Relax— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence (where you relax), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "feel stressed" and "feel anxious" used twice). Use varied vocabulary for atmosphere and view.

예시: I usually relax on the balcony of my bedroom at home. It has a great view of the street and nearby trees, so I often sit there to breathe fresh air and unwind after work.

제안: Organize your answer: begin with a clear statement (you relax alone), then give two specific activities with linking words. Avoid filler words and repeated phrases like "just" and "either." Correct grammar (e.g., "start turn on" → "turn on").

예시: I usually relax alone. For example, I often have a cup of coffee and read a book on the balcony, or I sit with my eyes closed to enjoy the cool breeze; sometimes I also turn on soft music.

제안: Clarify and correct sentences: start with a direct answer, then explain with clear contrasting examples using linking words (e.g., "however" or "but"). Avoid unclear words like "Nah" and fix collocations ("pop up music" → "pop music"). Keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I find music very relaxing. For instance, I listen to soothing instrumental tracks when I'm stressed, but when I'm in a good mood I prefer upbeat pop music that makes me want to dance.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and use linking words to contrast options. Remove fillers like "uh" and correct small errors ("in on my bed" → "on my bed"). Be specific about activities and sensations.

예시: It depends on the weather: if it's cool I sit on the balcony and enjoy the breeze, but if it's sunny I relax on my bed, close my eyes and listen to soothing music.

× I relax in my personal room at my home.

✓ I relax in my personal room at home.

Using 'at my home' is grammatically acceptable but wordy; native usage favors 'at home' or 'in my room'. Use 'at home' for conciseness and naturalness.

× Whenever I feel stressed or I feel anxious, I just go in the balcony of my bedroom and relax there.

✓ Whenever I feel stressed or anxious, I just go out to the balcony of my bedroom and relax there.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect for balcony; use 'out to' or 'onto' to indicate moving to an outdoor balcony. Also drop the repeated 'I feel' for conciseness.

× It's a very peaceful place, having a great view of the outside, providing a very relaxing atmosphere.

✓ It's a very peaceful place with a great view of the outside, providing a very relaxing atmosphere.

Use 'with' to link a place and a feature ('a place with a view'). 'Having' is not wrong but 'with' is more natural here.

× I usually relax on my own, I just have a cup of coffee and I just read a book or either sit on a chair with my eyes closed and feel the cool breeze in my balcony.

✓ I usually relax on my own; I have a cup of coffee, read a book, or sit on a chair with my eyes closed and feel the cool breeze on my balcony.

Use semicolon or conjunction to fix run-on sentence. Remove redundant 'just' and 'either' which are misused. Preposition should be 'on my balcony' not 'in my balcony'. Parallelism: use consistent verb forms 'have, read, or sit'.

× It's very rejuvenating and relaxing. Or either I start turn on the music.

✓ It's very rejuvenating and relaxing, or I start to turn on the music.

Beginning a sentence with 'Or either' is incorrect; use 'or' to continue the idea. The verb 'start' should be followed by 'to' + base verb ('to turn on') or gerund ('turning on'). Also combine with previous sentence for flow.

× Yes, for me listening to music is relaxing as whenever I feel stressed or anxious I listen to music.

✓ Yes, listening to music is relaxing for me, because whenever I feel stressed or anxious I listen to music.

Add 'because' for clarity of reason and place 'for me' in a natural position. Tenses are present simple and correct; adjustment improves coherence.

× I prefer soothing music when I am feeling miserable and when I am tired or Nah in a good mood that I listen to pop up music and I often feel like dancing then.

✓ I prefer soothing music when I am feeling miserable or tired, but when I am in a good mood I listen to pop music and often feel like dancing then.

Replace 'and when' with 'or' to correctly link feelings, remove 'Nah' (nonstandard), use 'but' to contrast moods, correct 'pop up music' to 'pop music', and simplify 'I often feel like dancing then' for natural word order.

× If the weather is cool I just sit in my balcony and feel the cool breeze on my face.

✓ If the weather is cool, I just sit on my balcony and feel the cool breeze on my face.

Use 'on my balcony' not 'in my balcony'. Add a comma after the if-clause for clarity.

× But if it's sunny outside then I prefer to relax in on my bed.

✓ But if it's sunny outside, then I prefer to relax on my bed.

Remove the extra preposition 'in'; use 'on my bed'. Add a comma after the conditional clause.

× Uh, by closing my eyes and listening to soothing music.

✓ I relax by closing my eyes and listening to soothing music.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb. Add subject and verb ('I relax') to make a complete sentence and show how the action is done.