Party— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons or examples using connectors like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy parties because they help me connect with friends and family. For instance, I often attend birthday parties where I express my feelings through dancing and singing, which makes the experience more enjoyable.

제안: Focus on structuring your answer clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to connect ideas. Also, try to avoid repetition and be more specific about the frequency and types of parties.

예시: When I was a child, we had many parties at home because my family is large. For example, we celebrated birthdays almost every month, which created many happy memories for me.

제안: Make your answer more complete and coherent by finishing your sentences and using linking words. Provide specific details about what you did to organize the party. Avoid informal phrases like 'you know'.

예시: Yes, I have organized my brother's birthday party. I invited friends and family, arranged decorations, and ordered a birthday cake to make the celebration special.

× I often visit my friend's birthday party or any family gathering.

✓ I often visit my friend's birthday parties or any family gatherings.

The nouns 'party' and 'gathering' should be plural because the sentence refers to these events in general and multiple times, not just one. Using plural forms correctly matches the quantifier 'any' and the habitual action 'often'.

× I love to attend such kind of party which helps me to be more connected with the people.

✓ I love to attend such kinds of parties which help me to be more connected with people.

The phrase 'such kind of party' is incorrect; it should be 'such kinds of parties' to indicate a general category. Also, 'helps' should be 'help' to agree with the plural subject 'parties'. The article 'the' before 'people' is unnecessary here because it refers to people in general.

× I like to share my feelings and emotion through dancing and singing so it's a good way to.

✓ I like to share my feelings and emotions through dancing and singing, so it's a good way to do that.

The noun 'emotion' should be plural 'emotions' to match 'feelings'. The sentence is incomplete and needs 'do that' to complete the idea. Also, a comma before 'so' improves sentence clarity.

× we used to have a lot of party at my home is because we have a big family.

✓ we used to have a lot of parties at my home because we have a big family.

The noun 'party' should be plural 'parties' because 'a lot of' refers to multiple events. The phrase 'is because' is incorrect; 'because' alone suffices to explain the reason.

× So we did have a lot of birthday over a year like in every month or in my family we used to celebrate

✓ So we did have a lot of birthdays over a year, like every month, and in my family we used to celebrate

The noun 'birthday' should be plural 'birthdays' to indicate multiple occasions. The phrase 'in every month' is better as 'every month'. Adding commas improves readability.

× and which makes my memories which makes my life so enjoyable.

✓ which creates memories and makes my life so enjoyable.

The original sentence is fragmented and repetitive. Combining the ideas with 'which creates memories and makes my life so enjoyable' improves clarity and sentence structure.

× I have, especially in my brother birthday.

✓ I have, especially on my brother's birthday.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'on' is used with specific days or dates. Also, 'brother birthday' should be possessive 'brother's birthday'.

× I was the main organizer of my brother birthday party and I used to invite my friends, relatives and all the family members gathering together and arranging all the birthday decoration and you know about the birthday cake and.

✓ I was the main organizer of my brother's birthday party. I used to invite my friends, relatives, and all the family members to gather together and arrange all the birthday decorations, including the birthday cake.

The phrase 'my brother birthday party' should be 'my brother's birthday party' to show possession. The sentence is run-on and incomplete; splitting into two sentences and completing the ideas improves clarity. 'Gathering' should be 'to gather', and 'arranging' should be 'arrange' to maintain parallel structure. 'Decoration' should be plural 'decorations' because it refers to multiple items.