Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words (umm, I did). Mention a concrete memory or reason to make the answer more vivid.

예시: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. However, I wanted one for years because I loved the freedom of riding to a friend’s house. When I finally bought a bike at 17, I used it to commute to school and explore my neighborhood, which was great for my independence.

제안: Expand briefly with a specific reason or example and use a linking word to connect ideas. Replace vague phrasing (‘not just for fun’) with concrete functions (commuting, delivery, exercise). Keep it to two or three sentences and avoid filler words.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them for daily commuting and short errands. For example, delivery riders and students often prefer bikes since they are cheap and can navigate traffic more easily.

× No, I didn't, but I've always wanted to.

✓ No, I didn't, but I always wanted one.

Mixed tense and incomplete object: 'I've always wanted to' (present perfect) suggests a continuing desire, but the student then uses past context; also the object 'to' lacks a verb or noun ('to have' or 'one'). Changing to 'I always wanted one' keeps past reference consistent with the question about childhood and supplies the missing object.

× I always wanted to buy when I was a child.

✓ I always wanted to buy one when I was a child.

Missing direct object after 'buy' makes the sentence incomplete. Add 'one' to indicate the item (a bike). The tense 'wanted' correctly reflects past desire.

× Unfortunately, I got a bike, umm, when I, when I reached 17 years.

✓ Unfortunately, I got a bike when I was 17.

Awkward phrasing 'reached 17 years' is incorrect in English. Use 'was 17' or 'turned 17'. Also remove filler repetition. This keeps past tense consistent.

× But it was OK.

✓ But it was okay.

No major grammar error; 'OK' is acceptable but spelling 'okay' is more standard in formal speech. Keep as is if informal.

× I did enjoy it though.

✓ I did enjoy it, though.

'I did enjoy it' emphasizes enjoyment; adding a comma before 'though' improves flow. No major grammar fault.

× I did. I thought, yeah.

✓ I did. I thought so, yes.

Original is fragmented and colloquial. 'I thought so, yes' clarifies the affirmation. This is stylistic rather than strict grammar.

× Bikes are definitely popular in my country.

✓ Bicycles are definitely popular in my country.

'Bikes' is informal but acceptable. Changing to 'bicycles' is a stylistic suggestion. No grammatical error.

× They are used as transportation devices, not just for fun and umm.

✓ They are used for transportation, not just for fun.

'Used as transportation devices' is wordy; 'used for transportation' is natural. Remove trailing filler 'umm'. Also 'transportation' does not require 'devices'.

× Yeah, that's it.

✓ Yes, that's it.

'Yeah' is informal; 'Yes, that's it' is clearer. The original is conversational but not ungrammatical; this is a stylistic improvement.