Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: state a clear topic sentence with accurate grammar, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., “used to”) and finish the sentence. Use linking words like “for example” or “because.”

예시: I started using the internet when I was seven. At that time I used it mainly for schoolwork because it helped me find answers to difficult questions, for example by looking up explanations and educational videos.

제안: Give a direct frequency statement first (daily/weekly), then explain with concise reasons. Use linking phrases like “because” or “so” and avoid vague phrases (“they might”).

예시: I go online several times a day because I keep in touch with long-distance family and friends. For example, I usually video-call them in the evening to check on their health and share what I am doing.

제안: Clarify the incident with correct vocabulary and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence summarizing when and why you were banned, then give one or two specific details. Avoid awkward phrases and irrelevant comments.

예시: Yes. Once my parents banned me from using the internet for a week because I spent hours on Messenger talking with my boyfriend. They were worried I was neglecting my studies, so they restricted my access until I improved my schoolwork.

제안: Give a clear opinion and then give specific examples of how you waste time and one step you are taking to change. Use smoother phrasing and avoid invented words like “novices.”

예시: Yes, I think I spend too much time online, mainly scrolling memes and chatting about unimportant things. For example, I often lose an hour in the evening; to fix this I now set a 30‑minute limit for social media each day.

제안: Answer directly with a hypothetical statement, then give two specific alternatives you would use without the internet (books, maps, asking people). Be concise and correct grammar and avoid repeating words.

예시: Without the internet, I would rely more on books and asking people for advice. For sightseeing, I would use paper maps and local tourist information centres instead of Google Maps.

× Here when I was seven years old, I used to initiate the service of Internet.

✓ When I was seven years old, I started using the Internet service.

The original uses 'initiate the service of Internet' which is unnatural; use the verb 'start' with 'using' and the preposition and article 'the Internet service' for correct collocation. Also remove redundant 'Here'. Improve by saying 'When I was seven years old, I started using the Internet service.'

× At that time I used to do all my homeworks using the network service.

✓ At that time I used to do all my homework using the network service.

'Homeworks' is not standard English; 'homework' is an uncountable noun so do not pluralize it. Use 'homework' to refer to school assignments in general.

× That really helps me to guide the difficult questions.

✓ That really helped me with difficult questions.

The exam question asks about past experience, so use past tense 'helped'. Also 'guide the difficult questions' is incorrect collocation; use 'helped me with difficult questions.' This matches past tense issue (ID 5).

× So I.

✓ So I found it very useful.

Original is an incomplete sentence fragment. Provide a complete clause to finish the thought. Use a past-tense verb to match previous statements.

× Actually, I do often go online because I need to talk to my long distance family and friends.

✓ Actually, I often go online because I need to talk to my long-distance family and friends.

Place adverb 'often' before the main verb 'go' for natural English. Also use the hyphenated adjective 'long-distance'. This fixes adverb placement and adjective form.

× When I am online then they might see me, they might contact me to ask about my health and to ask about what I am doing.

✓ When I am online, they often see me and contact me to ask about my health and what I am doing.

Using 'might' twice makes the statement uncertain; present simple with 'often' is more natural. Also remove 'then' which is unnecessary. This addresses modal verb usage (ID 4) and adverb placement.

× So I usually go online at.

✓ So I usually go online every day.

Original ends abruptly without specifying frequency. Provide a complete time expression that fits the context.

× I remember the time where I wasn't allowed, where I was prohibited to use the engineer service when I used to be in messenger call a long time with my boyfriend.

✓ I remember a time when I wasn't allowed to use the Internet service because I was on long Messenger calls with my boyfriend.

Use 'a time when' not 'where'; 'prohibited to use' is awkward—use 'wasn't allowed to use'. 'Engineer service' is incorrect; likely 'Internet service'. 'Used to be in messenger call a long time' is ungrammatical; use 'was on long Messenger calls'. This fixes preposition and sentence structure issues.

× Then my family used to scold me for using the Internet.

✓ Then my family would scold me for using the Internet.

'Used to' can indicate past habit, but 'would scold' is more idiomatic when describing repeated past actions in narration. Both are possible; 'would scold' clarifies habitual past.

× They scold me for miss you.

✓ They scolded me because they missed me.

Original mixes present tense and wrong pronoun 'miss you'. Use past tense 'scolded' to match earlier past context and 'they missed me' to convey the intended meaning. This fixes pronoun misuse and sentence structure.

× Yes, I am now realizing that I am using a lot time, my valuable and precious time for being online, just wasting scrolling all the memes and talking to a lot of friends with very nonsense stops.

✓ Yes, I now realize that I am spending a lot of my valuable time online, just mindlessly scrolling through memes and talking to many friends about trivial things.

Use present simple 'realize' for general awareness; replace 'using a lot time' with 'spending a lot of my valuable time'. 'Being online' should be 'online'. 'Wasting scrolling all the memes' is incorrect — use 'mindlessly scrolling through memes'. 'A lot of friends' -> 'many friends'; 'very nonsense stops' is unclear—use 'trivial things'. This addresses present tense, prepositions, and adjective/adverb usage.

× So I am doing a lot of novices through online.

✓ So I am doing a lot of novice things online.

'Novices' is the wrong word (means beginners). Likely intended 'nonsense' or 'novice activities' is unclear; 'novice things' still odd. Better: 'engaging in many pointless activities online.' Use correct noun forms and word choice.

× Will I haven't met my life without Internet because use only the Google service that helps me to explore different types of ideas to to identify different difficulties and it's the Google map that helps to guide me for travelling whereas it helps various.

✓ I cannot imagine my life without the Internet because I use Google services to explore ideas, identify problems, and Google Maps helps me with travel directions.

Original mixes incorrect auxiliary 'Will I haven't met', wrong tense, and repetition 'to to'. Use 'I cannot imagine' to express inability to picture life without the Internet. Use present simple 'I use' for habitual actions and 'Google Maps helps' for correct subject-verb agreement. Remove unclear phrase 'whereas it helps various' and replace with a clear function. This fixes sentence structure, verb tense, and word choice.