Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to make your response more natural and coherent by using correct sentence structures and linking words. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer within 5 sentences. For example, clearly state your activities and the sequence in which you do them.

예시: On my birthday, I usually visit the temple early in the morning to receive blessings from the priests and my elders. After that, I celebrate with my family and friends by going to different restaurants and enjoying a meal together.

제안: Your answer is repetitive and has grammatical mistakes that affect clarity. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details, using linking words to connect ideas. Avoid repeating phrases and ensure your sentences are complete and meaningful.

예시: When I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday by cutting a cake and throwing a big party for my friends and family. I really enjoyed these celebrations, but now I prefer quieter gatherings.

제안: Your answer has good content but is affected by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your thoughts logically. Also, avoid unnecessary repetition and keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I believe celebrating my birthday is important because it reminds me of the day I was born. It motivates me to work hard and become successful so that I can support my family financially and achieve my dreams in the future.

제안: Your answer is honest but lacks fluency and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to express your lack of knowledge more naturally and use correct sentence structures. Also, avoid fragmented sentences and ensure your response is clear and complete.

예시: I am not very familiar with Chinese culture, so I do not know which birthdays are considered the most important to celebrate there.

× On my birthday, I usually like to go to temple early in the morning so that I can get placing from the guard as well as from my parents and elderly people, and afterward I celebrate my birthday with.

✓ On my birthday, I usually like to go to the temple early in the morning so that I can get blessings from the guard as well as from my parents and elderly people, and afterward I celebrate my birthday with

The phrase 'go to temple' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'temple' because it refers to a specific place. Also, 'get placing' is incorrect; the correct word is 'blessings' which fits the context of receiving good wishes or prayers. The sentence ends abruptly with 'with' which should be connected to the next sentence or completed properly.

× My friends and family by visiting different restaurant.

✓ my friends and family by visiting different restaurants.

This sentence fragment lacks a subject and verb to connect it properly to the previous sentence. Also, 'restaurant' should be plural 'restaurants' because it implies visiting more than one place. The corrected sentence completes the thought started earlier.

× When I was young I used to celebrate by cutting cakes and throwing a huge party to my friends and family member when I was young, so I used to like a lot.

✓ When I was young, I used to celebrate by cutting cakes and throwing a huge party for my friends and family members, so I used to like it a lot.

The phrase 'throwing a huge party to' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'for' when referring to hosting a party for someone. 'Family member' should be plural 'family members' to match the plural 'friends'. Also, 'like a lot' needs the pronoun 'it' to complete the meaning.

× Celebrating my birthday so I used to celebrate it with a huge.

✓ I used to celebrate my birthday with a huge party.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. It should be restructured to clearly state the action and object. 'A huge' is incomplete and needs a noun like 'party' to complete the meaning.

× Success, but now I don't usually do it.

✓ success, but now I don't usually do it.

The word 'Success' at the beginning is disconnected and should be in lowercase and connected to the previous sentence. The rest of the sentence is correct in present tense.

× Yes, I think it is important for me to celebrate my birthday Asita reminds me the day that I was born an.

✓ Yes, I think it is important for me to celebrate my birthday as it reminds me of the day that I was born.

The word 'Asita' seems to be a typo for 'as it'. Also, 'reminds me the day' should be 'reminds me of the day' because 'remind' requires the preposition 'of' before the object.

× That I have to be a successful person in my life so that I can help to sustain my family financially and economically as well as fulfill my dreams in the upcoming future days to prove myself.

✓ That I have to be a successful person in my life so that I can help sustain my family financially and economically as well as fulfill my dreams in the upcoming days to prove myself.

The phrase 'help to sustain' can be simplified to 'help sustain'. 'Upcoming future days' is redundant; 'upcoming days' is sufficient. The sentence is long but grammatically acceptable after these corrections.

× I really do not know who's birthday is most important to celebrate in China as I'm unknown to their culture and what they usually follows, so I am in dark about what they might.

✓ I really do not know whose birthday is most important to celebrate in China as I am unfamiliar with their culture and what they usually follow, so I am in the dark about what they might

The word 'who's' is a contraction of 'who is' but the possessive pronoun 'whose' is needed here. 'I'm unknown to' is incorrect; 'I am unfamiliar with' is the correct phrase. 'What they usually follows' should be 'what they usually follow' because 'they' is plural. 'In dark' should be 'in the dark' as it is an idiomatic expression.

× Find most important to celebrate.

✓ find most important to celebrate.

This fragment is incomplete and should be connected to the previous sentence or rephrased for clarity. It is left as is to maintain the original meaning but corrected for capitalization.