Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetitions (uh, it it it), and add one specific supporting detail. Keep to maximum five sentences and use linking words if you add more detail. Also correct minor phrasing to sound natural (e.g., “it wasn’t much use”).

예시: Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. However, I wasn't very good at riding it, so it wasn't much use. For example, I could only ride short distances and usually preferred walking. As a result, I didn't use it very often.

제안: Organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence about popularity, then support with specific examples and a linking word. Avoid hesitations and repetitions; use clearer vocabulary (e.g., “common” or “widely used”), and be specific about ages and purposes. Keep it within five sentences.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular among children in my country. For example, many schoolchildren use bicycles to travel to tuition classes and visit relatives. However, after they turn about 18, most people switch to other modes of transport like motorbikes or public transit. Therefore, biking remains common mainly among younger children.

× Yes, I did, but I was really bad at uh riding that bike, so it it it wasn't a help.

✓ Yes, I did, but I was really bad at riding that bike, so it wasn't helpful.

The phrase 'wasn't a help' is awkward; use the adjective 'helpful' to describe something that provides assistance. Also remove repeated filler 'it it it' and unnecessary 'uh'. Maintain past tense 'was' to match the time frame of childhood. Suggestion: eliminate fillers and use 'helpful' for natural phrasing.

× Actually I didn't ride it that much, but I did have a bike.

✓ Actually, I didn't ride it that much, but I did have a bike.

This sentence is grammatically correct; only punctuation (comma after 'Actually') improves clarity. Tenses are consistent: past simple 'didn't ride' and 'did have' refer to past state. Suggestion: add a comma after introductory 'Actually' for smoother speech transcription.

× Yes, by example, Pula among children actually umm, when they get older like after 18 or something, actually the bikes don't uh, they don't use bikes that much.

✓ Yes, for example, in Pula, among children, when they get older, like after 18 or so, they don't use bikes that much.

Use 'for example' instead of 'by example' and 'in Pula' to indicate location. Remove redundant phrases and extra filler words. 'After 18 or something' is colloquial; 'after 18 or so' is clearer. Ensure subject 'they' directly follows to avoid split verbs. Suggestion: replace 'by example' with 'for example', use 'in' for locations, and simplify to avoid redundancy.

× So uh among children to go to tuition classes, to go to relative places, children use this bike children use bikes so.

✓ So, among children, they use bikes to go to tuition classes and to visit relatives.

The original sentence repeats subjects and has awkward word order. Use a clear subject 'they' and parallel structure for the list of purposes: 'to go to tuition classes and to visit relatives.' 'Relative places' is unclear; 'visit relatives' is the correct collocation. Remove fillers like 'uh' and trailing 'so.' Suggestion: use pronoun 'they' once, keep parallel infinitive phrases, and use common collocations like 'visit relatives'.