Art— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid hesitations and unclear phrases (e.g. “I love learning my heart”), and add one specific supporting detail (what you draw or why). Use linking phrases for coherence.

예시: Yes, I do. I have been drawing since childhood and it has always been an important part of my life. For example, I often draw animals and portraits, which helps me relax and improve my observation skills.

제안: Clarify your meaning and avoid vague or incorrect phrases (e.g. “Lori”, “miss my family”). Start with a clear opinion, then give two brief, linked reasons (visiting alone vs with others) with specific examples. Reduce repetition and hesitations.

예시: Yes, I enjoy going to galleries. When I visit alone, I can focus on details and learn new techniques, while going with friends or family makes the visit more social and fun.

제안: Be direct and organize your answer: state your desire to learn, then give specific aspects you want to improve (techniques, theory, digital tools) and one reason or future benefit. Avoid filler phrases like “if my memory serves me right.”

예시: Yes, I want to learn more about art. In particular, I would like to improve my drawing techniques, study composition and color theory, and learn digital illustration, because these skills will help me pursue a career in design.

제안: Give a clear, grammatically correct response with a concise topic sentence, then provide specific examples of what you drew and how encouragement helped you. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear words like “causes” and finish your thought.

예시: Yes, I learned to draw as a child because my mother encouraged me. I drew animals and clothing designs, and that encouragement inspired me to study fashion design later on.

× Definitely I do.

✓ Definitely I do.

Although this sentence is short, the placement of 'definitely' before the auxiliary 'do' is acceptable in speech. No grammatical correction needed; keep as is.

× I've been drawing, uh, since my childhood and the drawing has always been a part of my life.

✓ I've been drawing since my childhood, and drawing has always been a part of my life.

The phrase 'the drawing' incorrectly uses the definite article. Use the present perfect continuous 'I've been drawing' (correct) and refer to the activity uncountably as 'drawing' without 'the'. Remove filler words and add a comma for clarity.

× I love learning my heart and that's my skills since my childhood.

✓ I love drawing from the heart, and those have been my skills since childhood.

Original sentence mixes idioms and pronouns incorrectly. 'Learning my heart' is not idiomatic; likely intended 'drawing from the heart'. 'That's my skills' uses a singular demonstrative with plural 'skills' and wrong verb form. Use 'those have been my skills' or better: 'and those have been my skills since childhood.' Keep tense consistent.

× Yeah, definitely I do.

✓ Yeah, I definitely do.

Placement of 'definitely' is more natural after the subject in this short response. There's no third-person verb issue here; adjustment improves natural word order.

× For example, uh, when I walk and go to Lori alone, it uh, helps me broaden my horizon and, uh, look into new things here.

✓ For example, when I walk to the gallery alone, it helps me broaden my horizons and see new things.

'Go to Lori' is unclear; likely 'gallery'. Use 'walk to' plus the location. 'Broaden my horizon' should be 'broaden my horizons' (idiomatic plural). 'Look into new things here' is awkward; use 'see' or 'discover new things.' Remove fillers.

× But on the other hand, when I walk with my friend or miss my family, it can help make me fun and joyful, spend my time more fun.

✓ But when I walk with my friends or visit my family, it can make me feel happy and help me enjoy my time more.

'Walk with my friend or miss my family' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely intended 'walk with my friends or visit my family.' 'Make me fun' is incorrect; use 'make me feel happy' or 'make it fun.' Rephrase 'spend my time more fun' to 'help me enjoy my time more.' Ensure plural agreement 'friends' if more than one.

× Definitely, if my memory serves me right, uh, I learn a lot of things, how to draw, draw, how to learn how to, uh, develop my skills and also into learn by heart, which gives me opportunity in the future.

✓ Definitely. If my memory serves me right, I learned a lot: how to draw, how to develop my skills, and I memorized techniques that will give me opportunities in the future.

Tense consistency is needed: when referring to past learning, use past tense 'learned.' Remove redundant phrases 'draw, draw' and 'how to learn how to.' 'Into learn by heart' is incorrect; use 'I memorized techniques.' 'Gives me opportunity' needs plural 'opportunities.' Break into clearer clauses.

× When I was a kid, my mom always came to me and decided you should be a artist because you have a talent.

✓ When I was a kid, my mom would always tell me, 'You should be an artist because you have talent.'

Use past habitual 'would always tell' or 'always told' rather than 'came to me and decided.' Reported speech requires quotation or indirect speech; also article error 'a artist' should be 'an artist.' Change 'you have a talent' to 'you have talent' or 'you have a talent for it.'

× Uh, yes. I enjoy drawing a lot of animals, a lot of uh, causes and I once it become a fashion designer.

✓ Yes. I enjoy drawing a lot of animals and many subjects, and I once wanted to become a fashion designer.

'A lot of animals, a lot of uh, causes' is vague; replace with 'animals and many subjects.' 'I once it become a fashion designer' is ungrammatical: use past intention 'I once wanted to become a fashion designer.' Ensure verb tense matches past desire.

× So that's why I've.

✓ So that's why I did.

The fragment 'So that's why I've.' is incomplete. Likely intended 'So that's why I did' or 'So that's why I have continued' depending on context. Provide a complete clause to convey reason; here 'I did' is a minimal repair, but better: 'So that's why I continued drawing' if context is continuation.