Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and avoid hesitation. Provide one or two specific supporting details using linking words. For example, correct tense (was → were), use 'rode' not 'wrote', and replace filler sounds (uh, um) with brief pauses. Make the answer up to 3-4 sentences: state you had a bike, describe it briefly, and add a short memory or reason why you liked it.

예시: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a small pink bicycle when I was about seven, and I loved it. Because it was lightweight and had a comfortable seat, I rode it almost every day after school. I still remember learning to balance on the pavement near our house.

제안: Reduce hesitations and fix word choice and sentence structure. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific supporting reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' or 'also'). Replace 'buy' with 'one of' or 'a', and correct articles and repetitions. Mention concrete examples (commuting, cost-saving) to make the answer more specific and convincing.

예시: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country. They are a common choice for short commutes and errands because they are cheap to maintain and avoid traffic. Also, bikes help protect the environment by producing no emissions, so many people choose them for short trips.

× Yes I did. I remember that my parents bought me a pink bike when it was a little dry and I really like it so I. Uh, wrote it once a day.

✓ Yes, I did. I remember that my parents bought me a pink bike when I was a little child and I really liked it so I rode it once a day.

Multiple tense and word-choice errors: 'when it was a little dry' is incorrect and likely intended 'when I was a little child' (incorrect pronoun/word choice). The clause 'I really like it' should use past tense 'liked' to match past timeframe. 'Wrote it once a day' is a wrong verb; 'rode' is the correct past tense of 'ride'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently for past events and choose verbs that match the action (ride → rode). Use commas for clarity.

× Uh, yes I do umm, buy uh, one of the most popular uh, private transportation in my country.

✓ Uh, yes I do. I think it is one of the most popular private means of transportation in my country.

The original sentence has structure and word choice problems: 'buy' is wrong in context (speaker likely intended 'is'), and 'private transportation' is better expressed as 'private means of transportation'. Also the sentence lacked a clear subject linked to the predicate. Suggestion: use 'it is' to state opinion and 'means of transportation' for clarity; maintain sentence structure subject + verb + complement.

× Uh, I think it is uh, helpful to protect the environment because it is a an eco friendly vehicle.

✓ Uh, I think it is helpful for protecting the environment because it is an eco-friendly vehicle.

Article usage and preposition choice errors: 'a an' is duplicate and should be 'an' before a vowel sound; 'helpful to protect' is acceptable but 'helpful for protecting' or 'helps protect' is more natural. Also 'eco friendly' should be hyphenated 'eco-friendly'. Suggestion: use the correct article 'an' and prefer 'helps protect' or 'helpful for protecting' for fluency.