Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and simplify your answer. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two clear supporting details. Remove irrelevant words and incorrect phrases. Use correct tense and simple linking words (for example, “when” or “because”). Keep it to 2–4 sentences to sound natural and coherent.

예시: Yes. I had a bike when I was a child. It was a red bike that my parents gave me for my seventh birthday, and I loved riding it around our neighborhood. Because it was lightweight and had training wheels at first, I learned to ride quickly and had a lot of fun.

제안: Be more specific and correct grammar. Begin with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons or examples linked by connectors such as “because” or “for example.” Avoid unclear phrases and check subject-verb agreement. Keep it concise (2–3 sentences).

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in rural areas. For example, many people in my village use bicycles to travel to nearby markets because they are cheap and convenient. As a result, cycling is a common and practical way to get around.

× PSI Hadoop, Baikal. I was a child.

✓ When I was a child, I lived in PSI Hadoop, Baikal.

The original fragments are disordered and missing connectors; 'I was a child' is a time clause that should introduce where the person lived. Rewriting as a single sentence with the time clause 'When I was a child' clarifies meaning and corrects sentence structure.

× My first bike was a red coloured bike which was shifted from appearance when I was 7 and it was my birthday gift.

✓ My first bike was a red bike that I received on my 7th birthday as a gift.

'Red coloured bike' is redundant; use 'red bike'. 'Which was shifted from appearance' is incorrect and unclear. Use 'that I received' to indicate receiving a gift. Also use '7th' for ordinal age and simplify sentence for clarity.

× It was really fun riding it.

✓ Riding it was really fun.

The original is understandable but slightly awkward; placing the gerund phrase 'Riding it' as the subject reads more naturally. Tense (past) is appropriate so this is a stylistic improvement rather than tense correction.

× Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in the region I live.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially in the region where I live.

The clause needs a relative adverb 'where' to connect 'region' and 'I live'. Without it the clause is ungrammatical.

× I live in a village who is so keeper Mosul ride bicycles to get into near nearby areas and people enjoy riding bikes in my country.

✓ I live in a village where many people ride bicycles to get to nearby areas, and people in my country enjoy riding bikes.

'Village' requires the relative pronoun 'where', not 'who'. 'So keeper Mosul' is unintelligible; likely intended meaning is 'many people'. 'Get into near nearby areas' is incorrect; use 'get to nearby areas'. Split into two coordinated clauses for clarity and correct pronoun and preposition use.