Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid long run-on sentences and incorrect words (e.g., use "frills" or "streamers" not "frails"; tense consistency: use past simple for childhood events).

예시: Yes, I did. I had a small pink bicycle with streamers on the handlebars, and my mother often took me for rides around our apartment complex. However, after a few years without practice I forgot how to ride and had to relearn, which I found frustrating.

제안: Give a clearer, structured opinion with specific reasons and a linking phrase. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., "unsafe" instead of "safely" in that context) and avoid vague terms like "recession" unless you explain. Combine ideas into two or three sentences: clear opinion, two specific reasons, and a brief example or consequence.

예시: Not really — cycling is less common where I live. I think this is because public transport and private cars are more convenient, and there are few safe bike lanes, which discourages people, especially women, from cycling. As a result, fewer people choose bikes for daily travel.

× Oh I did have one, actually.

✓ Oh, I did have one, actually.

Add a comma after an introductory interjection 'Oh' for punctuation clarity; grammatically the sentence is acceptable because 'did have' is the emphatic past form. Suggestion: keep the auxiliary 'did' only to add emphasis and include appropriate punctuation.

× I had a pink one with frails on the side of the handles and my mom would Take Me Out so I could enjoy a ride outside in the apartment complex that we lived when I was a child.

✓ I had a pink one with frills on the sides of the handlebars, and my mom would take me out so I could enjoy a ride around the apartment complex where we lived when I was a child.

Several issues: 'frails' is incorrect — the correct noun is 'frills' (spelling). 'on the side of the handles' should be 'on the sides of the handlebars' for correct noun choice and plural agreement. 'Take Me Out' has incorrect capitalization; verbs should be lowercase. 'ride outside in the apartment complex that we lived' is awkward; use 'ride around the apartment complex where we lived.' Suggestions: use correct vocabulary ('frills', 'handlebars'), match plurals ('sides'), use standard capitalization, and use 'where' to refer to location.

× It was fun, but until a couple years later, because I haven't practiced, I forgot how to ride a bike so I had to learn it all again, which was not enjoyable.

✓ It was fun, but a couple of years later, because I hadn't practiced, I forgot how to ride a bike, so I had to learn all over again, which was not enjoyable.

Tense sequence and time expressions: 'until a couple years later' is incorrect; use 'a couple of years later.' 'I haven't practiced' is present perfect and conflicts with the past context — use past perfect 'I hadn't practiced' to show the lack of practice before forgetting. 'forgot' is simple past and fits. 'learn it all again' is awkward; 'learn all over again' is idiomatic. Suggestions: maintain correct past perfect for an action before another past action and use idiomatic expressions.

× It's been a while since I've seen anyone riding around in a bike where I live, but I think since how popular the public transportation and personal cars have gotten nowadays people don't feel the need to ride around in bikes anymore and nor find them safely.

✓ It's been a while since I've seen anyone riding a bike where I live, but I think because public transportation and personal cars have become so popular nowadays, people don't feel the need to ride bikes anymore and don't find them safe.

Several tense and usage issues: 'riding around in a bike' is incorrect — say 'riding a bike' or 'riding around on a bike.' 'since how popular' is ungrammatical; use 'because' or 'since' followed by a clause: 'because public transportation and personal cars have become so popular.' 'have gotten' is informal; 'have become' is better. 'nor find them safely' is incorrect: use 'don't find them safe.' Also remove redundant words and streamline sentence. Suggestions: choose correct preposition ('on' or none), correct causative connectors, and use proper adjective 'safe.'

× Especially women unfortunately.

✓ This is especially true for women, unfortunately.

'Especially women unfortunately' is a fragment and lacks a verb or clear connection. Rephrase to a full clause: 'This is especially true for women, unfortunately.' Suggestion: ensure each sentence has a subject and verb and link it to the previous idea.

× So I think it may definitely point to a recession.

✓ So I think it may definitely indicate a decline in cycling.

'Point to a recession' is confusing and possibly inaccurate in this context; the student likely means a decline in cycling popularity or usage. 'Point to' can be used, but 'indicate a decline in cycling' is clearer. Also 'may definitely' is contradictory (may = possibility, definitely = certainty); use one: 'may indicate' or 'definitely indicates.' Suggestion: avoid combining modal possibility and certainty and choose precise vocabulary.