Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response a complete, natural sentence and add one specific detail to make it more vivid. Use a linking word to connect reason and example. Avoid short fragments like “Was quite impressive.”

예시: Yes, there was a McDonald’s TV advert that impressed me when I was a child because it showed a man eating a hamburger in a very satisfying way. For example, he smiled and savoured every bite, which made the product look delicious and memorable.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and combine the two sentences using a linking phrase for coherence. Add a brief specific example of the type of product or service to strengthen content.

예시: Yes, I see many advertisements on trains and taxis, and most of them promote newly released products or recently launched services. For instance, I often notice posters for new smartphones and streaming service subscriptions on the carriage walls.

제안: The answer is clear and relevant; improve grammar (subject-verb agreement) and tighten wording to sound more natural. Use one linking word to connect reason and example and avoid filler like “essentially.”

예시: No, I don’t like advertisements because they often encourage impulsive and wasteful purchases. For example, targeted online ads frequently tempt me to buy things I don’t need, which can become quite expensive.

제안: Good structure and relevant example. Make small grammar fixes (article and plural agreement) and shorten slightly to stay within 5 sentences. Add a linking word to show result clearly.

예시: I prefer advertisements that feature my favourite movies or actors because they grab my attention and make the product more appealing. For example, when I see an ad with my favourite actor, I feel excited and I’m much more likely to remember it.

제안: Correct small errors and make the example clearer and more natural. Use a linking word to connect the general statement and the example, and replace unclear phrase “as before and after” with “before and after.”

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone. For example, when I watch videos on YouTube, there are ads before and after the video, which I find a bit annoying.

× Was quite impressive to me because the man was eating a hamburger very deliciously and seemed very satisfied with the product.

✓ It was quite impressive to me because the man was eating a hamburger very deliciously and seemed very satisfied with the product.

The sentence lacked an explicit subject and verb 'There be' pattern is not used here; the intended subject is 'It' referring to the advertisement. Start the sentence with 'It was' to form a complete clause. Suggestion: Always include the subject 'It' when referring to a previous noun like 'an advertisement' so the sentence has a clear subject and verb.

× Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on trains or taxis.

✓ Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on trains and taxis.

Using 'or' implies exclusivity; native phrasing often lists multiple places with 'and'. Also 'a lot of advertisements on trains and taxis' is more natural. Suggestion: Use 'and' when indicating multiple locations where something commonly appears.

× Most of the ads are about the products newly released or services newly launched.

✓ Most of the ads are about newly released products or newly launched services.

Word order and adjective placement are incorrect. 'Newly released' and 'newly launched' are adjectival phrases that should come before the nouns they modify. Suggestion: Place the modifiers before the nouns: 'newly released products' and 'newly launched services'.

× For example, targeted online ads makes me want to buy things that I don't need, essentially, and this can be expensive.

✓ For example, targeted online ads make me want to buy things that I don't need, and this can be expensive.

Subject 'ads' is plural so the verb should be 'make' not 'makes'. Also 'essentially' is unnecessary and interrupts flow. Suggestion: Ensure the verb agrees with the subject (plural subject -> plural verb) and remove filler words unless needed.

× I prefer advertisements that feature my favorite movies or actors because that draws my attention and makes me interested in that product.

✓ I prefer advertisements that feature my favorite movies or actors because they draw my attention and make me interested in the product.

The demonstrative 'that' incorrectly refers to a plural idea; use plural pronoun 'they' to match 'advertisements' and use 'the product' or 'those products' for clarity. Suggestion: Match pronoun number to the antecedent: plural antecedent -> plural pronoun; also be consistent about singular/plural for 'product'.

× For example, when I see an ads featuring my favorite actor, I feel excited and more likely to remember the ad.

✓ For example, when I see an ad featuring my favorite actor, I feel excited and am more likely to remember it.

Use singular 'an ad' not 'an ads'. Also replace 'the ad' with pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition and add 'am' for correct verb phrase 'am more likely'. Suggestion: Ensure article matches noun number ('an' + singular noun) and maintain pronoun consistency.

× For example, when I watch videos on YouTube, there are as before and after the video, which can be a bit annoying.

✓ For example, when I watch videos on YouTube, there are ads before and after the video, which can be a bit annoying.

The original sentence has missing and misplaced words: 'as' is incorrect and 'ads' was omitted. Replace 'as' with 'ads' and correct word order to 'ads before and after the video'. Suggestion: Read sentences aloud to catch missing words and ensure each noun is present and in the right place.