Party— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating words like 'dear' and use more natural phrases such as 'close family and friends'.

예시: Yes, I enjoy parties because they help me stay connected with close family and friends. For example, last year I attended my cousin's wedding, where I caught up with many relatives and friends.

제안: Make your answer clearer and more grammatically correct. Use a topic sentence followed by specific details, and include linking words to improve coherence. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'it comes once a month' without specifying what 'it' is.

예시: When I was a kid, I attended parties about once a month. I always felt very happy because these gatherings were fun and a chance to meet my friends.

제안: Improve your answer by using correct grammar and clearer sentence structure. Start with a topic sentence, then add specific details with linking words. Also, use more natural expressions like 'invited all my female relatives and friends' and 'danced to the DJ's music'.

예시: Yes, I organised a birthday party last year. I invited all my female relatives and friends, and we enjoyed ourselves by cutting the cake and dancing to the DJ's music.

× I stay connected with my dear and dear ones and we meet in the parties such as last year I went to my cousin brother marriage and I met with my relatives and friends.

✓ I stay connected with my dear ones and we meet at parties. For example, last year I went to my cousin brother's marriage and met my relatives and friends.

The phrase 'my dear and dear ones' is incorrect; it should be 'my dear ones'. Also, 'in the parties' should be 'at parties' because we use 'at' for events. The sentence is long and run-on; splitting it improves clarity. 'Cousin brother marriage' lacks possessive form; it should be 'cousin brother's marriage'. 'Met with' is incorrect here; 'met' is sufficient.

× Well, when I was kid I really went to parties because it comes once a month and when I went to parties I feel very happy.

✓ Well, when I was a kid I really went to parties because they came once a month and when I went to parties I felt very happy.

The phrase 'when I was kid' is missing the article 'a'. 'It comes once a month' is incorrect because 'parties' is plural; it should be 'they came once a month' to match past tense. 'I feel very happy' should be 'I felt very happy' to maintain past tense consistency.

× Last year during my birthday I organised a birthday party and I invite my all the ladies and my friends and we enjoyed together and cut the cake and dance on the DJ.

✓ Last year during my birthday I organised a birthday party and invited all the ladies and my friends. We enjoyed ourselves, cut the cake, and danced to the DJ.

The verb 'invite' should be in past tense 'invited' to match 'organised'. 'My all the ladies' is incorrect; it should be 'all the ladies'. 'We enjoyed together' is awkward; 'we enjoyed ourselves' is better. 'Dance on the DJ' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'danced to the DJ'.