Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は質問に直接答えていますが、言葉の繰り返しや曖昧な表現（"uh"など）が多く、自然さに欠けます。また、文法的な誤り（"friends are surrounding me uses"）があり、内容もやや不明瞭です。より明確で簡潔な表現を心がけ、具体的な詳細を加えると良いでしょう。

예시: I started using the internet when I was 10 years old, around 2001. At that time, Windows 98 was very popular among my friends, and I have fond memories of those early days online.

제안: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤り（"I always be connected"）、不自然な表現（"summer communication"）があり、意味が伝わりにくいです。より正確な文法と語彙を使い、具体的な理由を明確に述べることが必要です。

예시: I am online almost all the time because I use smartphone apps like Microsoft Teams for work, and I need to check messages from my colleagues regularly.

제안: 文法の誤りや不自然な表現が多く、意味が不明瞭です（"You do a time construction"など）。過去形の使用や正しい語順に注意し、具体的な状況や感情を明確に述べることが重要です。

예시: Yes, when I was a child, my parents often told me not to spend too much time browsing the internet because they wanted me to focus on other activities.

제안: 表現が不自然で意味が伝わりにくいです（"the spirit of the connection to the Internet"など）。より簡潔で明確な表現を使い、理由を具体的に述べることが必要です。

예시: Yes, I think I spend too much time online because there is an overwhelming amount of information available, and I often find myself using my smartphone for long periods, which is not healthy.

제안: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤り（"in the nature"）、不自然な表現（"Internet environments"）があります。より自然な表現を使い、理由をもう少し詳しく述べると良いでしょう。

예시: If there were no internet, I would spend more time outdoors, enjoying nature like mountains, rivers, and the sea, because I prefer a simple life away from technology.

× almost all friends are surrounding me uses that version.

✓ almost all friends surrounding me use that version.

The subject 'friends' is plural, so the verb should be 'use' instead of 'uses'. Also, 'are surrounding me' is awkward; 'surrounding me' is better here.

× I always be connected with the online.

✓ I am always connected online.

The phrase 'connected with the online' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'connected online' or 'connected to the internet'. Also, 'always be' is incorrect; it should be 'am always'.

× my parents are always told me that you don't use so much time for the browsing.

✓ my parents always told me that I shouldn't spend so much time browsing.

The pronoun 'you' is incorrect here; it should be 'I' to refer to the speaker. Also, 'are always told me' is incorrect; it should be 'always told me'.

× they don't, they didn't want me to.

✓ they didn't want me to.

The phrase 'they don't, they didn't want me to' is inconsistent in tense. Since referring to past, 'they didn't want me to' is correct.

× the spirit of the connection to the Internet and the supply of the information is overflowed it

✓ the spirit of connection to the Internet and the supply of information has overflowed

'Overflowed it' is incorrect usage. Also, 'the supply of the information' should be 'the supply of information' without 'the'. The verb should agree with the subject and be in present perfect tense here.

× we spend a lot of time using smartphone, it's not so good.

✓ we spend a lot of time using smartphones; it's not so good.

'Smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones' because it refers to devices in general.

× I would spend a lot of time in the nature such as a mountain, river and the sea if there were no Internet environments.

✓ I would spend a lot of time in nature, such as mountains, rivers, and the sea, if there were no internet.

'In the nature' is incorrect; it should be 'in nature' without 'the'. Also, 'a mountain, river and the sea' should be plural and consistent. 'Internet environments' is awkward; 'internet' suffices.