Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give one or two specific supporting details (who bought it, a distinctive feature, and one reason why you liked it). Reduce fillers (uh, um) and correct small grammar issues (use 'I owned' or 'I had', and 'it had a beautiful yellow bag' or 'it was yellow'). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences and use a linking word when adding details (for example, 'and' or 'because').

예시: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father bought it for me, and it had a beautiful yellow basket. I used it every day to go to school and to visit friends, so I loved it because it was both useful and cheerful.

제안: Answer the question directly, then support with one or two clear reasons and an example. Avoid hesitation words and awkward phrasing ('encouraged to use by their inhabitants' should be 'encouraged among residents' or 'promoted by the government'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'therefore' to connect ideas. Keep sentences simple and natural.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because of environmental concerns and government campaigns promoting cycling. For example, many cities have added bike lanes and public bike-share schemes, so more people choose cycling for short trips.

× Uh, actually, uh, owned a bike and it was bought by my father.

✓ Uh, actually, I owned a bike that my father bought for me.

Original sentence lacks a subject for the verb 'owned', causing a sentence structure error. Also the passive clause 'it was bought by my father' is awkward here; using an active relative clause 'that my father bought for me' is more natural. Suggestion: always include the subject (I) and prefer active, concise structures.

× It, that bag was beautiful and it's yellow.

✓ The bag was beautiful and it was yellow.

Original misuses pronouns 'It, that' together, creating confusion. Also tense consistency: talking about a childhood object requires past tense 'was' rather than present 'it's'. Suggestion: use a single clear subject 'The bag' and keep past tense.

× Umm, it serves me a lot of functions and I love it.

✓ It served many functions for me and I loved it.

The student mixes present tense ('serves') with past context (childhood). Use past tense 'served' and 'loved'. Also 'a lot of functions' is awkward; 'many functions' is more natural. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time frame and prefer natural collocations.

× Actually, uh, my country is facing some environmental problems, so bikes are encouraged to use by, uh, their inhabitants and citizens in living here.

✓ Actually, my country is facing some environmental problems, so people are encouraged to use bikes.

Original sentence has incorrect word order and redundant expressions ('inhabitants and citizens in living here') and passive phrasing 'bikes are encouraged to use by' is incorrect. The correct structure is active: 'people are encouraged to use bikes.' Suggestion: simplify subjects ('people') and use active voice for clarity.

× So, uh, in this daytime bike is, uh, popular in my country.

✓ So, during the daytime, bikes are popular in my country.

Original has incorrect word order and singular 'bike' while speaking generally requires plural 'bikes'. 'In this daytime' is not idiomatic; use 'during the daytime'. Also ensure subject-verb agreement: 'bikes are'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements and correct time expressions.