Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear: begin with a direct topic sentence saying which advertisement impressed you, then give one or two specific supporting details (what the ad showed and why it appealed to you). Avoid filler words like “like” and unrelated phrases. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use simple linking words (because, so).

예시: When I was a child, ice cream commercials impressed me the most. They showed colorful cones and happy children enjoying ice cream, which made me want to try new flavours because I loved sweets.

제안: Give a clear, grammatical statement about whether you see many ads, then add one specific example of where and how they appear. Use correct nouns and simple sentence structure; avoid garbled phrases. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words such as “for example” or “for instance.”

예시: Yes, I see many advertisements on public transport. For example, on the BTS sky train there are small screens and posters that play short video ads while people are waiting or seated.

제안: Answer directly (Yes/No/It depends) and then explain briefly why with a specific reason and an example. Avoid unclear phrases and contradictions. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words (because, however).

예시: It depends on the advertisement because I only like ads that match my interests. For instance, I enjoy ads about fashion or food, but I find irrelevant pop-up ads annoying because they interrupt what I am doing.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the type of ads you like, then add 1–2 specific reasons and an example. Use appropriate vocabulary (trends, fashion industry) and correct small errors (e.g., ‘trains’ → ‘trends’). Keep it within 2–3 sentences and use linking words like “because” or “so”.

예시: I prefer fashion advertisements because I enjoy buying new clothes and keeping up with current trends. For example, a commercial showing a seasonal collection helps me decide what styles to try next.

제안: Make a straightforward statement about frequency, then give one clear specific example of where ads appear and why they are annoying. Avoid unclear or invented phrases and keep to 2 sentences. Use linking words such as “for example” and “because.”

예시: Yes, I see advertisements very often on my phone and laptop. For example, pop-up ads and sponsored posts appear when I browse social media, and they are annoying because they interrupt what I am reading.

× So I remember that when I was young, I enjoyed watching like advertisements on like ice creams because I was the ice cream lover when I was young and I am sweet soup.

✓ I remember that when I was young, I enjoyed watching ice cream advertisements because I loved ice cream.

The sentence uses awkward pronouns and redundant phrases ('the ice cream lover', 'I am sweet soup' unclear). Simplify pronoun use and remove repetition. Use 'loved' to match past time frame and 'ice cream advertisements' as a clear noun phrase. Grammar problem type ID:12

× So I really enjoy watching ice cream advertisements.

✓ I really enjoyed watching ice cream advertisements.

The context is past (when I was young), so verb tense should be past simple. Using present 'enjoy' conflicts with the time reference 'when I was young'. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Gas Galaxy many advantage bands go to like BTS sky train system so there is like the small squeegee on television that will like play the advertisements and you sit and.

✓ Many advertisement banners for Gas Galaxy appear in the BTS sky train system, and small screens play their advertisements while you sit.

Original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Rearranged into subject-verb-object structure: 'Many advertisement banners ... appear' and 'small screens play their advertisements'. Removed filler words and completed the final clause for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:26

× So it depends on the advertisement. If it will lead to my interest, I would prefer to watch it but if not I'll buy this. Quite annoying. When do what advertisements prevent like advertisements about Indian restaurants?

✓ It depends on the advertisement. If it interests me, I prefer to watch it, but if not, I will ignore it. Some advertisements, such as those for restaurants, can be quite annoying.

Pronoun and modal misuse: 'lead to my interest' is unnatural — use 'interest me'. 'I'll buy this' is incorrect contextually; likely 'ignore it'. The fragmented question was unclear; rewritten to convey meaning. Adjusted verb forms and pronouns for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:12

× Well, I do prefer watching the fashion advertisement because I love and enjoy buying some new outfits and want to follow the new trains at the moment.

✓ I prefer fashion advertisements because I enjoy buying new outfits and want to follow the new trends at the moment.

Pronoun and word choice errors: 'watching the fashion advertisement' should be 'fashion advertisements' (plural). 'Love and enjoy buying some new outfits' is redundant — use 'enjoy buying new outfits'. 'Trains' is a typo for 'trends'. Grammar problem type ID:12

× So therefore advertisements relating to fashion industry help me to improve and follow the trend.

✓ Advertisements related to the fashion industry help me keep up with trends.

Article and phrasing errors: use 'the fashion industry' (definite article) and 'keep up with trends' is a more natural expression than 'improve and follow the trend'. Grammar problem type ID:17

× I see them quite a lot when I'm exploring my own life. iPhone throughout.

✓ I see them quite a lot when I'm using my phone or browsing online.

Original contains unclear fragments ('exploring my own life. iPhone throughout.'). Align with typical context: 'using my phone' or 'browsing online'. Use present continuous for habitual actions happening now. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Like sociopaths form like instrument tiptoe. They always ask for type names just pop up into my screens so it's quite annoying sometimes.

✓ Pop-up ads frequently appear on my screen and ask for personal information, which is quite annoying sometimes.

Original uses incorrect words ('sociopaths', 'instrument tiptoe') likely from mistranscription. Rewritten to convey intended meaning: 'pop-up ads' that 'ask for personal information'. Clarified sentence structure and corrected noun usage. Grammar problem type ID:26}]}