Birthday— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Améliorez la fluidité et la structure de votre réponse en évitant les phrases incomplètes et en utilisant des mots de liaison pour rendre votre discours plus naturel et cohérent. Par exemple, commencez par une phrase claire, puis ajoutez des détails spécifiques avec des connecteurs logiques.

예시: On my birthday, I usually spend time with my family. We like to relax and have dinner together, either at home or in a restaurant. This has become more important to me as I grow older.

제안: Travaillez sur la grammaire et la clarté de vos phrases. Utilisez des phrases complètes et des mots de liaison pour exprimer vos idées clairement. Par exemple, commencez par une phrase principale, puis expliquez avec des détails précis.

예시: When I was young, I enjoyed being the center of attention. Therefore, I asked my parents to organize a birthday party for me and invite all my friends to celebrate together.

제안: Améliorez la cohérence en utilisant des phrases complètes et des connecteurs logiques. Évitez les répétitions et soyez plus précis dans vos explications pour rendre votre réponse plus convaincante.

예시: Yes, I believe celebrating my birthday is important because it allows me to appreciate and love myself. In today's world, it's essential to cherish and respect oneself.

제안: Essayez de donner une réponse plus développée en utilisant des phrases complètes et en expliquant votre raisonnement avec des détails spécifiques. Utilisez des mots de liaison pour améliorer la fluidité.

예시: I am not very familiar with Chinese culture, but I would guess that the mother's birthday is the most important to celebrate because she takes care of and nourishes everyone in the family.

× Not something really special.

✓ Nothing really special.

The original sentence lacks a subject and verb, making it a sentence fragment. 'Nothing really special' is a complete phrase that correctly conveys the intended meaning.

× As I grow older, I like spending my. Birthday with my family we could rest.

✓ As I grow older, I like spending my birthday with my family where we can rest.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains punctuation errors. Combining the ideas into one sentence with proper conjunctions and correcting punctuation improves clarity.

× It dinner. Together.

✓ We have dinner together.

The original sentence is incomplete and fragmented. Adding a subject and verb forms a complete sentence.

× Maybe at home or in a restaurant.

✓ Maybe at home or in a restaurant.

This phrase is acceptable as a sentence fragment in spoken English, so no correction is necessary.

× When I was young, I really enjoy being the center of the attention so.

✓ When I was young, I really enjoyed being the center of attention, so

The sentence refers to a past time ('when I was young'), so the verb should be in the past tense ('enjoyed'). Also, 'the attention' should be 'attention' without 'the'.

× so. Aye. Wish to my parents to create a birthday party to me.

✓ so I wished my parents to create a birthday party for me.

The original sentence has incorrect prepositions and awkward phrasing. 'Wish to my parents' should be 'wished my parents', and 'to me' should be 'for me'.

× And invite all my friends coming around and celebrate together.

✓ and invited all my friends to come around and celebrate together.

The sentence lacks a subject and proper verb tense. Changing 'invite' to 'invited' and adding 'to come' corrects the structure.

× Yes, I think it's important to me to celebrate my birthday because as a way to appreciate yourself and to love yourself.

✓ Yes, I think it's important for me to celebrate my birthday because it is a way to appreciate and love yourself.

The phrase 'important to me' should be 'important for me'. Also, 'because as a way' is incorrect; it should be 'because it is a way'.

× It's really important in this era to cherish yourself and. Respect yourself.

✓ It's really important in this era to cherish and respect yourself.

The original sentence is fragmented and has unnecessary punctuation. Combining the ideas into one sentence improves clarity.

× Actually, I don't know very well the Chinese culture.

✓ Actually, I don't know Chinese culture very well.

The adverb 'very well' should be placed after the object 'Chinese culture' for correct word order.

× So I would guess it's the mother of a family because she is the one who nourishes.

✓ So I would guess it's the mother of the family because she is the one who nourishes everyone.

The phrase 'mother of a family' is less natural than 'mother of the family'. Also, the sentence is incomplete; adding 'everyone' completes the thought.