Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant but disorganized, repetitive and contains incomplete thoughts. Improve by giving a clear topic sentence, one or two concise supporting details, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because/so/then) to make the sequence clear. Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences and finish the story logically.

예시: Yes, I had a bike as a child. I received it as a Christmas gift when I was about eight, and I often rode it with my brother. However, we sometimes argued over turns, and once we accidentally rode through fresh paint near our countryside house, which ruined our shoes.

제안: Your answer addresses the question and gives relevant reasons, but it is hesitant, contains repetitions and an unfinished ending. Improve by stating your main opinion clearly, then give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, however, because, on the other hand). Use precise vocabulary (commute, recreational cycling) and finish the final sentence fully.

예시: Yes, bicycles are popular in Brazil, but their use depends on the city. In large cities like São Paulo, people usually commute by subway or car because of long distances and traffic. However, recreational cycling has become very popular recently, with many people riding bikes for exercise and leisure on weekends.

× Yes, when I was a child, I had a bike.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I had a bike.

This sentence is correct in past tense and matches the time reference 'when I was a child'. No change needed.

× I got a bicycle as a gift, a Christmas gift when I was when I was around 8 years old, me and my brother, but we were fighting and then we were literally like my family.

✓ I got a bicycle as a Christmas gift when I was around eight years old. My brother and I were fighting, and then...

The original sentence is run-on, contains repetition ('when I was when I was'), and has incorrect word order ('me and my brother' should be 'my brother and I'). Split into two sentences and correct pronoun order to improve clarity. Spell out numbers under ten in formal writing.

× They were painting the sidewalks from the countryside house and the paint was black and.

✓ They were painting the sidewalks at the country house, and the paint was black.

Preposition 'from' is incorrect for location; use 'at' or 'around'. The clause ended abruptly with 'and.' Complete the sentence by removing the trailing conjunction and ensuring it finishes with a complete thought.

× Yes, I do think bicycles are popular in Brazil, but at the same time you don't see much people using it because especially in Sao Paulo, because it's a big city, it's better to use subways than bicycles.

✓ Yes, I do think bicycles are popular in Brazil, but at the same time you don't see many people using them. Especially in Sao Paulo, because it's a big city, it is better to use the subway than bicycles.

Use 'many people' (quantifier) instead of 'much people' and plural pronoun 'them' for 'people'. 'Subways' should be singular 'the subway' when referring to the system in a city. Avoid redundant 'because' and maintain consistent present tense.

× But for sure now everyone is bicycling for like as a kind of a sport.

✓ But for sure now many people bicycle more for sport.

The phrase 'everyone is bicycling for like as a kind of a sport' is informal and awkward. Replace 'everyone' with 'many people' (more accurate) and use 'bicycle' as a verb or 'are bicycling' without filler words like 'like' and 'as'. Keep present progressive if emphasizing current trend.

× So it's very.

✓ So it's very popular.

Original fragment 'So it's very.' is incomplete. Add an adjective such as 'popular' to complete the sentence and convey the intended meaning.