Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like "uh," "and yeah." Use past simple consistently and give a short result or feeling to make the answer complete.

예시: Yes, I did. My dad bought me a red second-hand bike when I was in fourth grade, and I loved riding it around the neighborhood. Unfortunately, it was damaged in a small accident and I couldn’t use it after that, which made me quite disappointed.

제안: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with brief reasons and avoid hesitation or irrelevant comments about your age. Use linking words (e.g., "however," "because") and specific observations (who uses bikes, for what). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I think bikes used to be very popular, especially among children and students because they were an inexpensive way to get around. However, nowadays fewer people use bikes regularly because more families own cars and public transport has improved.

× I had one, it was red in color.

✓ I had one; it was red.

Red in color is wordy and redundant. Use the adjective alone (red). Also replace the comma splice with a semicolon or separate into two sentences to fix sentence structure.

× My dad got me a second hand bike when I was in my 4th grade.

✓ My dad bought me a second-hand bike when I was in fourth grade.

Use the adjective form second-hand with a hyphen. Use bought rather than got for clarity. Do not use the article 'in' before grade; say 'in fourth grade' or simply 'when I was in fourth grade' (no numeral with 'th' is preferred in formal writing).

× It didn't last long.

✓ It didn't last long.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It correctly uses past tense to describe a past event.

× It got destroyed when I had that tiny accident.

✓ It was destroyed when I had that small accident.

Passive 'was destroyed' is more natural than 'got destroyed' in formal speech. Use 'small' instead of 'tiny' for collocation with 'accident.' The past tense 'had' is correct.

× And yeah.

✓ And yes.

While informal filler language is acceptable in speech, 'yeah' is colloquial. 'Yes' is more standard. Also, as a fragment it is acceptable in spoken responses but avoid overuse.

× I don't know now, but it was, uh, back then, when I was little.

✓ I don't know now, but it was back then when I was little.

Remove the extra commas around 'uh' and 'back then' to improve flow. Tense contrast is correct: present 'don't know' vs past 'was.' The original had unnecessary disfluencies.

× Now it was quite a thing when everyone has it.

✓ It used to be quite a thing when everyone had one.

Mixing past 'was' with present 'has' creates a tense inconsistency. Change to past 'used to be' and 'had' to maintain past reference. Replace 'it' with 'one' to clearly refer to bikes.

× Umm, but now I don't know.

✓ But now I don't know.

Remove filler 'Umm' in formal correction. The sentence is otherwise correct using present tense 'don't know.'

× I'm a grown *** now.

✓ I'm grown up now.

The placeholder '***' seems like censored word. The correct phrase is 'I'm grown up now.' 'Grown up' is the adjective phrase meaning adult.

× I'm a grown up now.

✓ I'm a grown-up now.

Use the hyphenated form 'grown-up' as a noun when saying 'a grown-up.' This is the standard written form; contractions and informal forms are acceptable in speech but hyphenation is correct in writing.