Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and incorrect grammar (e.g. "I didn't watch much TV" not "didn't watch much TV when I was a child" is fine but follow with correct verb forms). Keep to 2–3 sentences and replace questions with statements.

예시: I can't remember any particular advertisement from my childhood because I rarely watched TV. I was usually studying or practicing the piano after school, so I didn't pay attention to commercials.

제안: Good direct answer and example. Improve coherence by using linking words and more precise vocabulary (e.g. "on flights" not "by flight"). Add one brief comment about frequency or impact to enrich the response.

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements on trains and flights. For example, during business trips I notice many ads for financial products, like trading apps and wealth-management platforms, which makes me more aware of investment services.

제안: The answer is thoughtful but a little unclear and grammatically incorrect. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give two contrasting reasons using linking words (e.g. "however", "on the other hand"). Clarify "without ESG" by saying "without considering social or environmental responsibility." Use shorter, clearer phrases.

예시: It depends. I dislike many ads because they distract people and sometimes promote products without regard for social or environmental responsibility; however, I appreciate ads that are well-designed and promote genuinely useful products, such as Apple's aesthetic campaigns.

제안: Your answer starts well but is incomplete. Provide a clear topic sentence, then two specific criteria with supporting reasons and an example. Avoid unfinished sentences. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer advertisements for products that benefit society and families rather than harm them. For instance, I dislike ads for alcohol or tobacco no matter how attractive they look. I also like ads that explain practical benefits clearly, such as those for public health campaigns.

제안: Answer the question directly, then give a concise example. Correct grammar (e.g. "platforms buy our data" not "purchase our data") and avoid trailing off. Use linking words like "for example" and finish the thought about the effect of those ads.

예시: Yes, I see many ads on my phone and computer because many platforms buy user data to target promotions. For example, when I scroll short videos I often get ads from Taobao or JD.com for products related to my interests, which can be annoying.

× Sorry, I couldn't remember any for now because I didn't watch much TV when I was a child.

✓ Sorry, I couldn't remember any just now because I didn't watch much TV when I was a child.

The speaker uses 'for now' which is present-focused and conflicts with 'couldn't remember' about the immediate past; 'just now' or 'at the moment' fits better for a recent inability to recall. Also 'couldn't remember' is correct past/modal; changing the time adverb resolves the temporal mismatch. Suggestion: Use time expressions that match the tense (e.g., 'just now', 'at the moment').

× There was lots of homework, I always study or played the piano.

✓ There was a lot of homework; I always studied or played the piano.

This sentence mixes past and present tense ('was' and 'study'). Because the context describes childhood (past), verbs should be in the past (studied, played). Also 'lots of' should be 'a lot of' in more formal writing. Use consistent past tense for past-time narration and correct quantifier form. Suggestion: Keep verb tense consistent (past) when talking about past routines.

× That's why I didn't remember anything worth to share?

✓ That's why I didn't remember anything worth sharing.

The phrase 'worth to share' is ungrammatical; 'worth' should be followed by a gerund ('sharing'). Also the sentence is a statement, not a question, so the question mark is incorrect. Use 'worth sharing' for the correct structure. Suggestion: Use 'worth' + gerund and match punctuation to sentence type.

× Oh yes, I think I have watched some advertisements on trains and on airplanes.

✓ Oh yes, I think I have seen some advertisements on trains and airplanes.

When referring to having observed ads in general, 'have seen' is more natural than 'have watched' because advertisements are typically seen rather than watched as programs. Also 'on airplanes' is sufficient without 'on' repeated. Use present perfect 'have seen' for life experience. Suggestion: Use verbs that match the action (see ads) and avoid redundant prepositions.

× For example, during the business travel by flight, I noticed that there are some advertisements about financial products such as trading app and also wealth management platforms.

✓ For example, during business flights, I noticed advertisements for financial products such as trading apps and wealth-management platforms.

The original has awkward prepositions and article use: 'during the business travel by flight' is unnatural; 'during business flights' or 'on business flights' is better. Use 'advertisements for' rather than 'about' for promotion, pluralize 'trading app' to 'trading apps' and hyphenate 'wealth-management'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('on business flights', 'advertisements for') and correct plural forms.

× Well, it depends.

✓ Well, it depends.

No grammatical error; sentence is correct and appropriate as a standalone reply. No change needed.

× Sometimes I hate advertisements because they serve as distractions and earn people's money without ESG, but some other times if I really feel the products are good in the advertisements have aesthetic value, such as Apple product ads.

✓ Sometimes I hate advertisements because they are distracting and take people's money without considering ESG, but other times I like them if the products seem good or the advertisements have aesthetic value, such as Apple product ads.

Original sentence has multiple structural issues: awkward phrase 'serve as distractions and earn people's money without ESG', incorrect clause linking 'but some other times if...' and missing punctuation. Split into two balanced clauses joined by 'but' and use clear verbs: 'are distracting', 'take people's money', 'without considering ESG', 'I like them if...' Also 'Apple product ads' can be 'Apple ads' or 'Apple product ads'. Suggestion: Break complex ideas into clearer clauses and use parallel structure.

× Well, firstly, the products themselves must be beneficial for the society rather than hurting the families and communities.

✓ Firstly, the products themselves must be beneficial to society rather than harmful to families and communities.

Use 'beneficial to society' (not 'for the society') and prefer 'harmful to' rather than 'hurting'. Also remove redundant 'the' before 'society'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions with nouns like 'beneficial to' and choose concise adjectives ('harmful').

× If they are advertisements for wines and cigarettes, no matter how beautiful the ads are, I would just hate them.

✓ If the advertisements are for wine or cigarettes, no matter how beautiful they are, I would hate them.

Use uncountable 'wine' rather than 'wines' in this context; 'would just hate' is informal—'would hate' is sufficient. Sentence structure is otherwise fine. Suggestion: Use uncountable nouns when referring to a product category (wine) and avoid unnecessary adverbs.

× Second, they must be.

✓ Second, they must be ethical and socially responsible.

The original sentence is incomplete ('they must be.'), leaving the idea unfinished. Provide a complete predicate explaining the requirement (e.g., ethical and socially responsible) to finish the thought. Suggestion: Always complete sentences with a clear predicate; avoid leaving clauses hanging.

× I have to say yes, because I guess a lot of platforms just to purchase our data and spread this information.

✓ I have to say yes, because I guess a lot of platforms buy our data and use it to spread information.

The clause 'just to purchase our data' lacks a verb for the platforms; use 'buy' to show action. 'Spread this information' is clearer as 'use it to spread information.' Keep present tense for general truths. 'Just' was unnecessary and unclear. Suggestion: Ensure each clause has a main verb and keep tense consistent for habitual actions.

× For example, whenever I want to scroll some short videos, advertisement from Jingdong or Taobao or other sales platform would promote some products which really?

✓ For example, whenever I scroll short videos, advertisements from Jingdong, Taobao, or other sales platforms promote products that I might be interested in.

Original sentence has several issues: 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'; 'or other sales platform' should be 'other sales platforms'; 'would promote some products which really?' is unfinished and unclear. Use a clear relative clause ('that I might be interested in') to finish the thought and match habitual present tense. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for general statements, complete relative clauses, and maintain consistent present tense for habitual actions.