linking words. Replace hesitations with precise phrases and give a brief concrete example of what you mean by “function.”

예시: Sometimes it is difficult, but not usually, because I focus on a product's function rather than its appearance. For example, when buying a backpack I choose one with durable material and good compartments instead of picking it just for its color.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Fix grammar and remove fillers. Use linking words like “because” and “for example.”

예시: No, I don't think expensive products are always better because price can reflect popularity rather than quality. For example, a popular brand may charge more due to trends, while a cheaper item from a lesser-known brand can perform just as well.

× I love shopping because I think it's kind of therapy, umm when I stress on study and I shop something online or just go to the mall and buy something, I think it's make me feel relaxing and refreshing.

✓ I love shopping because I think it's a kind of therapy; when I feel stressed about studying, I shop online or go to the mall and buy something; I think it makes me feel relaxed and refreshed.

Errors: missing article 'a' before 'kind of therapy' (article error), wrong verb form 'stress on study' should be 'feel stressed about studying' (present tense / sentence structure), 'shop something' should be 'shop online' or 'buy something' (verb + object), 'I think it's make' uses incorrect verb form after 'it' (subject-verb agreement/present tense). Suggestions: use 'a kind of therapy', change 'stress on study' to 'feel stressed about studying', use 'shop online' or 'buy something', and use 'it makes me' and adjective forms 'relaxed' and 'refreshed'.

× Yes I always compare price like when I go to the mall and see the goods on the shelf and I always at that moment I always shake on the online app to compare the price because I think it is better to got cheaper price in.

✓ Yes, I always compare prices. When I go to the mall and see goods on the shelf, I also check the online app at that moment to compare prices because I think it's better to get a cheaper price.

Errors: 'compare price' should be plural 'compare prices' (singular/plural). 'I always shake on the online app' is incorrect verb choice and structure (sentence structure/verb usage) — use 'check'. 'got cheaper price in' uses wrong verb form and preposition; use 'get a cheaper price' or 'find a lower price' (verb tense and preposition). Suggestions: use plural 'prices', replace 'shake' with 'check', and use 'get a cheaper price' or 'find a lower price'.

× MMM sometimes, but not always because I always focus more on function, not like some interface or appearance. So I just look more on the type of the products, not just like color or style or umm.

✓ Sometimes, but not always, because I focus more on function rather than interface or appearance. I look more at the type of product, not just the color or style.

Errors: redundant filler 'MMM' and awkward structure 'not like some interface' (sentence structure). 'look more on' is incorrect preposition; use 'look more at' (preposition error). 'the type of the products' is better as 'the type of product' (article/number and word order). Suggestions: remove fillers, use 'rather than' to contrast, use 'look at' and singular 'product' for natural phrasing.

× Not really because sometime expensive products is it is because of the high demand and high demand is just it may be because of social umm trend like customer train at that time, but.

✓ Not really, because sometimes expensive products are costly due to high demand, and high demand may be caused by social trends, like customer enthusiasm at that time.

Errors: 'sometime' should be 'sometimes' (adverb form). 'expensive products is' uses incorrect verb agreement; plural subject 'products' needs plural verb 'are' (subject-verb agreement). The clause 'is it is because' is redundant and ungrammatical (sentence structure). 'customer train' is incorrect phrase; likely 'customer trend' or 'customer enthusiasm' (word choice). Suggestions: use 'sometimes', ensure subject-verb agreement ('products are'), remove redundancy, and replace unclear phrases with 'social trends' or 'customer enthusiasm'.