Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is natural and clear, with a direct topic sentence and a supporting detail. To improve, be more specific about the advertisement (describe the jingle or product) and avoid redundancy (two mentions of disruption). Use one or two linking words to connect ideas and keep within 4–5 sentences.

예시: I disliked TV commercials as a child because they interrupted my favorite cartoons. For example, a cereal jingle played repeatedly and was so catchy that it made me lose focus on the show. As a result, I would fast-forward or change channels whenever the ad came on.

제안: Good direct answer with clear examples and a recent reference. Improve by correcting minor language slips (e.g., 'full body rap adverts' unclear — probably 'full-body wrap adverts') and linking the examples with a connective to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, I see a lot of advertising on public transport. For example, many trains feature full-body wrap adverts and stations use digital screens to play short promotional videos. In fact, yesterday I noticed a very eye-catching advert for a new smartphone at the station.

제안: Strong balanced answer with reasons and a contrasting opinion. To improve, be more specific about what makes some ads creative (storytelling, visuals) and use a linking word such as 'however' (you used it) and 'for example' correctly. Keep sentences concise and avoid vague claims like 'the iPhone' without specifying the ad element.

예시: I generally dislike most advertisements because they can be intrusive and often exaggerate benefits. Consequently, people may buy products that fail to meet expectations. However, I do appreciate creative ads that use strong storytelling and visuals; for example, Apple’s iPhone adverts often tell a short story and use striking imagery that makes them enjoyable.

제안: Clear and specific answer with a good example. To reach a higher score, add a brief explanation of what 'thought-provoking' means in this context (e.g., emotional appeal or clever concept) and include a linking phrase to expand slightly without overlong response.

예시: I prefer creative advertisements because they are thought-provoking and memorable, often using emotional appeal or clever concepts. For example, Apple’s iPhone adverts combine original ideas and strong visuals, which make them enjoyable to watch and easy to remember.

제안: Your answer is relevant and gives examples, but contains a grammar slip ('we are browsing' should be 'I was browsing') and a small coherence issue with sentence fragments. Improve by using past simple for the example, adding a linking word (e.g., 'for instance' or 'also'), and combining short sentences for fluency.

예시: Yes, I often see ads on both my phone and computer. For instance, yesterday I was browsing short videos and came across several sponsored posts where influencers promoted different products. I also encounter repetitive commercials when I watch TV dramas.

× I remember a particular Jingle that played repeatedly and interrupted my concentration.

✓ I remember a particular jingle that played repeatedly and interrupted my concentration.

The sentence capitalized 'Jingle' unnecessarily; this is not a grammar problem from the provided list but the word should be lowercase. No verb -ing error applies, but keep capitalization consistent. Suggestion: use lowercase for common nouns ('jingle').

× For example, some trains have full body rap adverts and many buses and stations use digital screens to show short promotional videos.

✓ For example, some trains have full-body wrap adverts and many buses and stations use digital screens to show short promotional videos.

The original contains word choice and hyphenation errors: 'full body rap adverts' is likely intended as 'full-body wrap adverts'. Use a hyphen for compound adjective 'full-body' and 'wrap' (covering) rather than 'rap'. Suggestion: choose correct word ('wrap') and hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns.

× For example, just yesterday we are browsing short videos.

✓ For example, just yesterday I was browsing short videos.

Tense and subject are incorrect. 'Just yesterday' requires past tense ('was browsing'), and the speaker 'I' should match 'was' not 'we' unless referring to a group. Change subject to 'I' to match context and use past continuous for an action in progress in the past. Suggestion: use past continuous 'I was browsing' for ongoing past actions.

× They highlight the advantages and ignore the drawbacks, so people sometimes buy products that don't meet their expectations.

✓ They highlight the advantages and ignore the drawbacks, so people sometimes buy products that don't meet their expectations.

No change needed; sentence shows correct subject-verb agreement. Included here only to confirm it meets the list and needs no correction.

× And I also get repetitive commercials when I watch TV dramas.

✓ I also get repetitive commercials when I watch TV dramas.

Beginning the sentence with 'And' is informal and unnecessary. Removing 'And' makes the sentence grammatically cleaner. Pronoun use 'I' is correct. Suggestion: avoid starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions in formal speech.