Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答に多くの「uh」や「umm」が含まれており、流暢さが低下しています。また、文法的な誤り（"advisements"は"advertisements"が正しい）や冗長な表現が見られます。より自然で効果的な回答にするために、簡潔に主題文を述べ、具体的な理由や詳細を付け加え、接続詞を使って論理的に話を展開しましょう。

예시: One advertisement that impressed me as a child was for Samuel Ramen. I remember it well because I have always loved eating ramen, and the ad made the food look very delicious and appealing.

제안: 回答が不明瞭で、文法的な誤りや冗長な表現が多いです。例えば、「that's not so attractive and but I like to see the content」という部分は矛盾しており、意味が伝わりにくいです。より明確に意見を述べ、接続詞を使って文をつなげ、具体的な理由を加えると良いでしょう。

예시: Yes, there are many advertisements on trains and other transport. Although some ads are not very attractive, I enjoy looking at them because they help me pass the time and relax during my commute.

제안: 多くの「uh」が流暢さを妨げていますが、意見は明確に伝わっています。文を簡潔にし、接続詞を使って論理的に説明を加えると、より効果的な回答になります。

예시: No, I don't like advertisements because they often interrupt movies I watch on my smartphone. They distract me and waste my time, which I find very annoying.

제안: 回答が繰り返しや冗長な表現で構成されており、流暢さが低いです。質問に直接答えた後、具体的な理由や例を加え、接続詞を使って文をつなげることで、より自然で効果的な回答になります。

예시: Although I generally don't like advertisements, I enjoy food ads that show delicious dishes. They catch my attention and sometimes inspire me to try new foods.

× one of the, uh, impressive, uh, advisements in uh, my uh, childhood was uh, that of uh, Samuel Ramen.

✓ one of the impressive advertisements in my childhood was that of Samuel Ramen.

The word 'impressive' is an adjective correctly used to describe 'advertisements', but 'advisements' is a misspelling and should be 'advertisements'. Also, unnecessary filler words like 'uh' should be removed for clarity.

× I love to, uh, eat many ramens.

✓ I love to eat a lot of ramen.

The word 'ramen' is an uncountable noun referring to a type of food, so it should not be pluralized as 'ramens'. Instead, use quantifiers like 'a lot of'.

× there are many types of advertising on a train, umm, that's not so attractive and uh, but uh, I like to, uh, see the content of that.

✓ there are many types of advertising on trains, some of which are not very attractive, but I like to see their content.

The phrase 'on a train' is better as 'on trains' to indicate generality. Also, 'content of that' is awkward; 'their content' is clearer. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× Uh, it's a very, uh, important for me to, uh, spend the time, uh, with, uh, relaxing.

✓ It's very important for me to spend time relaxing.

The article 'a' before 'important' is incorrect because 'important' is an adjective here, not a noun. Also, 'the time' is unnecessary; 'time' is uncountable. The phrase 'with relaxing' should be 'relaxing' as a gerund object.

× there are many types of advertisements and uh, distract me.

✓ there are many types of advertisements and they distract me.

The pronoun 'they' is needed to refer back to 'advertisements' as the subject of 'distract'. Without it, the sentence is incomplete.

× I don't like the uh, the time consumed by uh, such advertisements.

✓ I don't like the time consumed by such advertisements.

The repeated article 'the' is unnecessary. Removing the extra 'the' improves sentence fluency.

× some advertising about, uh, foods, uh, which looks very, uh, delicious, uh, is uh, uh, very good for me.

✓ some advertisements about food, which look very delicious, are very good for me.

'Advertising' is uncountable, but here 'advertisements' (countable) fits better. 'Foods' is usually uncountable as 'food'. Also, 'which looks' should be 'which look' to agree with plural 'advertisements'. The verb 'is' should be 'are' to match plural subject.