Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and add one specific detail about the ad or your reaction. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., 'but', 'however'). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

예시: When I was a child I remember a smartwatch ad on my mother’s phone that caught my eye. The bright colors and large display looked exciting, so I decided to buy it; however, when the parcel arrived the watch looked much smaller and cheaper than in the ad.

제안: Answer directly, fix tense and word choice, and give one clear example of what you often see. Avoid redundancy and long awkward phrases.

예시: Yes, I often see many adverts on buses and trains, usually posters on the walls and leaflets left on seats. For example, I regularly notice ads for mobile plans and local shops placed on train carriage walls.

제안: State your opinion clearly, use simpler grammar, and provide one specific reason and example. Remove repetitive phrases and ensure sentences flow with linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

예시: Yes, I like advertisements because they keep me informed about new products and job opportunities. For example, if I want to buy a phone I check ads and reviews to compare prices and features.

제안: Clarify vocabulary and correct errors (e.g., 'about paid or free classes', not 'pain'). Give two clear examples and link them with 'also' or 'in addition'. Avoid negative phrasing like 'hopeless towards'.

예시: As a student I prefer academic ads about paid or free courses because they help me find useful classes. I also like clothing ads because they show new styles and discounts.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and one specific example of the type of ads you see online. Correct grammar (e.g., 'on my phone or computer', 'help me learn about a product’s features'). Avoid trailing sentences; finish your thought.

예시: Yes, I often see many ads on my phone and computer, especially banner ads and short videos. For example, video ads on YouTube explain a gadget’s features and user reviews, which helps me decide whether to buy it.

× Yes, I saw advertisement on my mother's mobile when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I saw an advertisement on my mother's mobile when I was a child.

The noun 'advertisement' is countable and singular here, so it needs the indefinite article 'an' before it because it begins with a vowel sound. Use 'an advertisement' instead of 'advertisement'. Suggestion: Use 'a' or 'an' with singular countable nouns: 'an advertisement'.

× It was a smart watch advertisement.

✓ It was a smartwatch advertisement.

Compound nouns like 'smartwatch' are commonly written as one word. No article change is required here if referring to the advertisement itself. Suggestion: Combine commonly fused compound nouns: 'smartwatch'.

× The size and the colour attracts me very much.

✓ The size and the colour attracted me very much.

Subject 'The size and the colour' is plural, so the verb should be plural in present or past context. The rest of the narrative is past ('I saw'), so use past tense 'attracted'. Also remove 'the' before colour and size isn't necessary but acceptable. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and match verb to plural subject: 'attracted'.

× Although I decided to buy it but when the I received the parcel it was not same as it appears in the advertisement.

✓ Although I decided to buy it, when I received the parcel it was not the same as it appeared in the advertisement.

This sentence incorrectly combines 'although' with 'but' (redundant conjunctions) and mixes tenses. Remove 'but' after 'although', add comma, use past tense 'appeared' to match 'received', and include the definite article 'the' before 'same'. Also remove extra 'the' before 'I'. Suggestion: Do not use 'although' and 'but' together; keep consistent past tense and include articles: 'it was not the same as it appeared'.

× Yes, whenever I travel by the public transport like trains or buses, I used to see different types of advertisements through the posters and pamphlets which are strict on the buses or the other transports or which are thrown on the floor.

✓ Yes, whenever I traveled by public transport like trains or buses, I used to see different types of advertisements on posters and pamphlets that are stuck on the buses or other vehicles or that are thrown on the floor.

Use 'traveled' to match past habitual 'used to'. 'By the public transport' should be 'by public transport' or 'on public transport'. 'Through the posters' is wrong; use 'on posters and pamphlets'. 'Strict' is incorrect; likely 'stuck' (attached) is intended. 'Other transports' should be 'other vehicles'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('on posters', 'on public transport') and correct word choice ('stuck').

× Yes, I like it advertisement as they are very helpful for me to be updated about the things which are new in the market and the information regarding the specific matters such as the jobs or customer services.

✓ Yes, I like advertisements as they are very helpful for keeping me updated about new things in the market and information regarding specific matters such as jobs or customer services.

Pronoun and noun agreement: 'it advertisement' is incorrect; use plural 'advertisements' to match 'they'. 'To be updated' is awkward; use 'for keeping me updated' or 'help me stay updated'. Remove unnecessary 'the' before plural nouns like 'jobs' and 'customer services'. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree with nouns and use natural verb patterns: 'advertisements... they help me stay updated'.

× For example, if I want to buy something, a product or want to apply for a job, so I will prefer to have advertisement.

✓ For example, if I want to buy a product or apply for a job, I would look for advertisements.

Remove redundant conjunctions and correct article use: 'a product' not 'something, a product'. 'So' is unnecessary after the conditional clause. Use 'would look for' or 'prefer to see' instead of 'prefer to have advertisement'. Use plural 'advertisements'. Suggestion: Simplify conditionals: 'If I want X, I would look for Y.'

× As I'm a student, I like the advertisement regarding the academics because they help me to stay updated for the pain or free classes.

✓ As I'm a student, I like advertisements about academics because they help me stay updated about paid or free classes.

Use plural 'advertisements' to match 'they'. 'Regarding the academics' is awkward; use 'about academics'. 'Stay updated for the pain' is incorrect—likely 'paid' was intended. Use 'about paid or free classes'. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'help me'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('about') and check word choice ('paid' vs 'pain').

× Moreover, I like the advertisement related to the clothing as I am very hopeless towards the outfits.

✓ Moreover, I like advertisements related to clothing as I am very picky about outfits.

'Hopeless towards' is inappropriate; likely meant 'hopeless' vs 'picky'. Use 'picky about' or 'particular about'. Use plural 'advertisements' and no 'the' before 'clothing'. Suggestion: Choose accurate adjectives and correct preposition: 'picky about'.

× Yes, I like to see advertisement whenever I am watching mobile or computer as it helps me to build more knowledge about the product or services.

✓ Yes, I like to see advertisements whenever I am using my mobile or computer as they help me learn more about products or services.

Use plural 'advertisements' and correct verbs: 'using my mobile or computer' is more natural than 'watching'. Match plural subject 'advertisements' with 'they' and plural 'products or services'. 'Build more knowledge' is awkward; use 'learn more'. Suggestion: Use plural forms and natural collocations: 'learn more about products or services'.

× Apart from this, it also helps me to discover the product and the informative knowledge about the functions and the.

✓ Apart from this, it also helps me discover products and learn useful information about their functions.

Original sentence is incomplete and has articles errors ('the product', 'the informative knowledge', trailing 'and the.'). Make nouns plural to match general meaning, remove redundant articles, and complete the idea: 'learn useful information about their functions.' Suggestion: Avoid dangling phrases and ensure sentences are complete and pluralize when speaking generally.