Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, correct grammar, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus 1–2 supporting details. Avoid repetition and fix verb forms (e.g., 'used to have', 'it was a present', 'I enjoyed riding with my friends'). Use linking words like 'and' or 'so' to connect ideas. Keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes. I used to have a small pink bike that my parents gave me for my birthday. I enjoyed riding it with my friends around town, and we spent many afternoons exploring different neighbourhoods.

제안: Answer directly first, then give a clear reason with a specific contrast. Remove hesitations ('uh') and fill the unfinished thought. Use linking words like 'because' and 'however' to show contrast. Provide a concrete example or statistic to support your view.

예시: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country. After moving to London I noticed many people use bicycles as everyday transport, but in Kazakhstan most people prefer cars or buses, especially in winter when cycling is difficult.

× Yes, I used to have a bike which is small and pink, which was was a present for me for my birthday from my parents and I actually enjoyed to writing them with my friends and spend time with my friends by riding around the town. Yeah.

✓ Yes, I used to have a small pink bike that was a present from my parents for my birthday, and I actually enjoyed riding it with my friends and spending time riding around the town.

Errors: repeated word 'was was' (sentence structure/redundancy), incorrect relative clause 'which is small and pink' should match past context, wrong verb forms 'enjoyed to writing them' and 'spend time with my friends by riding' (incorrect verb + -ing use and pronoun reference). Grammar problem types: 6 (Present tense issue) because relative clause used present instead of past consistency, 8 (Verb + -ing form) and 26 (Sentence structure errors). Suggestions: Keep tense consistent (used to -> past descriptions), use 'that' or 'which' appropriately and place adjectives before noun ('small pink bike'), use gerund after 'enjoyed' ('enjoyed riding it'), use correct pronoun 'it' for singular bike, and parallel gerunds ('riding' and 'spending'). Use single clear clauses to avoid redundancy.

× I don't think so because I realized after, uh, moving in London that every, per every single person can ride a bicycle around the town by using them. Actually just about like a, just a transport, but in Kazakhstan only, uh, I think people use only for the.

✓ I don't think so, because after moving to London I realized that almost every person can ride a bicycle around the town. There it is used mainly as a means of transport, but in Kazakhstan I think people use bicycles only for short trips or recreation.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'moving in London' (should be 'moving to London'), awkward phrase 'every, per every single person' (quantifier/redundancy), incorrect pronoun 'them' referring to 'bicycle' (should be singular or omitted), sentence fragment 'just about like a, just a transport' and trailing 'use only for the.' Grammar problem types: 11 (Incorrect use of prepositions), 14 (Incorrect use of quantifiers), 12 (Incorrect use of pronouns), 26 (Sentence structure errors), 22 (Article errors). Suggestions: Use 'moving to' for relocation, simplify quantifiers to 'almost every person' or 'nearly everyone', use singular reference 'a bicycle' or 'it', restructure sentences to avoid fragments, and complete the final idea ('use bicycles only for short trips or recreation').