Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and follow a clear structure: start with a direct topic sentence, add one or two specific supporting details, and finish with a short conclusion. Avoid redundancy and long clauses. Use linking words (for example, "however", "after") correctly and keep answer within three sentences.

예시: Yes. I had a small white bicycle that originally belonged to my father, so it looked quite boyish. However, I was scared at first and have few memories until my dad patiently taught me to ride, after which I became much more confident.

제안: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion first, then provide two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrasing and grammatical errors (e.g., "they're riding a bike" -> "riding bikes"). Use precise vocabulary and shorter sentences to improve clarity.

예시: I think bikes are less popular now than they used to be. For one, people prefer motor transport because it is faster; in addition, many people spend more leisure time on phones and computers, so they cycle less often.

× Yes, I had a small white bicycle which actually belonged to my dad in the past, so it was designed for boys.

✓ Yes, I had a small white bicycle that actually belonged to my dad, so it was designed for boys.

Replace 'which' with 'that' for defining relative clause referring to the specific bicycle; remove redundant 'in the past' because 'had' and 'belonged' already indicate past. This keeps past tense consistent and avoids unnecessary phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'that' for essential clauses and avoid redundant time expressions.

× Although I was really scared to ride it, so I don't really have much memories with the bike.

✓ Although I was really scared to ride it, I don't have many memories of the bike.

Two issues: starting with 'Although' creates a subordinate clause and should not be followed by 'so'; remove 'so' and use present simple 'don't have' to express a general lack of memories. Use 'many' with countable noun 'memories' and 'of' for correct preposition. Suggestion: Do not combine 'Although' and 'so' in one sentence; choose one connector and match noun quantifier.

× But after my dad helped me and taught me how to ride a bike, I was more comfortable with it.

✓ But after my dad helped me and taught me how to ride a bike, I became more comfortable with it.

Use 'became' instead of 'was' to describe a change of state resulting from an action in the past. 'Was more comfortable' is not wrong grammatically, but 'became more comfortable' is clearer to express the transition. Suggestion: Use verbs that show change (become) when describing resulting states.

× I want to answer to this question in general, like considering all the other countries because I think they're riding a bike has been less popular than how it was in the past because how technology improved and people don't really enjoy or prefer riding a bike anymore because they have their phones like televisions, computers and they just prefer that.

✓ I want to answer this question in general, considering other countries, because I think riding a bike has become less popular than it was in the past as technology has improved and people no longer enjoy or prefer riding bikes; they have phones, televisions and computers, and they just prefer those.

Multiple issues: remove unnecessary 'to' after 'answer'; 'they're riding a bike' is ungrammatical—use gerund 'riding a bike' as subject; use present perfect 'has become' or present perfect 'has improved' to link past change to present; replace 'how it was' with 'it was'; use 'no longer' and plural 'bikes' for general statement; fix list punctuation and pronoun reference ('those' refers to devices). Suggestions: Keep sentence structure simpler, use correct verb forms (present perfect for changes over time), avoid redundant words like 'how' and 'like' in formal responses.