Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitation and filler words, give a clear topic sentence then one concise supporting detail. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating phrases. For example, state simply when you had the bike and one brief comment about it (e.g., how you used it or a memory). Use linking words if adding extra information.

예시: I had a bike as a child. I got it when I was about five and rode it regularly until I was ten, which helped me learn balance and made my childhood very active.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Avoid vague phrasing and repetition. Use linking words such as "because", "for example", or "however" to connect ideas. Be more precise about who uses bikes and why (e.g., students commuting, people for exercise).

예시: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because many students and commuters use them for short trips. For example, in cities you can see many schoolchildren cycling to school, and some people prefer bikes to avoid traffic and save money.

× people with the young ages most likely don't don't have their or don't get affected by advanced technologies or some new technologies, so they they tend to.

✓ people of young ages most likely don't have access to advanced technologies, so they tend to ride bikes.

The phrase 'people with the young ages' is ungrammatical; use 'people of young ages' or better 'young people'. Also 'don't have their' is incomplete and unclear. 'Don't get affected by advanced technologies' is awkward; 'don't have access to advanced technologies' or 'are less affected by' is clearer. Remove repeated words 'don't don't' and 'they they'. Use plural agreement correctly and concise phrasing.

× I actually did have a bike when I was a child, umm, from, uh, the ages, uh, from, uh, maybe, uh, when I was five years old until I got like 10. So yeah.

✓ I did have a bike when I was a child, from about when I was five until I was ten.

The original sentence uses redundant fillers and awkward pronoun/number phrasing 'got like 10'. Replace with 'was ten' for correct reference to age. Also remove unnecessary repetition 'from, uh, the ages, uh, from, uh, maybe, uh,' to produce a grammatically correct and natural sentence.