Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Good content and personal feeling — keep sentences clear and reduce redundancy. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (what the ad showed, and how it made you feel). Use linking words like “because” and “so” sparingly and check small grammar points (e.g., “the homeless” → “homeless people”; “in my primary years” → “when I was in primary school”).

예시: Topic sentence: “Yes — I remember a charity advertisement from a fast-food company when I was in primary school.” Supporting detail: “It showed staff giving meals to homeless people, which made me feel inspired because it highlighted kindness and helping others without expecting anything in return.” Closing: “That ad stayed with me and shaped how I think about generosity.”

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific example and a concise reason. Correct small mistakes: “I often saw them every day” or “I see them every day”; use ‘attract a large audience’ instead of ‘huge audience’.

예시: Topic sentence: “Yes — advertising on transport is very common in my city.” Supporting detail: “On BTS trains in Bangkok I see ads almost every day, such as posters and video screens.” Reason (linked): “Because many people commute, companies use this space to reach a large number of potential customers.”

제안: Good balanced opinion. Make it more concise and natural: one topic sentence, one supporting reason for liking ads, one for disliking them, with linking words like ‘however’ or ‘but’. Use correct phrasing: ‘on Facebook or YouTube’ and ‘it breaks the flow of the video’.

예시: Topic sentence: “I don't mind ads in general, but it depends on the context.” Like reason: “When I'm shopping, ads help me choose products more easily.” Contrast: “However, ads interrupt the flow when they pop up during a video on Facebook or YouTube, which I find annoying.”

제안: Clear preference and reason — make it slightly more specific and grammatical: use singular/plural agreement (‘commercials that involve food’). Limit to 2–3 sentences and add a concrete example of a specific dish or restaurant type to be more vivid.

예시: Topic sentence: “I prefer food commercials.” Supporting detail: “They inspire me to try new dishes — for example, a recent ad for a fusion restaurant made me want to try their spicy seafood bowl.” Closing: “So food ads give me concrete ideas of where to eat.”

제안: Good direct answer and reason. Make wording more natural and concise: say ‘on my phone, especially on social media’ and avoid redundant phrases like ‘people make use of social media most of the time’. Provide one short example of an ad type (e.g., sponsored posts or banner ads).

예시: Topic sentence: “Yes — I often see ads on my phone, especially on social media.” Supporting detail: “Brands use sponsored posts and video ads to promote products because many people spend a lot of time on apps like Facebook and Instagram, so these ads reach a broad audience.”

× Yes, when I was in my primary years, I remember I saw an advertisement about a fast food promoting charity by giving food to homeless.

✓ Yes, when I was in my primary years, I remember seeing an advertisement about a fast-food chain promoting a charity by giving food to the homeless.

Incorrect verb form sequence: 'I remember I saw' is awkward; use 'I remember seeing' to link memory with past event. Also 'fast food' as noun needs 'fast-food chain' as modifier and 'the homeless' needs definite article. Suggestion: Use 'remember + -ing' for recalling past events and add articles for specificity. (English (Philippines))

× I think it was a very nice move because it encourages the child in me to be helpful to others by doing something without expecting a return.

✓ I think it was a very nice move because it encouraged the child in me to be helpful to others by doing something without expecting a return.

Tense inconsistency: main clause is past 'was', so the subordinate verb should match past perspective; 'encourages' (present) should be 'encouraged'. Suggestion: Keep past narration consistent by using past verbs. (English (Philippines))

× Yeah, yes, it's most common in the city where I live.

✓ Yes, it's most common in the city where I live.

Stylistic redundancy rather than strict grammar: 'Yeah, yes' is repetitive. Use a single affirmative 'Yes' or 'Yeah'. Suggestion: Choose one interjection for clarity. (English (Philippines))

× For example, here in Thailand in BTS trains, I often said every day, I think they use this method to attract a huge audience because a lot of people are commuting and many will be able to watch and patronize these advertisements.

✓ For example, here in Thailand on BTS trains, I often see them every day. I think they use this method to attract a huge audience because many people commute and can see and respond to these advertisements.

Multiple issues: 'in BTS trains' should be 'on BTS trains' (preposition). 'I often said every day' is incorrect; intended present habit uses 'I often see them every day'. 'A lot of people are commuting' better as simple present 'many people commute' for habitual action. 'Will be able to watch and patronize' is awkward for general truth; use 'can see and respond to'. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual actions, correct prepositions, and simplify modal phrasing. (English (Philippines))

× I don't mind watching advertisements, especially when I am trying to buy something.

✓ I don't mind watching advertisements, especially when I'm trying to buy something.

Stylistic contraction only; no grammar error. Changed 'I am' to 'I'm' for natural spoken English. Suggestion: Use contractions for conversational tone. (English (Philippines))

× However, sometimes it's annoying, especially when I'm watching a movie, for example in Facebook or in YouTube and then advertisements will pop up.

✓ However, sometimes it's annoying, especially when I'm watching a movie on Facebook or YouTube and advertisements pop up.

Preposition errors: use 'on Facebook' and 'on YouTube'. Remove redundant 'then' and change 'will pop up' to simple present 'pop up' for habitual interruptions during watching. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual events and correct platform prepositions. (English (Philippines))

× It breaks the momentum of the movie and watching.

✓ It breaks the momentum of the movie and interrupts watching.

Awkward phrasing: 'breaks the momentum of the movie and watching' is unclear. Use parallel structure 'breaks the momentum of the movie and interrupts watching' or better 'interrupts the viewing experience'. Suggestion: Use clear, parallel phrases and choose nouns/verbs that match. (English (Philippines))

× I love to watch commercials that involves food because I like to try new dishes and whenever I see this type of advertisements, I have a lot of options to choose from.

✓ I love to watch commercials that involve food because I like to try new dishes, and whenever I see this type of advertisement, I have a lot of options to choose from.

Subject-verb agreement: 'commercials that involves' should be 'that involve' because 'commercials' is plural. 'This type of advertisements' should be 'this type of advertisement' or 'these types of advertisements' for number agreement. Suggestion: Match singular/plural forms and ensure relative verbs agree with their subjects. (English (Philippines))

× For example, I choose different types of fast food or restaurants.

✓ For example, I choose different types of fast food or different restaurants.

Parallel and clarity issue: 'different types of fast food or restaurants' mixes categories. Make parallel by 'different types of fast food or different restaurants' or 'different fast-food restaurants'. Suggestion: Keep parallel structure and appropriate hyphenation for 'fast-food'. (English (Philippines))

× Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone, especially when I open my social media.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone, especially when I open my social media apps.

Minor clarity: 'social media' as uncountable is okay, but specify 'social media apps' for phones. No major tense error. Suggestion: Add 'apps' for precise meaning when referring to phone usage. (English (Philippines))

× I think it's one way of business owners to promote their products because people make use of social media most of the time, so it will attract the general audience.

✓ I think it's one way for business owners to promote their products because people use social media most of the time, so it attracts a wide audience.

Preposition: use 'for business owners' not 'of business owners'. 'Make use of' is wordy; use 'use'. Replace 'will attract' with present 'attracts' for general truth and 'general audience' with 'wide audience' for natural collocation. Suggestion: Use 'for' after 'one way' and prefer concise verbs for natural speech. (English (Philippines))