History— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is informative but a bit long and slightly redundant. Try to make your response more concise and natural by avoiding unnecessary phrases like 'for myself' and 'about talking a certain part of history.' Also, use linking words to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, I studied history in middle and high school since it's mandatory in China. I'm also a history enthusiast, so I continue to read books and watch YouTube videos about different historical topics even after graduation.

제안: Your answer is clear but somewhat repetitive and could be more concise. Avoid repeating similar ideas and use linking words to connect your points smoothly. Also, try to vary your vocabulary to sound more natural.

예시: I learn history mainly by reading books and watching YouTube videos. For example, I often buy series that systematically cover a country's history, which helps me understand the topics better.

제안: Your answer has good ideas but the sentences are fragmented and lack coherence. Use complete sentences and linking words to connect your points logically. Also, be more specific with your examples to enrich your answer.

예시: Learning history helps us understand how our society has developed over time. Moreover, it reveals the cultural roots that make each nation unique, allowing us to appreciate the world's diversity and inclusiveness.

제안: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains incomplete sentences. Try to avoid repeating phrases and ensure your sentences are complete. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide more specific reasons or examples.

예시: Yes, I believe learning history is important because it helps us understand the root causes of social issues today. Additionally, it allows us to appreciate our nation's background and cultural heritage.

× Yes, in China history is a mandatory subject in middle school and in high school.

✓ Yes, in China history is a mandatory subject in middle schools and high schools.

The sentence refers to 'middle school' and 'high school' in a general sense, so the plural forms 'middle schools' and 'high schools' are appropriate to indicate all such schools in China.

× ...or watch some videos on YouTube about talking a certain part of history.

✓ ...or watch some videos on YouTube about a certain part of history.

The phrase 'about talking a certain part of history' is incorrect because 'talking' is unnecessary and awkward here. The correct expression is 'about a certain part of history' to indicate the topic of the videos.

× Also for myself, I am a fan of history, so even after graduating from high school, I still read some history books or watch some videos on YouTube about talking a certain part of history.

✓ Also, I am a fan of history, so even after graduating from high school, I still read some history books or watch some videos on YouTube about a certain part of history.

The phrase 'for myself' is unnecessary and awkward in this context. Simply saying 'Also, I am a fan of history' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× Sometimes I buy a series of books introducing a country or a nation's history systematically.

✓ Sometimes I buy a series of books that introduce a country’s or a nation’s history systematically.

The verb 'introducing' should be changed to 'that introduce' to correctly modify 'a series of books'. Also, the possessive form 'country’s or a nation’s history' is clearer.

× Also some videos on YouTube also help me organize those.

✓ Also, some videos on YouTube help me organize that information.

The sentence is repetitive with 'also' twice and 'organize those' is vague. Adding a comma after 'Also' and specifying 'that information' improves clarity and correctness.

× While learning history can help you know how our current world or our current society became.

✓ Learning history can help you understand how our current world or society came to be.

The original sentence is a fragment starting with 'While' but lacking a main clause. Rewriting it as a complete sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× This way, we can learn about the cultural root of a nation's specialty.

✓ This way, we can learn about the cultural roots of a nation's specialties.

'Root' should be plural 'roots' because cultures often have multiple roots. 'Specialty' should be plural 'specialties' to match the plural sense.

× Nowadays.

✓ Nowadays,

'Nowadays' is an adverb that should be followed by a comma when starting a sentence, not a period, to connect it properly to the following clause.

× Nowadays.

✓ Nowadays, learning history helps us understand the root cause of certain social issues.

The word 'Nowadays' alone is a sentence fragment. It should be connected to the following sentence to form a complete thought.