Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: まず、冒頭で質問に対する明確な主題文を簡潔に述べましょう（例: “Yes, one advertisement impressed me.”）。その後で具体的な詳細（どの広告か、どんな音楽だったか、なぜ印象に残ったか）を1〜2文で付け加えてください。つなぎ言葉（because, for example, so）を使って文の流れを自然に保ち、冗長な表現（“I was into watching movies. Therefore I could see a lot of advertisement”のような繰り返し）を避けてください。語彙は“unique music”を拡張して“memorable jingle”や“catchy tune”などを使うと良いです。

예시: Yes — one TV advertisement stuck with me from my childhood. It featured a catchy jingle with a children’s choir, and because the tune repeated several times, I could hum it for years. For example, the ad used bright colors and a simple slogan, so it became easy to remember.

제안: 冒頭で簡潔に答え（Yes, there are many ads on public transport.）を述べ、その理由を明確に説明してください。重複語（“my my”）や口ごもり（“admittedly”は不要に聞こえる場合がある）を避け、つなぎ言葉（but, because, however）で論理をつなげましょう。具体例（どの車内広告があるか、ポスターやデジタルスクリーンなど）を1文付けると内容が具体的になります。

예시: Yes, there are many advertisements on trains and buses, such as posters and digital screens. However, I usually don’t notice them because I spend most of my commute looking at my phone, so I rarely pay attention to the ads.

제안: まず直接的に答えて理由を一つか二つ挙げましょう（例: “No, because ads interrupt my videos and are often repetitive.”）。文法ミス（“it is they are sometimes too lot”）を直し、語彙を適切に使いましょう（“annoying”, “intrusive”, “repetitive”）。可能なら代案も述べる（例えば、好きな広告のタイプ）と会話が豊かになります。

예시: No, I don’t like advertisements, especially on YouTube, because they interrupt videos and are often repetitive. I find long unskippable ads particularly annoying, though I do appreciate short, creative ads that tell a story.

제안: 主題文で好みを明確に述べ、そのあとで理由を具体的に説明しましょう（例: “I like ads with music because they are catchy and memorable.”）。文を分け、接続詞（because, so, therefore）を使って論理を明確にしてください。具体例（どんな音楽、どのような広告でそれが使われているか）を加えると説得力が増します。

예시: I prefer advertisements with music because a catchy tune makes the message easier to remember. For example, commercials that use a simple jingle or a familiar melody stick in my mind and make me more likely to recall the brand.

제안: まず簡潔に答え（Yes, I often see ads on my phone and computer.）を述べ、具体的にどの種類の広告が多いか（banner, pop-up, video ads）やそれがなぜ不快かを一つか二つの理由で説明してください。口ごもりや重複（“I basically I always use my my phone”）をなくし、文を論理的につなぐ表現（so, which makes, because）を使ってください。

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone and computer, especially banner and video ads. They annoy me because they interrupt what I’m doing, and autoplay videos in particular use a lot of data and are hard to skip.

× Yes, actually, when I was a child, I was into watching movies. Therefore I could see a lot of advertisement on the TV. Especially I'm a big fan of advertisement with unique music.

✓ Yes, actually, when I was a child, I enjoyed watching movies. Therefore I saw a lot of advertisements on TV. I was especially a big fan of advertisements with unique music.

The original sentences mix tense and use uncountable/singular forms incorrectly. 'Was into watching' is informal; use 'enjoyed watching' for clearer past habit. 'Could see a lot of advertisement' should be past simple 'saw' and 'advertisements' (plural). 'On the TV' is better as 'on TV'. Also 'Especially I'm a big fan of advertisement with unique music' shifts to present; keep past: 'I was especially a big fan of advertisements with unique music.' Suggestion: keep consistent past tense for childhood descriptions and use plural count nouns where appropriate.

× Yes, admittedly there are a lot of advertisements on the train. However, I hardly ever see them because I always concentrate on watching my my phone.

✓ Yes, admittedly there are a lot of advertisements on trains. However, I hardly ever notice them because I am always focused on looking at my phone.

'On the train' can be acceptable, but when speaking generally use 'on trains'. 'See them' is not wrong, but 'notice them' is more natural. 'Concentrate on watching my my phone' is incorrect: we 'concentrate on something' and we 'look at' or 'use' a phone. Remove duplication 'my my'. Use present simple or present continuous depending on habitual action: 'I am always focused on looking at my phone' fits habitual annoyance. Suggestion: correct preposition/verb collocations and remove repeated words.

× No I don't, I tend to hate advertisement especially on the YouTube because it really annoys me and it is they are sometimes too lot.

✓ No, I don't. I tend to hate advertisements, especially on YouTube, because they really annoy me and sometimes there are too many of them.

Several quantifier and article issues: 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' for a general dislike. 'On the YouTube' is wrong; use 'on YouTube' (no article). 'It is they are sometimes too lot' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is 'there are too many of them' or 'they are sometimes too long/too frequent'. Use correct quantifier 'too many' for countable items. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements, omit unnecessary articles, and choose appropriate quantifier ('too many' or 'too long').

× I'm a big fan of advertisement with music they are often catchy and I can remember that easily compared with normal advertisement.

✓ I'm a big fan of advertisements with music; they are often catchy, and I can remember them more easily compared with normal advertisements.

Use plural 'advertisements' when speaking generally. Run-on sentence should be split or joined with punctuation. 'I can remember that easily' should refer to 'them' (the advertisements). 'Compared with normal advertisement' needs plural 'advertisements'. Also 'more easily' is the correct comparative adverb form. Suggestion: use correct pronoun reference and plural forms, and fix sentence boundaries.

× Yes, I basically I always use my my phone there. Therefore I ad uh advertisement on phone always annoys me so that it is too wrong.

✓ Yes, basically I always use my phone there. Therefore ads on my phone always annoy me.

Remove duplicated 'I' and 'my'. 'Ad uh advertisement on phone always annoys me so that it is too wrong' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'ads on my phone always annoy me.' 'Ads' is the plural of 'advertisement' and natural in conversation. The phrase 'so that it is too wrong' is meaningless; omit it. Suggestion: simplify to clear subject-verb-object structure, use plural 'ads', and remove filler sounds like 'uh'.