Computers— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat fragmented and contains some grammatical errors. Try to combine your ideas into coherent sentences and avoid redundancy. Use linking words like 'and' or 'also' to connect your points smoothly. For example, instead of starting a sentence with 'Whenever I am at work,' you can say 'I use computers mainly at work and also at school to complete assignments.'

예시: I use computers mainly at work to create quotations, documents, and important files, which I also secure and share via email with clients and colleagues. Additionally, I use computers at school or college to complete my assignments.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains irrelevant information like 'when I was tired.' Focus on answering the question directly with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Also, avoid repetition and grammatical mistakes. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so' to explain the importance of your teacher's help.

예시: The first time I used a computer was at school when I was a student. I did not know how to use it properly at first, but my teacher taught me efficiently, which helped me complete assignments and conduct research.

제안: Your answer is relevant but quite long and repetitive. Try to make your sentences concise and use linking words like 'because' or 'therefore' to connect ideas logically. Also, avoid repeating the same idea multiple times.

예시: My life would be very difficult without a computer because I depend on it for work tasks, sending emails, and conducting research daily.

제안: Your answer has some grammatical errors and unclear phrases like 'complete my tax efficiently.' Try to clarify your points and use linking words such as 'because' and 'therefore' to make your answer coherent. Also, avoid redundancy and ensure correct word usage.

예시: It would be difficult for me to use a computer without electricity and Wi-Fi, especially when I am outdoors, because the computer cannot run smoothly, and I would not be able to complete my tasks efficiently.

× Whenever I am at work.

✓ Whenever I am at work,

The sentence 'Whenever I am at work.' is a dependent clause and cannot stand alone as a complete sentence. It needs to be connected to the main clause to form a complete sentence. Adding a comma indicates continuation and correct sentence structure.

× I usually use it to make my quotations, documents and other important files to secure them as well as send emails to my client and other staff members.

✓ I usually use them to make my quotations, documents and other important files to secure them as well as send emails to my clients and other staff members.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'computers' which is plural, so 'them' should be used. Also, 'client' should be plural 'clients' to match 'other staff members' and general usage.

× As well as I use computers in my school or college to do my assignment.

✓ I also use computers in my school or college to do my assignments.

Starting a sentence with 'As well as' is incorrect here; it is a conjunction that should connect clauses. Also, 'assignment' should be plural 'assignments' to match general usage. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correctness.

× When I was tired, I used the computer for the first time.

✓ The first time I used the computer was when I was tired.

The original sentence is awkward and unclear. Reordering the sentence clarifies that the first use of the computer happened when the student was tired.

× You know, if he efficient way, it helped me a lot.

✓ You know, using it efficiently helped me a lot.

The original sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect. It seems to intend that using the computer efficiently was helpful. The correction clarifies and corrects the sentence structure.

× My life would be really hard without a computer as I am totally dependent upon the computer to do my work tasks and other activities from day-to-day life without which I cannot do my work properly including sending my emails and other tasks that I do in my office as well as I cannot do any kind of research.

✓ My life would be really hard without a computer as I am totally dependent on the computer to do my work tasks and other day-to-day activities, without which I cannot do my work properly, including sending my emails and other tasks that I do in my office, as well as any kind of research.

The preposition 'dependent upon' is less common than 'dependent on' in this context. Also, the sentence is very long and needs commas for clarity. The phrase 'from day-to-day life' is better expressed as 'day-to-day activities'. The sentence is corrected for preposition use and clarity.

× If I do not have electricity and Wi-Fi and if I am out in open, it will be really difficult for me to use a computer because without electricity and a proper Wi-Fi or computer run smoothly and I cannot complete my tax efficiently.

✓ If I do not have electricity and Wi-Fi, and if I am out in the open, it will be really difficult for me to use a computer because without electricity and proper Wi-Fi, a computer cannot run smoothly and I cannot complete my tasks efficiently.

The sentence had missing articles ('the open'), incorrect conjunction usage, and awkward phrasing ('or computer run smoothly'). 'Tax' is likely a typo for 'tasks'. The sentence is corrected for conjunctions, articles, and clarity.