Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ответ должен быть более структурированным и конкретным. Избегайте повторений и используйте связующие слова для логичности. Например, начните с утверждения, затем объясните, почему реклама произвела впечатление.

예시: Yes, I remember a TV commercial from my childhood that made a strong impression on me because it featured a famous celebrity. This advertisement influenced me due to the social pressure it created among my peers.

제안: Ответ должен быть более ясным и связным. Избегайте повторений и уточняйте детали, используя связующие слова для плавности речи.

예시: Yes, I often see many advertisements on trains, especially during events like the World Cup. These ads provide valuable advice and can influence people's decisions.

제안: Ответ должен быть более естественным и избегать повторов. Используйте связующие слова, чтобы объяснить причины вашего мнения более логично.

예시: No, I don't like advertisements because they often use persuasive tactics such as celebrity endorsements and social media ads, which can create social pressure on people.

제안: Ответ должен быть грамматически правильным и более связным. Используйте связующие слова и конкретные примеры для поддержки вашего мнения.

예시: I prefer advertisements that are important for people's lives, such as those related to health and financial matters, because they provide valuable advice and constructive feedback based on one's financial understanding.

× Yes, there were, uh, there were, uh, social media ads, TV commercials, celebrity endorsements.

✓ Yes, there were social media ads, TV commercials, and celebrity endorsements.

The original sentence repeats 'there were' unnecessarily, which is redundant. Also, listing items should be connected properly with commas and 'and' before the last item for clarity.

× I think it was social pressures and it influences.

✓ I think it was social pressure and it influences us.

'Social pressures' is plural, but 'it' is singular; pronouns must agree in number with their antecedents. Also, 'social pressure' is usually uncountable, so singular form is better here. Adding 'us' clarifies the object of 'influences'.

× Yes, I do. I face usually I face a lot of advertisements on Metro World Cups.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually face a lot of advertisements on Metro World Cups.

The phrase 'I face usually I face' is repetitive and incorrect. The adverb 'usually' should be placed before the verb 'face' for correct word order.

× There are valuable advice for me and maybe it influences people's.

✓ There is valuable advice for me and maybe it influences people.

'Advice' is uncountable and singular, so 'there is' is correct. Also, 'people's' is possessive and incomplete here; it should be 'people' as the object of 'influences'.

× No, I don't because they are persuasive marketing tactics.

✓ No, I don't like them because they are persuasive marketing tactics.

The original sentence lacks clarity; 'I don't' needs an object to specify what is disliked. Adding 'like them' clarifies the meaning.

× For example, celebrity endorsements, TV commercials, social media ads, and people suffer from social pressures from this like like advertisements.

✓ For example, celebrity endorsements, TV commercials, and social media ads. People suffer from social pressures because of advertisements like these.

The original sentence is run-on and unclear. Separating into two sentences improves clarity. Also, 'like like advertisements' is repetitive and incorrect.

× I like advertisements which is crucial for people, their life, their health, their financial affairs.

✓ I like advertisements which are crucial for people, their lives, their health, and their financial affairs.

'Advertisements' is plural, so the verb should be 'are'. Also, 'life' should be plural 'lives' to match 'people'.

× It provides valuable advice and constructive feedback depending on one's grasp of financial.

✓ They provide valuable advice and constructive feedback depending on one's grasp of finances.

'Advertisements' is plural, so the pronoun should be 'they'. Also, 'financial' is an adjective and needs a noun; 'finances' is appropriate here.