Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by two supporting details. Correct grammar (e.g., tense, articles, possessives) and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, however, so) to connect ideas. Aim for 3–4 sentences, include one specific detail (age or time) and one brief reason or result.

예시: No, I didn't have a bike as a child. My parents couldn’t afford one, so I never owned one even though I wanted one badly. Once I tried riding my cousin’s bike when I was about eight, but I kept falling, so I gave it up.

제안: Start with a clear opinion sentence, then give two specific supporting points (who uses bikes, cultural reasons) using appropriate linking words (for example, however, because). Avoid vague phrases and correct grammar (plural/singular, articles, prepositions). Keep it to 3–4 sentences and include one concrete example or brief explanation of the cultural norm.

예시: Yes, bikes are common in my country, but they are more popular among boys. Many families discourage girls from cycling because of traditional beliefs about gender roles, so you rarely see women riding in public. I hope these attitudes change so that cycling becomes acceptable for everyone.

× 'Actually no, but I've always had the cha.'

✓ 'Actually no, but I've always had the chance.'

'cha' appears to be an incomplete word. The speaker likely meant 'chance' and also article use is fine; correct the word to form a meaningful noun.'

× 'I've always had wish to have a bike but I never had any because my parents were too broke to have it.'

✓ 'I've always wished to have a bike, but I never had one because my parents were too poor to afford it.'

'had wish to have' is an incorrect structure; use the verb 'wish' in past/perfect form: ‘have wished’ or simply ‘I've always wished’. 'any' is vague; use 'one' for a countable noun. 'too broke to have it' is informal and awkward; use 'too poor to afford it.' Suggestions: use correct verb form and choose appropriate determiners for countable nouns.'

× 'So anyway I thought one time that I found my cousin have a bike so I tried to use it but I just I couldn't and I kept falling.'

✓ 'One time I thought I had found my cousin's bike, so I tried to use it, but I couldn't and I kept falling.'

'thought one time that I found' is awkward; use 'One time I thought I had found' or 'I thought I had found'. 'my cousin have a bike' is incorrect subject-verb and possession; use 'my cousin's bike.' Remove duplicate 'I' and keep tense consistent. Suggestions: use possessive for ownership and past perfect/simple past correctly.'

× 'So I just decided that oh I can't really use a bike anymore So I stopped.'

✓ 'So I just decided that I couldn't really use a bike anymore, so I stopped.'

'decided that oh I can't' mixes past and present; maintain past tense after 'decided' (couldn't). Add comma and lowercase 'so' for flow. Suggestions: keep tense consistent within the clause.'

× 'Like I really wish to have one but I couldn't so.'

✓ 'I really wished I could have one, but I couldn't.'

'wish to have' with present perfect earlier is inconsistent; here past context requires 'wished' or 'I really wanted one'. 'but I couldn't so' is incomplete; remove 'so.' Suggestions: use complete clause and correct tense.'

× 'Of course they are, but they are more popular into the boys world.'

✓ 'Of course they are, but they are more popular in the boys' world.'

'into' is the wrong preposition; use 'in'. 'boys world' needs possessive form 'boys'' to show the world belonging to boys. Suggestions: use correct preposition and possessive form.'

× 'Actually the boys have more bikes so more than women does.'

✓ 'Actually the boys have more bikes than women do.'

'so more than women does' is ungrammatical: 'does' does not agree and auxiliary is unnecessary; use 'do' to match plural 'women' or omit auxiliary: 'than women.' Suggestions: use correct comparison structure and subject-verb agreement.'

× 'Because actually girls are forbidden to to use a bike.'

✓ 'Because actually girls are forbidden to use a bike.'

'to to' is a duplication error; remove the extra 'to'. Also 'forbidden to use a bike' is passive but acceptable. Suggestions: proofread for duplicate words.'

× 'So it's kind of a shameful thing when they see a woman using a bike.'

✓ 'So it's considered shameful when people see a woman riding a bike.'

'a shameful thing' is awkward; 'considered shameful' is more natural. 'using a bike' is acceptable but 'riding a bike' is more idiomatic. Also 'they' could be vague; 'people' clarifies. Suggestions: choose more natural collocations.'

× 'Which I don't really know why but I actually wish this thoughts would disappear about women.'

✓ 'I don't really know why, but I actually wish these thoughts about women would disappear.'

'Which' at sentence start creates a fragment. Use a full sentence. 'this thoughts' has determiner and number mismatch; use 'these thoughts'. Place 'about women' next to 'thoughts' for clarity. Suggestions: avoid sentence fragments and match demonstratives to plural nouns.'

× 'Just so humiliating.'

✓ 'It's so humiliating.'

'Just so humiliating' is a fragment; add a subject and verb ('It's') to make a complete sentence. Suggestions: ensure sentences have a subject and verb for completeness.'