Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more structured by starting with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific supporting details. Avoid informal phrases like 'you know' and use correct grammar, for example, 'the Internet' instead of 'Internet'. Also, keep your answer concise and avoid redundancy.

예시: I started using the Internet when I was 16 years old. It has been very helpful for learning and communication. However, sometimes it can be distracting because there is a lot of unrelated content online.

제안: Begin with a direct answer to the question, then explain your reasons clearly using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid informal expressions such as 'you know' and improve grammar, for example, 'it distracts me' instead of 'it distract me'.

예시: I rarely go online because it distracts me from my important work. Therefore, I only use the Internet when it is necessary or when I have some important tasks to complete.

제안: Make sure to use correct grammar, such as 'my father didn't allow me' and 'the Internet'. Also, provide a clear and complete explanation with linking words to connect ideas logically. Avoid incomplete sentences and clarify your points.

예시: Yes, when I was in class 12, my father did not allow me to use the Internet because I had a heavy study load. He wanted me to focus on my studies to achieve good grades.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer, then use linking words like 'however' or 'sometimes' to add supporting details. Improve sentence structure and grammar, for example, 'I use the Internet' instead of 'I use Internet'. Also, be more specific about the techniques you look for.

예시: No, I don't think I spend too much time online. However, during my leisure time, I sometimes use the Internet to browse information related to my work. As a social worker, I often look for new methods to help the community.

제안: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to give a clear opinion with supporting reasons. Use correct grammar and vocabulary, and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, explain why you think the Internet is hazardous with specific examples.

예시: Without the Internet, I believe our community and I would face challenges because we rely on it for communication and information. However, I am concerned about the potential health hazards from Wi-Fi signals and towers, which some people believe can be harmful.

× I have been using Internet since I was 16 and you know it is very helpful in many ways but it also distract people from their goal because there are lots of stuff on the web.

✓ I have been using the Internet since I was 16 and you know it is very helpful in many ways but it also distracts people from their goals because there is lots of stuff on the web.

The verb 'distract' should be in the third person singular form 'distracts' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'Internet' needs the definite article 'the' before it. 'Stuff' is uncountable, so 'lots of stuff' is correct, but 'there are' should be 'there is' because 'stuff' is singular. 'Goal' should be plural 'goals' to match 'people'.

× I rarely go online because it is very destructive thing, you know, it distract me from my important work.

✓ I rarely go online because it is a very destructive thing, you know, it distracts me from my important work.

The verb 'distract' should be in the third person singular form 'distracts' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, the article 'a' is missing before 'very destructive thing'.

× That's why I don't use Internet on a daily basis.

✓ That's why I don't use the Internet on a daily basis.

The noun 'Internet' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to the global network.

× Yes, when I was in class 12, then my father don't allow me to use Internet because it's a lot.

✓ Yes, when I was in class 12, my father didn't allow me to use the Internet because it was a lot.

The verb 'don't allow' is incorrect for past tense; it should be 'didn't allow'. Also, 'Internet' needs the definite article 'the'. 'It's a lot' is unclear; 'it was a lot' fits better in past tense context.

× There is a lot of burden related to study, so I have to study a lot to get a greater percentage in my.

✓ There was a lot of burden related to my studies, so I had to study a lot to get a higher percentage in my exams.

The sentence lacks clarity and correct tense. 'There is' should be 'There was' to match past context. 'Burden related to study' should be 'burden related to my studies'. 'Greater percentage in my' is incomplete; it should specify 'in my exams'.

× No, I don't think so, but sometimes when in my leisure time I use Internet like surfing or browsing some things like related to my work.

✓ No, I don't think so, but sometimes in my leisure time I use the Internet for surfing or browsing things related to my work.

'Use Internet' needs the article 'the'. The phrase 'like surfing or browsing some things like related to my work' is awkward; 'for surfing or browsing things related to my work' is clearer.

× As I'm a social worker, I usually try to find out some techniques to tackle community.

✓ As I'm a social worker, I usually try to find out some techniques to tackle the community.

The noun 'community' here is specific and requires the definite article 'the'.

× It would be better for our community and for myself when we wouldn't use Internet because it is very hazardous.

✓ It would be better for our community and for myself if we didn't use the Internet because it is very hazardous.

The conditional sentence requires 'if we didn't use' instead of 'when we wouldn't use'. Also, 'Internet' needs the definite article 'the'.

× The raise came from Internet like Wi-Fi or towers of Internet are very hazardous. They.

✓ The radiation from the Internet, like Wi-Fi or Internet towers, is very hazardous.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'Raise' is incorrect; likely 'radiation' is intended. 'Towers of Internet' should be 'Internet towers'. The sentence needs to be completed properly.