Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant but a bit lengthy and slightly repetitive. Try to be more concise and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, you can say, "I started using the Internet when I was in 10th standard because I got my first mobile phone then, and the first thing I did was create an e-mail account as it was necessary for me."

예시: I started using the Internet in 10th standard when I got my first mobile phone. Since having an e-mail account was essential, I created one immediately to stay connected.

제안: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using linking words and more precise vocabulary. Avoid phrases like "doing chatting"; instead, say "chatting." Also, try to combine sentences for better flow.

예시: I usually spend 3 to 4 hours online because I enjoy chatting with my friends and scrolling through videos on platforms like Instagram and Snapchat, which increases my screen time.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use correct tenses and vocabulary. For example, say "During my 12th standard, my parents did not allow me to use the Internet or mobile phone because it was important for me to focus on my studies. They took my phone away, which had a positive impact on my academic performance."

예시: During my 12th standard, my parents did not allow me to use the Internet or mobile phone because they wanted me to concentrate on my studies. They took my phone away, and this helped me achieve better marks.

제안: Your answer is good but can be improved by avoiding informal phrases like "like 4 to 5 hours" and by using linking words for coherence. For example, "Yes, I do spend too much time online, approximately 4 to 5 hours daily, which negatively affects my health. Therefore, I believe limiting screen time to one or two hours is sufficient."

예시: Yes, I spend about 4 to 5 hours daily on my mobile phone, which adversely affects my health. Therefore, I think limiting screen time to one or two hours is better.

제안: Your answer is relevant but somewhat repetitive and contains grammatical errors. Try to be concise and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "Honestly, I cannot imagine life without the Internet because I depend on my mobile phone for many tasks such as booking tickets and cash transactions. Nowadays, most youngsters rely heavily on mobile phones, making it difficult to live without the Internet."

예시: Honestly, I cannot imagine life without the Internet because I rely on my mobile phone for tasks like booking tickets and cash transactions. Most youngsters today depend on mobile phones, so living without the Internet seems impossible.

× I usually spend 3 to 4 hours on Internet because I love doing chatting with my friends and scrolling videos on online platforms like Instagram, Snapchat.

✓ I usually spend 3 to 4 hours on the Internet because I love chatting with my friends and scrolling through videos on online platforms like Instagram and Snapchat.

The word 'Internet' requires the definite article 'the' before it. 'Doing chatting' is incorrect; 'chatting' alone is the correct gerund form. Also, 'scrolling videos' should be 'scrolling through videos' to correctly express the action. 'On online platforms' is better as 'on online platforms like Instagram and Snapchat' with proper conjunctions.

× I usually spend 3 to 4 hours on Internet because I love doing chatting with my friends and scrolling videos on online platforms like Instagram, Snapchat.

✓ I usually spend 3 to 4 hours on the Internet because I love chatting with my friends and scrolling through videos on online platforms like Instagram and Snapchat.

The preposition 'on' is correctly used with 'the Internet', but 'scrolling videos on online platforms' should be 'scrolling through videos on online platforms' to indicate the action of browsing or watching videos.

× I got my first mobile phone after completing my 10th standard and the first thing I did in my mobile was to make an e-mail account because it is very necessary for me.

✓ I got my first mobile phone after completing my 10th standard and the first thing I did on my mobile was to create an e-mail account because it was very necessary for me.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect here; 'on my mobile' is the correct phrase to indicate the device used. Also, 'make an e-mail account' is better expressed as 'create an e-mail account'. The tense 'is' should be 'was' to match the past context.

× I got my first mobile phone after completing my 10th standard and the first thing I did in my mobile was to make an e-mail account because it is very necessary for me.

✓ I got my first mobile phone after completing my 10th standard and the first thing I did on my mobile was to create an e-mail account because it was very necessary for me.

The phrase 'it is very necessary for me' should be in past tense 'it was very necessary for me' to maintain consistency with the past events described.

× Uh, yes, I remember an incident when my parents did not allot me to use the Internet, specially the mobile phone also because in my 12th tender it's very necessary for me to getting a good marks for higher opportunities.

✓ Uh, yes, I remember an incident when my parents did not allow me to use the Internet, especially the mobile phone, because in my 12th standard it was very necessary for me to get good marks for better opportunities.

'Did not allot me to use' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'did not allow me to use'. 'Specially' should be 'especially'. '12th tender' is a mistake; it should be '12th standard'. 'It's' should be 'it was' to match past tense. 'To getting' should be 'to get'. 'A good marks' is incorrect; 'good marks' is uncountable and does not need 'a'. 'Higher opportunities' is better expressed as 'better opportunities'.

× Uh, yes, I remember an incident when my parents did not allot me to use the Internet, specially the mobile phone also because in my 12th tender it's very necessary for me to getting a good marks for higher opportunities.

✓ Uh, yes, I remember an incident when my parents did not allow me to use the Internet, especially the mobile phone, because in my 12th standard it was very necessary for me to get good marks for better opportunities.

The sentence describes a past event, so verbs and expressions should be in past tense: 'did not allow', 'it was', and 'to get' instead of 'to getting'.

× So at that time my parents snatching my phone and did not allow me to use any kind of online platforms.

✓ So at that time my parents snatched my phone and did not allow me to use any kind of online platforms.

'Snatching' is present participle and incorrect here; the past tense 'snatched' should be used to describe a completed action in the past.

× But it has a very good impact on my life on my desert.

✓ But it had a very good impact on my life and my desert.

'Has' should be 'had' to maintain past tense. The phrase 'on my life on my desert' is unclear; likely intended 'on my life and my desert' or 'on my life and my dessert' depending on context. Assuming 'desert' is a typo or misused word, it should be clarified. Also, 'impact on' is correct preposition.

× Sure I do. I think I spend too much time online because I spend like 4 to 5 hours on the mobile phone, which is very wrong and it has a very detrimental impact on my health.

✓ Sure I do. I think I spend too much time online because I spend about 4 to 5 hours on the mobile phone, which is very bad and has a very detrimental impact on my health.

'Like' is informal and should be replaced with 'about' for clarity. 'Which is very wrong' is awkward; 'which is very bad' is more appropriate. 'It has' can be simplified to 'has' to avoid redundancy.

× Honestly, I do not imagine myself without the Internet because I totally depend on the mobile phones or cell phones.

✓ Honestly, I cannot imagine myself without the Internet because I totally depend on mobile phones or cell phones.

'Do not imagine' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'cannot imagine'. Also, 'depend on the mobile phones' should be 'depend on mobile phones' without 'the' as it refers to mobile phones in general.

× Not only me but all kind of youngsters Nowadays people are totally dependent on mobile phone, like they do all kind of things on their mobile phones like booking a ticket online, cash transactions, everything.

✓ Not only me but all kinds of youngsters nowadays are totally dependent on mobile phones; they do all kinds of things on their mobile phones like booking tickets online, cash transactions, everything.

'Not only me' should be 'Not only I' or better rephrased. 'All kind' should be 'all kinds'. 'Nowadays' should not be capitalized. 'Mobile phone' should be plural 'mobile phones' to match 'all kinds of youngsters'. 'Booking a ticket' should be 'booking tickets' to generalize. 'Cash transactions' is fine but should be parallel in the list.