Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: begin with a clear topic sentence stating when you started, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., repeated phrase “using the Internet”). Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “so”, “then”, “since”).

예시: I first started using the internet regularly when I went to college. At that time I visited a computer shop two or three times a week to research assignments, and later I began using email to communicate with classmates and tutors.

제안: Provide a precise frequency and avoid absolute statements. Use clear linking to explain reasons (e.g., “because”, “so”). Correct small grammar errors (e.g., “contacts” → “contact”, “specially” → “especially”).

예시: I’m online most of the day because I keep my mobile data on. Since my family and coworkers contact me via messaging apps and email, I stay connected so I can reply quickly, especially in case of emergencies.

제안: Finish your answer fully and avoid trailing off. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific details and a brief reflection using linking words (e.g., “however”, “so”). Watch tense and punctuation.

예시: Yes. Last week, when I applied for a Japan visa at the embassy, security required me to surrender my phone because electronic devices aren’t allowed inside. I spent two to three hours offline, which was inconvenient, but I used the time to carefully review my printed documents.

제안: Make statements grammatically consistent and avoid vague phrases like “something like that.” Use present tense for habitual actions and give one or two specific examples, and suggest a brief consequence or plan to improve.

예시: To be honest, yes. During breaks I often check my phone, browse social media and watch influencers, and I sometimes shop online impulsively. Because of this, I plan to set time limits for social media during the day.

제안: Answer with a clear topic sentence and group similar activities. Use correct article and verb forms (e.g., “the Internet”, “I would”). Add linking words like “for example” or “also” if you list several activities.

예시: If I didn’t have the internet, I would do household chores such as laundry, ironing and sweeping. I would also go for a quick run around the neighborhood to get some fresh air without any electronic devices.

× On the Internet. I started using the Internet frequently when I was in college.

✓ I started using the internet frequently when I was in college.

Capitalization of 'Internet' is acceptable but inconsistent; more importantly the fragment 'On the Internet.' is unnecessary and causes sentence structure issues. Remove the fragment so the sentence is one clear statement. Also 'internet' can be lowercase in modern usage; keep consistent capitalization.

× And then I started using e-mail, using Internet.

✓ Then I started using e-mail and the internet.

The original repeats 'using' unnecessarily and misses the definite article before 'internet'. Use a coordinating conjunction 'and' and include 'the' for natural phrasing: 'the internet'. Also avoid repeating the verb.

× I keep my mobile data on because my family and coworkers contacts me through some messaging app and e-mail.

✓ I keep my mobile data on because my family and coworkers contact me through messaging apps and e-mail.

The subject 'family and coworkers' is plural, so the verb should be 'contact' not 'contacts'. Also 'messaging app' should be plural 'messaging apps' for generality, and 'through some messaging app and e-mail' is awkward; simplify to 'through messaging apps and e-mail'.

× So I need to be available anytime to reply to them quickly, specially for emergencies.

✓ So I need to be available at any time to reply to them quickly, especially for emergencies.

Use 'at any time' instead of 'anytime' for clarity and 'especially' instead of misspelled 'specially'. 'Especially' is the correct adverb for emphasis.

× Yes, just last week I applied for a Japan visa at the embassy and the security guard asked me to surrender my phone because electronic devices are not allowed inside.

✓ Yes, just last week I applied for a Japanese visa at the embassy, and the security guard asked me to surrender my phone because electronic devices were not allowed inside.

Use the adjective 'Japanese' to modify 'visa' and maintain past tense consistency: 'were not allowed' matches the past narrative. Add a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× I spent about two to three hours without Internet, which was a little inconvenient, but I used the time to review my printed documents and.

✓ I spent about two to three hours without the internet, which was a little inconvenient, but I used the time to review my printed documents.

Remove the trailing conjunction 'and' which leaves the sentence incomplete. Use 'the internet' and end the sentence after 'documents' for completeness.

× To be honest, yes, I spent too much time online during my break.

✓ To be honest, yes, I spend too much time online during my breaks.

The question asks about current habitual behavior. Use present simple 'spend' to indicate a habitual action. Also 'during my break' is ambiguous; plural 'breaks' or 'my breaks' is more natural for repeated behavior.

× I always tend to check my phone, browse random things, view some influencer and look for any products that that I might need to buy.

✓ I tend to check my phone, browse random things, view influencers, and look for products that I might need to buy.

Remove the redundant 'always' with 'tend to' (or keep one), correct duplicated 'that that' to a single 'that', use plural 'influencers' for generality, and include the Oxford comma for clarity. Present simple fits habitual actions.

× If I don't have an Internet, I will do some house chores like laundry, ironing my clothes, sweeping the floor, and maybe take a quick run in the neighborhood without any electronic devices.

✓ If I don't have the internet, I will do some housework like laundry, ironing my clothes, sweeping the floor, and maybe take a quick run in the neighborhood without any electronic devices.

Use 'the internet' (definite article) and 'housework' instead of 'house chores' which is more natural. The conditional structure is fine (first conditional). Keep parallel gerunds/infinitives: after 'will' maintain base verbs or noun phrases as listed; this sentence is now parallel and natural.