Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear but can be improved by reducing filler words like 'uh' and making sentences more concise. Also, try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and add more specific details about the toy or the jingle to enrich your response.

예시: Yes, when I was 8 years old, a toy commercial impressed me because it had a unique jingle that was very catchy. Moreover, the advertisement used vibrant colors which made it visually appealing and memorable.

제안: Your answer contains some unclear phrases and could be more coherent. Try to use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague terms like 'IC advertisements' or 'departments of Train'. Also, correct minor grammar errors and be more specific about the types of advertisements you see.

예시: Yes, I often see many advertisements on public transport, such as posters and digital screens. These ads usually promote movies, services, and products, and they are placed strategically to catch passengers' attention.

제안: Your answer shows good ideas but can be improved by avoiding vague phrases like 'some sort of creativity' and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your points and provide clearer, more specific explanations.

예시: Yes, I like advertisements because they often showcase creativity and entertain me. Furthermore, some ads convey meaningful messages, which I appreciate. I also enjoy catchy jingles that make the ads memorable.

제안: Your answer is good but can be improved by correcting grammar mistakes and avoiding filler words like 'uh'. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more precise in your explanations. Also, clarify phrases like 'made me laugh out my heart' for better naturalness.

예시: I prefer humorous advertisements because they make me laugh heartily and are creatively made. Additionally, these ads often go viral, and I enjoy sharing them with my friends to spread the laughter.

× Yes, when I was 8 years old, there was this commercial of a toy uh, which was really fascinating to me uh, because it has a very different Jingle and it was really entertaining to hear it.

✓ Yes, when I was 8 years old, there was this commercial of a toy uh, which was really fascinating to me uh, because it had a very different jingle and it was really entertaining to hear it.

The sentence refers to a past event ('when I was 8 years old'), so the verb tense should be consistent in the past. 'Has' is present tense; it should be changed to 'had' to match the past context.

× Also, the colors that are used in this advertisement are really vibrant that I really like.

✓ Also, the colors that are used in this advertisement are really vibrant, which I really like.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'that' to connect two clauses where 'which' is appropriate to introduce a non-restrictive relative clause. Adding a comma before 'which' improves clarity.

× There are many advertisements on public transports in form of posters and digital TV's, mostly IC advertisements of movies and services and products on the departments of Train and they are placed strategically so it is easy to grab attention.

✓ There are many advertisements on public transport in the form of posters and digital TVs, mostly IC advertisements of movies, services, and products on the trains, and they are placed strategically so it is easy to grab attention.

'Transports' should be singular 'transport' as it refers to the general mode of transportation. 'TV's' should be plural 'TVs' without an apostrophe. 'Departments of Train' is unclear and corrected to 'trains' to fit context. Also, commas are added for clarity.

× Yes, advertisers are really fascinating to me because they have some sort of creativity and it just entertains me a lot.

✓ Yes, advertisers are really fascinating to me because they have some sort of creativity and they just entertain me a lot.

The subject 'advertisers' is plural, so the verb should be 'entertain' instead of 'entertains' to agree in number.

× Moreover, sometimes the advertisements have a very good meaning that is hidden inside it and I really like that.

✓ Moreover, sometimes the advertisements have a very good meaning hidden inside them, and I really like that.

The phrase 'that is hidden inside it' is awkward and uses singular 'it' for plural 'advertisements'. Changing to 'hidden inside them' improves agreement and sentence flow.

× Also, I really like some jingles that are played in some.

✓ Also, I really like some jingles that are played in some advertisements.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'advertisements' clarifies the meaning and completes the sentence.

× Well, I would say I like humorous advertisements more because they just made me laugh out my heart and also I think that they are made very creatively.

✓ Well, I would say I like humorous advertisements more because they just make me laugh out of my heart and also I think that they are made very creatively.

The phrase 'made me laugh' is past tense, but the context is general preference, so present tense 'make me laugh' is appropriate. Also, 'laugh out my heart' is corrected to 'laugh out of my heart' for idiomatic accuracy.

× Uh, they went viral easily and I just shared those advertisements with them, my friends to make them laugh.

✓ Uh, they went viral easily and I just shared those advertisements with my friends to make them laugh.

The pronoun 'them' before 'my friends' is unnecessary and incorrect. Removing 'them' clarifies the sentence and corrects pronoun usage.