Computers— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答不够自然且有语法错误，句子结构不完整，表达不清晰。建议简化句子，直接回答问题，并使用正确的时态和语法。

예시: I usually use a computer when I want to communicate with my friends or play games to relax after studying.

제안: 回答较完整，但存在语法错误和冗余。建议注意时态一致，避免重复表达，并使用连接词使句子更流畅。

예시: The first time I used a computer was when I was nine years old. I mainly used it to chat with friends and play games, which helped me relax after studying.

제안: 回答不完整且语法混乱，表达不清晰。建议先明确主题句，然后用具体细节支持，避免语法错误。

예시: Without a computer, my life would be boring because I couldn't play games or connect with my friends on social media.

제안: 回答内容较丰富，但句子较长且有语法错误。建议分句表达，注意时态和主谓一致，使表达更清晰。

예시: When I was in junior high school, it was difficult to use a computer because my parents limited my time to focus on studying. They allowed me to use it only after finishing my homework.

× I remembered that when I was about nine years old, my parents bought a gift for me.

✓ I remember that when I was about nine years old, my parents bought a gift for me.

这里使用过去时态“remembered”不合适，因为表达的是现在回忆的事实，应该用一般现在时“remember”。

× It's a beautiful computer which can get connected with my friends and played computer games, which really made me feel happy and unwind, especially after a busy study.

✓ It's a beautiful computer which can connect with my friends and play computer games, which really makes me feel happy and helps me unwind, especially after busy studying.

“can get connected”应改为“can connect”，因为“can”后接动词原形；“played”应改为“play”，保持时态一致；“made”应改为“makes”，因为描述的是电脑的功能，使用一般现在时；“unwind”前应加“helps me”使句子完整。

× I was very happy and I.

✓ I was very happy.

句子不完整，“and I”后缺少谓语，导致句子结构错误，应删除多余部分。

× I remembered that when I was about nine years old, my parents bought me a beautiful computer.

✓ I remember that when I was about nine years old, my parents bought me a beautiful computer.

同上，表达现在回忆的事实，应使用一般现在时“remember”。

× I used it mainly to communicate with my friends and shared my interesting experience online, and I also enjoyed playing computer games, which helped me relax and unwind after a busy day of studying.

✓ I use it mainly to communicate with my friends and share my interesting experiences online, and I also enjoy playing computer games, which help me relax and unwind after a busy day of studying.

根据上下文，描述的是习惯性动作，应使用一般现在时，动词用原形或第三人称单数形式。

× Using this computer in is really made me feel very happy and entertained.

✓ Using this computer really makes me feel very happy and entertained.

句子结构混乱，“in is”多余且错误；“made”应改为“makes”保持时态一致。

× As for me, if they're without a computer, the life will be very boring and tired because computer really makes us for entertainment and interesting because it can provide us atmosphere with computer games and social media to connect with our friend.

✓ As for me, if we are without a computer, life will be very boring and tiring because computers really provide us with entertainment and interest; they can provide an atmosphere with computer games and social media to connect with our friends.

“they're”应改为“we are”以指代人；“the life”应改为“life”；“tired”应改为“tiring”；“makes us for entertainment and interesting”表达不当，应改为“provide us with entertainment and interest”；“friend”应为复数“friends”。

× But if.

✓ But if what?

句子不完整，缺少后续内容，导致结构错误。

× I remembered that when I was studying junior high school, I'm busy with my study, so my parents don't allow me to play computers because it really takes me more time and I immersed myself into the computer games.

✓ I remember that when I was studying in junior high school, I was busy with my studies, so my parents didn't allow me to play computer games because it really took up too much of my time and I immersed myself in computer games.

时态不一致，应统一为过去时；“play computers”应为“play computer games”；“takes me more time”表达不准确，应为“took up too much of my time”；“immersed myself into”应为“immersed myself in”。

× It's really bad for my studies, so my parents told me that if I finish my homework, I can use my computer.

✓ It's really bad for my studies, so my parents told me that if I finished my homework, I could use my computer.

条件句中应使用过去时态“finished”和“could”与主句过去时态保持一致。