Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more fluent and coherent by avoiding pauses and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide a clear, complete response within 5 sentences. For example, explain what you enjoy about the small dinner and why you prefer it over big celebrations.

예시: On my birthday, I usually have a small dinner with close friends and family because I prefer intimate gatherings. I don't like big or epic parties as they feel overwhelming. This way, I can enjoy quality time with people I care about.

제안: Clarify your ideas and avoid unclear or incorrect words. Use linking words to organize your answer logically. Provide specific details about the celebration and explain the customs clearly. Avoid confusing phrases like 'better Diego' or 'weigh what you wanted'.

예시: When I was young, I celebrated my birthday at school. It was special because I could wear any clothes I liked, which was not allowed on other days. Our school had a custom where the birthday boy or girl could choose their outfit freely.

제안: Make your answer more structured and complete. Use linking words to connect your ideas and explain your opinion clearly. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases like 'busy day'.

예시: I think celebrating birthdays depends on the person. When I was younger, I took my birthday seriously and enjoyed parties. Now, I value celebrating important milestones more than just having cakes and treats.

제안: Try to answer directly and clearly. If you are not familiar with the topic, say so briefly and then give a general opinion. Avoid unclear phrases like 'better day' and 'ability for the president'. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

예시: I'm not very familiar with Chinese birthday traditions. However, I think important birthdays to celebrate might include those of national leaders, as they are significant figures in the country's history.

× Well, most of the times during my birthdays I usually have a small dinner.

✓ Well, most of the time during my birthday I usually have a small dinner.

The phrase 'most of the times' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'most of the time' (singular). Also, 'birthdays' should be singular to match the general statement about the birthday occasion.

× Uhm, surrounded with a few close friends and just. Family.

✓ Uhm, I am surrounded by a few close friends and just family.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a subject and verb. 'Surrounded with' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'surrounded by'. The sentence needs to be complete to convey the meaning properly.

× I don't love something that is. A little bit epic, but.

✓ I don't like something that is a little bit epic, though.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Don't love' is better replaced with 'don't like' for natural expression. The sentence should be combined to form a complete thought.

× It was one of the biggest days in a year where I could go to school wearing anything that I wanted because it was my busy day.

✓ It was one of the biggest days in the year when I could go to school wearing anything that I wanted because it was my birthday.

'In a year' should be 'in the year' to specify the particular year. 'Busy day' is incorrect; the intended word is 'birthday'. Also, 'where' is better replaced with 'when' for time reference.

× It was sort of a custom at our school that if you were the better Diego or the better day boy, you would weigh what you wanted.

✓ It was sort of a custom at our school that if you were the birthday boy, you could wear what you wanted.

'Better Diego' and 'better day boy' are incorrect phrases, likely misheard or misspoken. The correct phrase is 'birthday boy'. 'Weigh' is a wrong word here; the correct verb is 'wear'.

× Will. I think it depends on.

✓ Well, I think it depends.

'Will' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'Well' as a discourse marker. The phrase 'depends on' is incomplete and should be 'depends' or followed by an object.

× Because when I was younger I used to take busy day seriously but right now it is more of celebrating milestones achieved means more than having treats cakes in everything.

✓ Because when I was younger I used to take my birthday seriously, but right now celebrating milestones achieved means more than having treats, cakes, and everything.

'Busy day' should be 'birthday'. The sentence is run-on and needs restructuring. 'Means more than having treats cakes in everything' is awkward; adding commas and conjunctions improves clarity.

× Because now I'm a little bit older so I value.

✓ Because now I'm a little bit older, so I value it more.

The sentence is incomplete; 'I value' needs an object to be clear. Adding 'it more' completes the thought.

× Will, I'm not much familiar with the Chinese traditions, but I think the better day that is important to celebrate is the ability for the president, as he's well known in origins of the country.

✓ Well, I'm not very familiar with Chinese traditions, but I think the birthday that is important to celebrate is the birthday of the president, as he's well known in the origins of the country.

'Will' should be 'Well' as a discourse marker. 'Not much familiar' is incorrect; 'not very familiar' is correct. 'Better day' should be 'birthday'. 'Ability for the president' is incorrect; it should be 'birthday of the president'. Also, 'in origins of the country' needs 'the' before 'origins'.