Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific details (which game, what about the ad was memorable), and use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes — I remember a TV advertisement for a video game called Super Adventure. The ad stuck in my mind because it had bright colours and a catchy jingle that I couldn’t stop humming. As a child, that commercial made me want the game because it showed exciting scenes of exploration.

제안: Give a direct answer then provide two clear, specific examples. Remove filler words and hesitations, and use a linking phrase to add details (for example, "for instance" or "for example").

예시: Yes, I do. For example, on the subway I often notice medical clinic posters and adverts for baby products. These posters usually appear near doors and seats, so they catch people’s attention during the journey.

제안: Answer directly and expand with reasons. State your preference, then explain why you like or dislike certain ads using linking words like "because" or "since." Avoid filler words and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: It depends on the ad; I like advertisements about travel and fitness because they inspire me to try new places or improve my health. I don’t enjoy ads for baby products because they are not relevant to me and feel repetitive.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence listing one or two preferred types, then give a brief reason for each. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "for instance") and avoid fillers.

예시: I prefer advertisements about travel and makeup. For instance, travel ads often show beautiful destinations that inspire me to plan trips, while makeup ads highlight new products and looks that I might want to try.

제안: Answer concisely and explain with a specific example. Remove repetitions and casual fillers. Use linking words like "especially" or "for example," and explain why they are annoying or how you cope with them.

예시: Yes, especially when I use my laptop. For example, pop-up ads often appear when I open a website and interrupt what I’m doing, which I find very annoying, so I usually install an ad blocker to reduce them.

× I still remember 1 of video games advertisement made me remember for a while.

✓ I still remember one of the video game advertisements that stayed with me for a while.

The original mixes singular and plural incorrectly: '1 of video games advertisement' is ungrammatical. Use 'one of the' + plural noun ('video game advertisements') or rephrase. Also add relative clause 'that stayed with me' to clarify meaning. Use 'video game' as a compound noun modifying 'advertisements'. Suggestion: use 'one of the video game advertisements' or 'a video game advertisement' and include a clear verb phrase like 'stayed with me'.

× Yeah, to be honest, yes, I see lots of, you know, different advertisement, uh, on public, uh, umm, like uh, hospital related advertisement or baby products, Yeah.

✓ Yeah, to be honest, I see lots of different advertisements in public, like hospital-related ads or ones for baby products.

Problems: 'lots of' should modify a plural noun ('advertisements'), not the singular 'advertisement'. 'On public' is incorrect preposition; use 'in public'. 'hospital related advertisement' needs a hyphen ('hospital-related') and plural 'ads' or 'advertisements'. Also remove filler words. Suggestion: use 'lots of different advertisements in public'.

× Uh, to be honest, it really depends on what type of advertisement. I prefer advertisement related traveling or gym, you know, I don't like uh, it related to baby stuff.

✓ To be honest, it really depends on the type of advertisement. I prefer advertisements related to travel or gyms; I don't like those related to baby products.

Use 'the type' rather than 'what type'. 'Advertisement' should be plural when speaking generally: 'advertisements'. 'related traveling or gym' is incorrect; use 'related to travel or gyms' or 'travel and fitness'. 'it related to baby stuff' uses wrong pronoun and form; use 'those related to baby products'.

× Uh, I like advertisement about, uh, traveling or makeup or gym, Yeah.

✓ I like advertisements about traveling, makeup, or the gym.

Use plural 'advertisements' when referring to types generally. 'gym' should be 'the gym' as a general activity or 'gym-related' as an adjective. Also remove fillers. Suggestion: 'advertisements about traveling, makeup, or the gym.'

× Yes, I had said yes, uh, especially on my laptop, uh, usually I want to click on the website and the advertisement sadly show up.

✓ Yes, I said yes. Especially on my laptop, I often click on a website and the advertisements sadly show up.

'I had said yes' uses past perfect unnecessarily; simple past 'I said yes' is appropriate. 'Usually I want to click on the website' is awkward; use 'I often click on a website'. 'the advertisement sadly show up' has subject-verb agreement and article issues: plural 'advertisements' with verb 'show up' (third-person plural) is correct. Also remove filler words. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions: 'I often click on a website and ads show up.'