Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答有主题，但表达不够简洁连贯，部分句子语法和用词不准确。建议： 1) 开头直接给出主题句，避免无意义的语气词（如 “Sigh”）。 2) 使用连接词使句子衔接更自然，例如 because / which made / so that。 3) 改正语法和词序问题，使用更恰当的词汇（e.g. “brand shoe advertisement” -> “a shoe brand advertisement”）。 4) 保持句子数量在3–4句内，提供一两个具体细节说明为什么印象深刻（颜色、音乐、情感反应）。

예시: I remember a shoe brand advertisement from my childhood because it was very colorful and creative. It showed many children laughing and dancing, which made the advert feel joyful and memorable. The upbeat music and bright costumes caught my attention and made me want those shoes.

제안: 回答含糊且结构混乱，有许多填充词和语法错误。建议： 1) 直接回答问题（Yes/No/It depends），随后用一至两句具体说明地点和原因。 2) 避免重复和多余的短语，清晰区分不同媒介（buses, trains, billboards）。 3) 使用连接词（for example, because, such as）让陈述更连贯。

예시: Yes. I often see many advertisements on buses and billboards along the streets. For example, bus sides usually carry colorful ads, and billboards near stations are informative and eye-catching.

제안: 回答总体明确并包含对比，但有口头语干扰和重复。建议： 1) 去掉重复和填充词，直接表达观点。 2) 用连接词（however, but）更自然地表达对比。 3) 可补充一两个具体原因，例如“interrupts enjoyment”或“useful information”。

예시: I like some advertisements, but it depends on the situation. When I'm walking outside, colorful ads can be pleasant and informative. However, I dislike ads interrupting a movie because they spoil the experience.

제안: 表达意图清楚，但句子冗长且有重复（inside of just ...). 语法和词序需简化。建议： 1) 用一句主题句直接回答（I prefer…）。 2) 用一两句举例或解释为何喜欢信息型广告（they explain features, show usage）。 3) 避免重复短语，使用准确搭配（focus on product details, rather than just persuading people to buy）。

예시: I prefer informative advertisements that explain product features rather than just trying to persuade people to buy. For instance, a tech ad that shows how a phone's camera works is more helpful to me.

제안: 回答混乱，含有许多语法错误和语音填充，缺乏清晰结构。建议： 1) 先直接回答（Yes），然后分两部分说明手机和电脑上的情况。 2) 使用明确句子描述频率和形式（e.g. many short video ads, banner ads on websites）。 3) 注意时态和单复数，用简单句避免出错。

예시: Yes. I often see many short video ads on my phone, especially when I scroll social media. On my computer I usually encounter banner ads and pop-ups on websites.

× I was attracted to a brand shoe advertisement.

✓ I was attracted to a brand's shoe advertisement.

原句“brand shoe”用法不自然，應使用所有格或形容詞形式表達“某個品牌的鞋子”。中文建議：把“brand”改為“brand's”或使用“branded”或“a shoe advertisement from a brand”。

× It was the first time seeing such colorful and creative advertisement.

✓ It was the first time I had seen such a colorful and creative advertisement.

原句缺少主語和正確時態表達。應使用“the first time + 過去完成”結構來表達在過去某一時刻之前未曾發生的經驗。中文建議：使用“the first time I had seen...”來表示“那是我第一次見到...” 。

× I saw many kids were laughing and dancing, which makes the brand shoe more.

✓ I saw many kids laughing and dancing, which made the brand's shoes more appealing.

原句中時態和主謂一致不當。“saw”是過去時，關係子句應用過去時“made”。另外“brand shoe”要改為“brand's shoes”，且“more”後需有形容詞如“appealing”。中文建議：保持過去時一致，並補全形容詞，如“made the brand's shoes more appealing”。

× I think, umm, I will be able to see most advertisements on like buses are uh, on board of the buildings when I walk along the streets because those are the most colorful and the informative advertisements I can say.

✓ I think I see most advertisements on buses and on the sides of buildings when I walk along the streets, because those are the most colorful and informative advertisements, I would say.

原句時態和句子結構混亂。應使用一般現在時描述常態（I see），去掉多餘詞“will be able to”。“on board of the buildings”不地道，改為“on the sides of buildings”。中文建議：用一般現在時表達習慣性動作，簡化冗長片語。

× If I'm just walking along the streets, I think, uh, it's no harm to watch some colorful and appealing advertisement.

✓ If I'm just walking along the streets, I think it's harmless to watch some colorful and appealing advertisements.

原句中“no harm to watch”表達不自然，應用“it's harmless to...”或“there's no harm in...”並且“advertisement”用複數更自然。中文建議：使用“it's harmless to”或“there's no harm in”並將名詞改為複數以匹配泛指。

× But if I'm watching a movie or TV series, I don't like to watch any advertisements.

✓ But if I'm watching a movie or a TV series, I don't like to see any advertisements.

動詞搭配更自然的是“see advertisements”而非“watch any advertisements”。中文建議：觀看影視劇時用“see”或“watch ads”但“watch advertisements”常指主動觀看廣告內容，這裡用“see”。

× I prefer advertisements which are more informative and focusing on the details of their products inside of just pursuing people to buy it inside of just promoting their products.

✓ I prefer advertisements that are more informative and focus on the details of their products, rather than just trying to persuade people to buy or merely promoting the products.

原句形容詞/分詞用法混亂，應保持平行結構：use adjectives/clauses with相同形式（informative and focus → 改為informative and focus 或 informative and focusing，但兩者需平行）。此外“pursuing people to buy it”不地道，改為“trying to persuade people to buy”。中文建議：保持並列結構平行，改為“that are more informative and focus on... rather than just trying to persuade...” 。

× I think I can see advertisement put on my phone and my computer, but I different times when I use it, when I he when I screw on the short videos on my phone, there are a lot of advert advertisements that I have to see, but every time I open my computer I can see advertise.

✓ I think I can see advertisements on my phone and my computer. At different times when I use them, for example when I scroll through short videos on my phone, there are a lot of adverts that I have to watch. Also, every time I open my computer I see ads.

原句語序混亂，代詞不一致（it/them），單複數和詞形錯誤（advert/advertisements/ads），動詞時態用一般現在時描述習慣。建議將句子拆分為幾個簡短句，統一代詞為“them”，並使用常見詞彙“scroll through”與“ads/advertisements”。 中文建議：把長句拆成幾句，統一代詞和名詞單複數，使用“scroll through short videos”與“ads”。