Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and sentence structure: use correct verb forms and article use (e.g., "parties my friends organize for me"). Keep answers concise (max 3–4 sentences) and avoid redundancy. Add one specific detail about feelings or activities and use a linking word to connect ideas (e.g., "because" or "so").

예시: I usually attend a party that my friends organize for me. For example, last year they arranged a dinner in Ginza, so we caught up over Chinese food. I felt really happy because we hadn't seen each other for a long time.

제안: Fix small errors and be more specific: correct phrasing ("we would eat together"), and briefly add a vivid detail (a typical dish or a memorable story). Use a linking word like "and" or "then" to join ideas and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: When I was young, I always had a special dinner with my parents and brother. We would eat steamed fish and cake together, and then share stories about the year, which made the evening very memorable.

제안: Streamline and correct minor grammar: use "low-key gatherings" and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one reason and a brief comparison to the past using a linking word like "however" or "whereas".

예시: I don't find big birthday celebrations important now because I prefer low-key gatherings. Whereas I enjoyed large parties when I was younger, I now value a quiet dinner with close family.

제안: Improve grammar and precision: use plural forms and natural phrasing ("family members' birthdays"). Be specific about cultural reasons and give one concrete example or tradition, using a linking word like "because" or "for example."

예시: I think family members' birthdays are the most important to celebrate in China because we place great value on family ties. For example, families often gather to share a meal and give blessings, which helps strengthen relationships.

× On my birthday, I usually go to parties on my friends organize for me.

✓ On my birthday, I usually go to parties my friends organize for me.

The preposition 'on' before 'my friends organize for me' is incorrect. The clause is a relative clause modifying 'parties' and should not have 'on'. Remove 'on' so the sentence reads naturally: 'parties my friends organize for me.' Suggestion: Use a relative clause without an extra preposition when describing who organizes the parties.

× For example, on my last birthday, they arrange a dinner in Ginza and I enjoyed eating Chinese food with them because we haven't seen each other for a long time.

✓ For example, on my last birthday, they arranged a dinner in Ginza and I enjoyed eating Chinese food with them because we hadn't seen each other for a long time.

The main event is in the past, so verbs describing it should be in past tense. 'Arrange' should be past 'arranged'. Also, 'haven't seen' (present perfect) conflicts with the past context; use past perfect 'hadn't seen' to indicate that the not-seeing occurred before that past event. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent for past events: use past or past perfect when referring to earlier states.

× It was a family tradition to gather for a birthday meal, so we would each together at home and enjoy cake and stories about the year.

✓ It was a family tradition to gather for a birthday meal, so we would eat together at home and enjoy cake and share stories about the year.

The original sentence is missing the verb 'eat' and misorders words ('each together' is incorrect). Replace with 'eat together' and add 'share' to clarify 'stories about the year.' Suggestion: Ensure each clause has a clear verb and common verb phrases like 'eat together' and 'share stories.'

× I don't think it's very important for me to celebrate my birthday now because as I've grown older I prefer low key gathering to big parties.

✓ I don't think it's very important for me to celebrate my birthday now because as I've grown older I prefer low-key gatherings to big parties.

'Low key' should be hyphenated as the compound adjective 'low-key' and 'gathering' should be plural 'gatherings' to match the general preference. Also use plural to compare types of events. Suggestion: Use hyphenation for compound adjectives before a noun and match plural forms when speaking generally.

× When I was younger I enjoyed big celebrations with friends and cake, but now I value quiet time on a dinner with close family.

✓ When I was younger I enjoyed big celebrations with friends and cake, but now I value quiet time at a dinner with close family.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect with 'dinner'; use 'at' or 'during' to indicate being present at an event. 'At a dinner' is the natural collocation. Suggestion: Use common prepositions with events: 'at a party/dinner', 'during a meal.'

× I believe it is most important to celebrate family member's birthday in China, as in China, we have strong relationship with our family members.

✓ I believe it is most important to celebrate family members' birthdays in China, as in China we have strong relationships with our family members.

Possessive placement and number are incorrect: 'family member's birthday' (singular) should be plural possessive 'family members' birthdays' to refer generally. Also 'relationship' should be plural 'relationships' to agree with plural 'family members.' Suggestion: Use plural forms and correct possessive placement for general statements: 'family members' birthdays' and 'strong relationships.'

× In order to strengthen our bonds, it is important to celebrate them on birthday.

✓ In order to strengthen our bonds, it is important to celebrate them on their birthdays.

'On birthday' is missing a determiner and should be 'on their birthdays' to refer to each person's birthday. Alternatively 'on a birthday' could be used, but 'their birthdays' is most natural here. Suggestion: Use appropriate determiners with 'birthday' when speaking about multiple people: 'their birthdays' or 'each person's birthday.'