Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不自然的问题，建议简化句子结构，避免重复和多余的填充词，并且注意时态和冠词的使用。

예시: One advertisement that impressed me as a child was a jury's commercial. It featured classical music and showed two people dancing gracefully. This ad left a deep impression on me.

제안: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不够流畅，建议使用更准确的词汇和句型，避免重复和语法错误。

예시: Yes, I often see many advertisements on trains and other public transport. I think it's a good way for companies to promote their products and earn money.

제안: 回答表达混乱，语法错误严重，建议先明确表达观点，再用简单句子支持观点，避免使用错误的代词和时态。

예시: Yes, I like advertisements if they show products that I need and find useful. Otherwise, I ignore them and don't buy those products.

제안: 回答较好，但句子结构和连接词使用不够自然，建议使用更地道的表达和连接词使内容更连贯。

예시: I like lively and relatable advertisements because they connect well with real life. For example, ads that show how a product solves everyday problems can attract more customers.

제안: 回答中语法和表达不清晰，建议简化句子，明确表达观点，并注意词汇的准确使用。

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements when I use my phone or laptop to watch videos or research. Sometimes, these ads annoy me and affect my concentration.

× When I was a child, one advertisement would really make an impression for me was the jury's advertisement.

✓ When I was a child, one advertisement that really made an impression on me was the jury's advertisement.

这里时态应使用过去时，因为描述的是过去的事情。原句中使用了“would really make”，不符合过去事实陈述，应改为“really made”。

× one advertisement would really make an impression for me

✓ one advertisement would really make an impression on me

固定搭配是“make an impression on someone”，不能用“for me”。

× It used the classic music as a background and where there were two people dancing gracefully on the floor.

✓ It used classic music as background and showed two people dancing gracefully on the floor.

“use music as background”是固定表达，前面不加冠词“the”。另外，原句中“where there were”结构不合适，应改为“showed”。

× It's very often I see many advertisements on the trains or many like the public transportations.

✓ I very often see many advertisements on trains or other public transport.

“trains”前不加定冠词“the”，因为泛指多辆火车；“public transportations”错误，public transport是不可数名词，不用复数。

× I think it's a good way for the firms to shows their product and gain money on it.

✓ I think it's a good way for firms to show their products and make money from it.

主语是复数“firms”，动词应用原形“show”；“gain money on it”表达不自然，改为“make money from it”。

× it really depends on the what he's describing at the advertisement.

✓ it really depends on what it is describing in the advertisement.

“the what”错误，应去掉“the”；“he's”指代不明，广告应用“it”；“at the advertisement”应改为“in the advertisement”。

× If the product I really needed and useful for me, I very like it that films can get money.

✓ If the product is really needed and useful for me, I like it very much and the ads can make money.

缺少动词“is”；“I very like it”错误，应为“I like it very much”；“films”应为“ads”或“advertisements”。

× If the things I don't like it and re really unuseful for me, I would don't buy it and the film cannot earn money.

✓ If the things are things I don't like and are really useless for me, I wouldn't buy them and the ads cannot earn money.

“If the things I don't like it”结构错误，应补充动词“are”；“re”应为“are”；“unuseful”应为“useless”；“would don't”错误，应为“wouldn't”；“film”应为“ads”；代词应保持一致。

× I like the advertisements what are really lively and relatable, because they connected well with the real life.

✓ I like advertisements that are really lively and relatable because they connect well with real life.

关系代词应为“that”而非“what”；“connected”时态应为一般现在时“connect”；“the real life”应为“real life”，不加定冠词。

× For example, with an advertising shows how a product can solve everyday problems, can make people more interested in buying it.

✓ For example, an advertisement that shows how a product can solve everyday problems can make people more interested in buying it.

“with an advertising shows”结构错误，应改为“an advertisement that shows”；“advertising”通常指广告活动，名词用“advertisement”。

× Yes, definitely it's really often I used a smart device like laptop and my phones for watching videos, for relax is researching resources for writing and sometimes the advertisement is really make me feel angry.

✓ Yes, definitely I really often use smart devices like laptops and my phone for watching videos, relaxing, and researching resources for writing, and sometimes advertisements really make me feel angry.

“really often”位置应靠近动词；“used”时态应为一般现在时“use”；“laptop”应复数“laptops”；“phones”应单数“phone”；“for relax is researching”结构错误，应改为“relaxing, and researching”；“the advertisement is really make”应为“advertisements really make”。

× It really affect my umm efficiencies on walking or enjoying.

✓ It really affects my efficiency when walking or enjoying myself.

“affect”主语是第三人称单数，应加-s；“efficiencies”应为不可数名词“efficiency”；“on walking or enjoying”表达不自然，应改为“when walking or enjoying myself”。