Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use past tense consistently, correct verb forms, and avoid redundancy. Add a brief linking phrase for clarity.

예시: Yes, I did. It was the first bike my father bought me, and I loved it because I felt very independent. However, I accidentally broke it once while riding too fast down a small slope.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and organize supporting details with clear linking words. Use correct tense and avoid filler words and repetition. Provide specific examples or timelines to support your view and use plural/singular correctly.

예시: Yes, bicycles have been very popular in Vietnam, especially until about 10–15 years ago. At that time, many families relied on bicycles as their main means of transport, so most children learned to ride by the time they were young. Nowadays motorbikes are more common, but bicycles are still used in rural areas.

× Yes I did and I love that really much because that was the first bike that my dad bought for me and but unfortunately that I break it during one times.

✓ Yes, I did, and I loved it very much because it was the first bike my dad bought for me, but unfortunately I broke it once.

Multiple past-tense verbs and time expressions must match. The student began with 'Yes I did' (past), so verbs should be past: 'love' -> 'loved'; 'that' as object reference is awkward -> 'it'; 'really much' is non-idiomatic -> 'very much'; 'and but' is redundant -> use 'but' only; 'that I break it during one times' is incorrect: 'break' should be past 'broke', 'during' and 'one times' are wrong -> use 'once'. Suggested improvement: maintain consistent past tense for past events, use idiomatic adverbs and concise connectors. Please note: This correction addresses Past tense issue (ID 5) and Sentence structure problems that relate to tense consistency.

× Uh, of course, especially in, in Vietnam, everyone they used to back then for like 10 years or 15 years ago, everyone's the, the, the man transport vehicle that's was bicycle.

✓ Uh, of course, especially in Vietnam, people used to, about 10 or 15 years ago, the main means of transport was the bicycle.

The sentence mixes pronouns and time references and uses incorrect verb forms. 'everyone they' is a redundant subject -> use 'people' or 'everyone'; 'used to back then for like 10 years or 15 years ago' is redundant and ungrammatical -> 'about 10 or 15 years ago people used to' or 'used to, about 10 or 15 years ago'; 'man transport vehicle' is incorrect word order and word choice -> 'main means of transport'; 'that's was bicycle' mixes contraction and past tense -> 'was the bicycle'. Suggested improvement: simplify subject to 'people', place time expressions clearly, and use correct noun phrases and past tense verb 'was'. This correction addresses Present tense issue (ID 6) because the student incorrectly used present constructions when referring to past habits.

× So I think every kids at that time know how to ride a bicycle.

✓ So I think every kid at that time knew how to ride a bicycle.

'Every' requires a singular noun -> 'every kid' not 'every kids'. Also the time reference is past, so verb should be past: 'know' -> 'knew'. Suggested improvement: remember 'every' + singular noun, and keep verb tense consistent with time expressions.