Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy and filler words, and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Correct small grammatical issues (e.g., “enjoyed so much” → “enjoyed”) and avoid repetition of words like “bicycle/bicycles.”

예시: Yes, I did. I had a bicycle and rode it to school most days. Also, I really enjoyed cycling with my friends after classes because it was fun and saved time.

제안: Give a direct opinion first, then add specific supporting reasons using linking words. Remove fillers and avoid repeating words. Improve clarity by specifying comparisons and consequences (e.g., why rural areas use bikes more).

예시: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular, especially in rural areas. This is because fuel is harder to access there, so people prefer bikes for short trips; moreover, they are cheaper to run and maintain than motorbikes.

× I really enjoyed so much riding bicycles, uh, in my school days.

✓ I really enjoyed riding my bicycle a lot during my school days.

The phrase 'enjoyed so much riding bicycles' has incorrect word order and redundancy. 'Enjoy' is followed directly by the gerund 'riding'. Use 'a lot' for emphasis and 'during my school days' for time. Also use singular 'my bicycle' to match context or 'bicycles' if speaking generally; here singular sounds more natural.

× I used to go to school every day using that bicycle.

✓ I used to go to school every day on that bicycle.

The verb phrase 'go to school on a bicycle' is standard; 'using' is grammatically possible but less natural. 'On that bicycle' is the correct prepositional phrase to indicate mode of transport.

× I believe bikes are popular in rural rural areas because uh, there were no petrol pumps when I was a child, or even now as well, and bikes are really helpful to reach nearby places without, uh, any gas.

✓ I believe bikes are popular in rural areas because there were few petrol pumps when I was a child, and even now they are scarce, so bikes are useful for reaching nearby places without needing petrol.

This sentence has repetition ('rural rural'), run-on structure, incorrect phrase 'without any gas', and unclear pronoun references. Replace repeated word, split ideas for clarity, use 'few' or 'scarce' for countable nouns like petrol pumps, and say 'without needing petrol' to express that bikes can be used without petrol (e.g. pedal bikes). Also ensure subject agreement ('they are scarce').

× there were no petrol pumps when I was a child, or even now as well,

✓ there were few petrol pumps when I was a child, and even now there are few.

Using 'there were no petrol pumps' is likely inaccurate and absolute; 'few' better expresses scarcity. Also maintain consistent 'there are/there were' structure for past and present. 'Or even now as well' is redundant; use 'and even now' or 'and there are few now'.